Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings

Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings
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Оглавление

Billings Josh. Josh Billings, Hiz Sayings

I. JOSH BILLINGS ON THE MULE

II. JOSH BILLINGS INSURES HIS LIFE

III. REMARKS

IV. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS

V. A TABLOWS IN 4 ACKS

VI. FEMALE EDDIKASHUN

VII. DEPOZETIONS

VIII. WAR AND ARMY PHRAZES

IX. PASHUNCE OV JOB

X. FRIENDLY LETTER

XI. AFFURISMS

XII. JOSH BILLINGS ON CATS

XIII. REMARKS

XIV. JOSH BILLINGS ADDRESSES THE "FEMAIL BILLINGSVILLE SOWING SOSIETY."

XV. NOSHUNS

XVI. SAYINS

XVII. ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS

XVIII. THE DEVIL'S PUTTY AND VARNISH

XIX. MANIFEST DESTINY

XX. ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS

XXI. ON DOGS

XXII. SAYINGS OF JOSH BILLINGS

XXIII. FASHION

XXIV. REMARKS

XXV. PROVERBIAL PIG

XXVI. PROVERBS

XXVII. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS

XXVIII. PROVERBS OF THE BILLINGS FAMILY

XXIX. A FU REMARKS

XXX. A LEKTURE TO MALE YOUNG MEN ONLY

XXXI. CLEVER FELLOWS

XXXII. AFFERISIMS

XXXIII. ANSWERS TO CONTRIBUTORS

XXXIV. A SHORT AND VERY AFFEKTING ESSA ON MAN

XXXV. THE RASE KOARSE

XXXVI 'GIV THE DEVIL HIZ DUE.'

XXXVII. WATCH DOGS

XXXVIII. ANSWER TO CONTRIBUTORS

XXXIX. REMARKS

XL. AN ESSA ONTO MUSIK

XLI "MAN WAZ MADE TEW MOURN."

XLII. PROVERBS

XLIII. KISSING CONSIDERED

XLIV. FOR A FU MINNITS AMUNG THE SPEERITS

XLV. SAYINGS

XLVI. JOSH GOES TO LONG BRANCH

XLVII. TO MY LADY CORRESPONDENTS

XLVIII. ON WIDDERS

XLIX. THINGS THAT I DON'T HANKER AFTER TO SEE

L. ON COURTING

LI. REMARKS

LII. THE FAULT-FINDER

LIII. PROVERBS

LIV. KOLIDING

LV. ON SNAIKS AND MUDTURKLES

LVI. TRUE BILLS

LVII. NARRATIF

LVIII. PHOTOGRAPHS

LIX. AFFERISIMS

LX. JOSH GITS ORFULLY BIT

LXI. THINGS THAT SUIT ME

LXII. MY FUST GONG

LXIII. PROVERBS

LXIV. DISIPLIN IZ EVRATHING – IN 2 PARTS

LXV. CORRESPONDENTS

LXVI. JOSH BILLINGS AT SARATOGA SPRINGS

LXVII. NOT ENNY SHANGHI FOR ME

LXVIII. IS DISPOSING OV THINGS FOR CHARITABEL PURPOSES BI "LOT" A SIN?

LXIX. ADVERTIZEMENT

LXX. OUT WEST!

LXXI. SAYINS

LXXII. A WIMMIN'S LEAGUE MEETIN

LXXIII. A TRUE FISH STORY FOUNDED ON FAK

LXXIV. AT SARATOGA SPRINGS

LXXV. SPIRITUAL BELIEF OV THE BILLINGSES

LXXVI. JOSH BILLINGS CORRESPONDS WITH A "HAIR OIL AND VEGETABLE BITTERS MAN"

LXXVII. PROVERBS

LXXVIII. DOMESTIK RECEIPTS IN FULL

LXXIX. FAKS

LXXX. ON LECTURES

LXXX. YANKEE NOSHUNS

LXXXII. ATTENTION! SQUAD!

LXXXIII. THE FUST BABY

LXXXIV. LAUGHING

LXXXV. PIONEERS

Отрывок из книги

I kum to the conclusion, lately, that life waz so onsartin, that the only wa for me tu stand a fair chance with other folks, was to git my life insured, and so i kalled on the Agent of the "Garden Angel life insurance Co.," and answered the following questions, which waz put tu me over the top ov a pair of goold specks, by a slik little fat old feller, with a little round gray head, and az pretty a little belly on him az enny man ever owned: —

1st – Are yu mail or femail? if so, Pleze state how long you have been so.

.....

6th – Du yu ever hav enny nite mares?

7th – Are you married and single, or are yu a Bachelor?

.....

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