Оглавление
A. A. Milne. The Holiday Round
The Holiday Round
Table of Contents
HOLIDAY TIME
THE HOUSE-WARMING. AT PLAY. TWO STORIES. AN ODD LOT. LITTLE PLAYS FOR AMATEURS. A CHAPTER OF ACCIDENTS. STORIES OF SUCCESSFUL LIVES. A FEW FRIENDS. EPILOGUE. HOLIDAY TIME
I.—THE ORDEAL BY WATER
II.—BECALMED
III.—A DAY ASHORE
IV.—IN THE WET
"I AM AN ORPHAN. SO ARE THE OTHERS, BUT THEY ARE NOT SO ORPHAN AS I AM. I AM EXTREMELY FREQUENT."
"WE ARE DOING THIS FOR AN ADVERTISEMENT. IF YOU LIKE US, SEND A SHILLING FOR A FREE SAMPLE CONCERT, MENTIONING THIS PAPER. YOUR MONEY BACK IF WE ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH IT."
"WORLD'S LONG DISTANCE CORNETIST. HOLDER OF THE OBOE RECORD ON GRASS. RUNNER-UP IN THE OCARINA WELTER WEIGHTS (STRANGLE HOLD BARRED). MIXED ZITHER CHAMPION (1907, COVERED COURTS)."
"KIND FRIENDS, HELP US. WE WERE WRECKED THIS AFTERNOON. THE CORNET WAS SINKING FOR THE THIRD TIME WHEN IT WAS RESCUED, AND HAD TO BE BROUGHT ROUND BY ARTIFICIAL RESPIRATION. CAN YOU SPARE US A DRINK OF WATER?"
"WE WANT YOUR MONEY. IF YOU CANNOT GIVE US ANY, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE KEEP THE CAP."
V.—MAROONED
VI.—A LITTLE CRICKET FOR AN ENDING
THE HOUSE-WARMING
I.—WORK FOR ALL
II.—A GALA PERFORMANCE
III.—UNEXPECTED GUESTS
IV.—A WORD IN SEASON
FIRST SCENE
SECOND SCENE
THIRD SCENE
V.—UNINVITED GUESTS
VI.—A FINAL ARRANGEMENT
AT PLAY
TEN AND EIGHT
PAT BALL
THE OPENING SEASON
AN INLAND VOYAGE
AN INFORMAL EVENING
THE CONTINENTAL MANNER
TWO STORIES
THE MAKING OF A CHRISTMAS STORY (AS CARRIED OUT IN THE BEST END OF FLEET STREET) YULETIDE!
[EDITOR. THIS IS BETTER. I ORDERED A TURKEY, I REMEMBER. WHAT ABOUT THE MISTLETOE AND HOLLY? I RATHER THINK I ASKED FOR SOME OF THEM. AUTHOR. WE MUST LET THE READERS TAKE SOMETHING FOR GRANTED. EDITOR. I AM NOT SO SURE. COULDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS: "HOLLY AND MISTLETOE HUNG IN FESTOONS UPON THE WALL?"]
[EDITOR. THANK YOU.]
[EDITOR. HOW DID HE KNOW? AND WHY "HUSKILY"? AUTHOR. HE DIDN'T KNOW, HE GUESSED. AND HIS MOUTH WAS FULL.]
[EDITOR. THIS IS SPLENDID. THIS QUITE RECONCILES ME TO THE ABSENCE OF THE ROBIN. BUT WHAT WAS ELSIE DOING DOWNSTAIRS? AUTHOR. I AM MAKING ROBERT ASK HER THAT QUESTION DIRECTLY. EDITOR. YES, BUT JUST TELL ME NOW—BETWEEN FRIENDS. AUTHOR. SHE HAD LEFT HER GOLLIWOG IN THE ROOM, AND COULDN'T SLEEP WITHOUT HER. EDITOR. I KNEW THAT WAS IT.]
[EDITOR. HA! AUTHOR. I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THAT.]
