Mitzi MacBain was diagnosed with Adult ADHD-Hyperactive/Impulsive Type at age 49. All of her adult life she was plagued with issues that she assumed were connected to her childhood. She had chronic issues of overeating, overspending, ruminating about her childhood, lashing out at people, cycles of rage, constant need to keep moving, chronic sleep deprivation, no ability to plan for the future, and always acting on impulse. She was plagued with chronic fear and anxiety at her core. No matter how hard she worked on herself in therapy, 12 step programs, EMDR, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, etc., she just felt stuck. This book is a testimony to the power of healing with the right tools and a lot of determination!
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Mitzi MacBain. The Hummingbird Effect
The Hummingbird Effect. Going 65 MPH 25/7. Mitzi MacBain
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Childhood/Adulthood
My ADHD Diagnosis
Posting from Joel, My Fiancé
Posting from Joy Hare, My Mentor
My Life Today
Reference Materials
Blog: The Hummingbird Effect
TV and Not Eating All Night
Lion Versus Cat Energy
Childhood Abuse v ADHD
Quality Sleep
A Friend’s Observation
Finally Patience!
My Wonderful Boyfriend!
A Glimpse of Normalcy
Medication Adjustment
Calmness v. Bitterness
Setbacks
Little Daily Gifts
Letting Go of Melatonin
Sleeping Like a “Normy”
Finally a Delay Button
Hummingbird = Hyperactivity
The Head v. the Heart
Acceptance in Human Psychology is a Person’s Assent to the Reality of a Situation
Sleep: the Body’s Rest Cycle
Hunger: Physical, Emotional and Motor
When It’s Not What It Seems…
Neurofeedback: The Dessert of Treatment
Ghosts from the Past
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This book is dedicated to my beloved fiancé Joel McPike.
His “kind to the bone” personality and unconditional love have healed me in more ways than he could ever know.
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My years at Bean’s were a struggle. I was out of control with sugar/binging, full of rage, flying around like a squirrel looking for nuts just before winter strikes, shutdown, and just struggling to get by. I worked in the Accounting Department. I handled check depositing and then moved into making bank deposits from the retail store sales. That was my favorite job at Bean’s. I loved handling lots of money! Ironic though now to think I had a sit down job all those years with undiagnosed Adult ADHD-Hyperactive/Impulsive Type. Sitting still was almost impossible. I was always jumping up to go the bathroom, get a snack, chat with other coworkers, etc. I somehow made it through until I was 26 and then decided I needed to leave. I had been there 8 years and I was bored.
Now from then until recently, I really had no concept of the future. I always lived in the moment, spontaneous and just did what I wanted. I never saved money. If I had money, I spent it. It never even crossed my mind to save for my future. My impulsivity was severe. I always thought I lived chronically in debt because of the severe deprivation I suffered as a child. I supported myself from age 14 on. The only thing I got from 14 to 18 from my father and stepmother was food, a bed, and 1 gift at my birthday and Christmas. I paid for all my clothes, all my necessities, my own car, graduation pictures, etc. I will never forget my senior year in high school. My step-mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said a jacket from L.L. Bean. Christmas morning when everyone was opening presents under the tree, she told me my gift was over by the living room door. I looked over and it was my jacket still in the bag with receipt unwrapped. That was such a powerful punch to the gut. I was so unimportant she couldn’t even bother to wrap my gift and because it was not under the tree I got the message loud and clear I was not wanted there. There really are endless ways to be cruel to a child.
