The Humors of Falconbridge

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Falconbridge. The Humors of Falconbridge

A BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF THE LATE JONATHAN F. KELLY

If it ain't right, I'll make it all right in the Morning!

Don't you believe in 'em?

The Old Black Bull

Dobbs makes "a Pint."

Used Up

The Greatest Moral Engine

The Story of Capt. Paul

Hereditary Complaints

Nights with the Caucusers

Affecting Cruelty

The Wolf Slayer

The Man that knew 'em All

A Severe Spell of Sickness

The Race of the Aldermen

Getting Square

People Do Differ!

Bill Whiffletree's Dental Experience

A-a-a-in't they Thick?

A Desperate Race

Dodging the Responsibility

A Night Adventure in Prairie Land

Roosting Out

Rather Twangy

Passing Around the Fodder! A Dinner Sketch

A Hint to Soyer

The Leg of Mutton

A Chapter on Misers

Dog Day

Amateur Gardening

The Two Johns at the Tremont

The Yankee in a Boarding School

A Dreadful State of Excitement

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Humbug

Hotel Keeping

"According to Gunter."

Quartering upon Friends

Jake Hinkle's Failings

What's Going to Happen

The Washerwoman's Windfall

We don't Wonder at It

Old Maguire and his Horse Bonny Doon

Getting into the "Right Pew."

A Circuitous Route

Major Blink's First Season at Saratoga

Old Jack Ringbolt

Who Killed Capt. Walker?

Practical Philosophy

Borrowed finery; or, Killed off by a Ballet Girl

Legal Advice

Wonders of the Day

"Don't Know You, Sir!"

A Circumlocutory Egg Pedler

Jolly Old Times

The Pigeon Express Man

Jipson's Great Dinner Party

Look out for them Lobsters

The Fitzfaddles at Hull

Putting Me on a Platform!

The Exorbitancy of Meanness

"Taking Down" a Sheriff

Governor Mifflin's First Coal Fire

Sure Cure

Chasing a Fugitive Subscriber

Ambition

Way the Women Fixed the Tale-Bearer

Penalty of Kissing your own Wife

Mysteries and Miseries of Housekeeping

Miseries of a Dandy

A Juvenile Joe Miller

"Selling" a Landlord

Scientific Labor

Who was that Poor Woman?

Infirmities of Nature

Andrew Jackson and his Mother

Snaking out Sturgeons

Mixing Meanings – Mangling English

Waking up the Wrong Passenger

Genius for Business

Have You Got Any Old Boots?

The Vagaries of Nature

A General Disquisition on "Hinges."

Miseries of Bachelorhood

The Science of "Diddling."

The Re-Union; Thanksgiving Story

Cabbage vs. Men

Wanted – A Young Man from the Country

Presence of Mind

The Skipper's Schooner

Philosophy of the Times

The Emperor and the Poor Author

The Bigger Fool, the Better Luck

An Active Settlement

A Yankee in a Pork-house

German Caution

Ben. McConachy's Great Dog Sell

The Perils of Wealth

Nursing a Legacy

The Troubles of a Mover

The Question Settled

How it's Done at the Astor House

The Advertisement

Incidents in a Fortune-Hunter's Life

A Distinction with a Difference

Pills and Persimmons

Mysteries and Miseries of the Life of a City Editor

The Tribulations of Incivility

The Broomstick Marriage

Appearances are Deceitful

Cigar Smoke

An Everlasting Tall Duel

Отрывок из книги

A keen, genteely dressed, gentlemanly man "put up" at Beltzhoover's Hotel, in Baltimore, one day some years ago, and after dining very sumptuously every day, drinking his Otard, Margieux and Heidsic, and smoking his "Tras," "Byrons," and "Cassadoras," until the landlord began to surmise the "bill" getting voluminous, he made the clerk foot it up and present it to our modern Don Cæsar De Bazan, who, casting his eye over the long lines of perpendicularly arranged figures, discovered that – which in no wise alarmed him, however – he was in for a matter of a cool C!

"Ah! yes, I see; well, I presume it's all right, all correct, sir, no doubt about it," says Don Cæsar.

.....

Don Cæsar did not return to make good his promise in the morning, and so the landlord took the liberty of investigating the wallet, deposited for safe keeping in the fire-proof of the office, by the Don; and lo! and behold! it contained old checks, unreceipted bills, and a few samples of Brandon bank notes, with this emphatic remark: – "All right, if it ain't all right, we'll make it all right in the morning!"

Now it chanced that Mr. Bulkley had a small farm, some distance from the town of Colchester, and found it necessary, the same day he wrote his opinion and advice to the brethren of the disaffected church, to drop a line to his farmer regarding the fixtures of said estate. Having written a long, and of course, elaborate "essay" to his brethren, he wound up the day's literary exertions with a despatch to the farmer, and after a reverie to himself, he directs the two documents, and next morning despatches them to their several destinations.

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