[EDITOR. HA AGAIN!]
[EDITOR. HOW EXACTLY DO YOU WORK THE LISPING? AUTHOR. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? DON'T CHILDREN OF ELSIE'S TENDER YEARS LISP SOMETIMES? EDITOR. YES; BUT JUST NOW SHE SAID "KWISTMAS" QUITE CORRECTLY— AUTHOR. I AM GLAD YOU NOTICED THAT. THAT WAS AN EFFECT WHICH I INTENDED TO PRODUCE. LISPING IS BROUGHT ABOUT BY PLACING THE TONGUE UPON THE HARD SURFACE OF THE PALATE, AND IN CASES WHERE THE SUBJECT IS UNDULY EXCITED OR INFLUENCED BY EMOTION THE LISP BECOMES MORE PRONOUNCED. IN THIS CASE— EDITOR. YETH, I THEE.]
AUTHOR. YES, YES. DON'T INTERRUPT NOW, PLEASE.]
[EDITOR. I THINK ALICE'S QUESTION WAS THE MORE REASONABLE ONE.]
[EDITOR. I THOUGHT CHRISTMAS DAY HAD STARTED ON THE EMBANKMENT. THIS WOULD BE BOXING DAY. AUTHOR. I'M SORRY, BUT IT MUST END LIKE THAT. I MUST HAVE MY BELLS. YOU CAN EXPLAIN SOMEHOW. EDITOR. THAT'S ALL VERY WELL. I HAVE A GOOD DEAL TO EXPLAIN AS IT IS. SOME OF YOUR STORY DOESN'T FIT THE PICTURES AT ALL, AND IT IS TOO LATE NOW TO GET NEW ONES DONE. AUTHOR. I AM AFRAID I CANNOT WORK TO ORDER. EDITOR. YES, I KNOW. THE ARTIST SAID THE SAME THING. WELL, I MUST MANAGE SOMEHOW, I SUPPOSE. GOOD-BYE. ROTTEN WEATHER FOR AUGUST, ISN'T IT?] A MATTER-OF-FACT FAIRY TALE
AN ODD LOT
THE COMING OF THE CROCUS
THE ORDEAL BY FIRE
THE LUCKY MONTH
A SUMMER COLD
A MODERN CINDERELLA
A LITERARY LIGHT
I
II
III
IV
LITTLE PLAYS FOR AMATEURS "FAIR MISTRESS DOROTHY"
THE PERIOD IS THAT OF CROMWELL—SIXTEEN SOMETHING. THE COSTUMES ARE, IF POSSIBLE, OF THE SAME PERIOD
"A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING"
CURTAIN "MISS PRENDERGAST"
CURTAIN "AT DEAD OF NIGHT"
CURTAIN "THE LOST HEIRESS"
CURTAIN "WILLIAM SMITH, EDITOR"
CURTAIN. A CHAPTER OF ACCIDENTS
A CROWN OF SORROWS
NAPOLEON AT WORK
THE PORTUGUESE CIGAR
A COLD WORLD
THE DOCTOR
THE THINGS THAT MATTER
STORIES OF SUCCESSFUL LIVES
THE SOLICITOR
THE PAINTER
THE BARRISTER
THE CIVIL SERVANT
THE ACTOR
KICK ME
THE YOUNGER SON
A FEW FRIENDS
MARGERY. I.—A TWICE TOLD TALE
II.—THE LITERARY ART
B A B Y
G O T
SOLICITOR SOLICITOR SOLCTOR
III.—MY SECRETARY
CHUM
BETTY
THE HOTEL CHILD
CINDERELLA (BEING AN EXTRACT FROM HER DIARY—PICKED UP BEHIND THE SCENES)
FATHER CHRISTMAS
MISS MIDDLETON
I.—TAKING A CALL
II.—OUT OF THE HURLY-BURLY
III.—ANOTHER MILESTONE
IV.-THE HERALD OF SUMMER
EPILOGUE
