Оглавление
Adam Przytula. The Road to Resilience
Table of Contents
Guide
Pages
THE ROAD TO RESILIENCE. ARM YOURSELF FOR LIFE’S CHALLENGES AND LEARN HOW TO BOUNCE BACK
IMPORTANT NOTE TO READERS
Acknowledgements
Foreword
Introduction
Why I wrote this book
What I did next
Home truths
How this book will help you
chapter #1 Self‐esteem
Be like Thor
Me
You
Try this. Personal self‐esteem quiz
RESULTS
The self‐esteem spiral
My story
My long, painful downward spiral
How do you improve your self‐esteem?
Change the way you think
WHAT ARE AUTOMATIC NEGATIVE THOUGHTS (ANTS)?
HOW TO MASTER YOUR THOUGHTS
My story
Try this. Nip your ANTs in the bud
Be self‐aware
My story
COPING MECHANISMS
My story
WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?
HOW TO BE SELF‐AWARE
Try this. Be aware of your coping mechanisms
Choose your friends and relationships wisely
HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Be grateful
HOW TO PRACTISE GRATITUDE
Try this. How are you thinking and feeling right now?
Me
WHY PRACTISING GRATITUDE BOOSTS OUR SELF‐ESTEEM
Talk to someone
TALKING TO SOMEONE CAN IMPROVE YOUR SELF‐ESTEEM
Change your lifestyle
WHY CHOOSING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE IMPROVES YOUR SELF‐ESTEEM
WHY YOU NEED A HEALTHY SELF‐ESTEEM
You've got this!
chapter #2 Resilience
What is resilience?
My story
Self‐esteem and resilience
You
The basketball analogy
Practice makes better
Why is resilience important?
The three stages of resilience
Stage 1: Preparation
BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Try this. Relationship circles
LEARNING TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF
Me
You
CHALLENGING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Stage 2: Responsiveness
Me
BEING RESPONSIVE VERSUS BEING REACTIVE
MAKING CHOICES
THE ROLE OF COPING MECHANISMS
ASKING FOR HELP
Cale's story
Stage 3: Reviewing
Try this. Self‐reflection
PREPARATION
RESPONSIVENESS
WHY REVIEWING WORKS
You've got this!
chapter #3 Bullying
What is bullying?
My story
31 January
1 February
The bullying triangle
What is a ‘position of power’?
Who else is in a position of power?
People who bully others
My story, continued … Why did Tom choose me as his target?
What was Tom's problem?
Bullying is not okay
You are not the problem
My story. How I became Adam ‘Bra‐zoola’
BULLYING IS HARMFUL
You are not alone
Responding/reacting to bullying
TALKING ONE‐ON‐ONE
My story, continued …
WHO SHOULD YOU ASK FOR HELP?
YOU MIGHT NEED TO ASK FOR HELP MORE THAN ONCE
Bystanders
THE BYSTANDER EFFECT
BEING AN ASSERTIVE BYSTANDER (OR AN UPSTANDER)
Cyberbullying
We're all in it together
You've got this!
chapter #4 Stress management
My story
What does my story have to do with stress?
You
What is stress?
Stress is a survival mechanism
The fight‐or‐flight response
Fight‐or‐flight is a physiological response
Let's talk science
WHAT IS THE NERVOUS SYSTEM?
THE PERIPHERAL NERVOUS SYSTEM
THE AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM
WHAT DOES THE SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (SNS) DO?
WHAT DOES THE PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (PNS) DO?
WHEN IS THE FIGHT‐OR‐FLIGHT RESPONSE USEFUL?
THE PROBLEM WITH FIGHT‐OR‐FLIGHT
Types of stress
Internal stress and acute inflammation
My story
LOWERED IMMUNITY
Effects of stress
High cortisol
Low serotonin
Try this. Identify your stress symptoms
YOUR SCORE
WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS
Healthy ways to manage stress
Eat well
EAT MORE PROTEIN AND FAT
EAT FRESH, UNPROCESSED FOOD
DRINK WATER
Me
My favourite recipes. Breakfast
Lunch/dinner
Fancy meals (I cook these for date nights)
Vegetarian
Sides
Desserts
Get moving
My go‐to exercises for combating stress
Legs
Chest
Back
Shoulders
Arms
Core
Get 8–10 hours of quality sleep every night
WHAT DOES MELATONIN DO?
Talk to someone
HOW DOES TALK THERAPY WORK?
Take time to relax
HOW TO RELAX
DEEP BREATHING
Manage your time well
Take time out
TIME WITH YOUR TRIBE
Be positive
Accept the things you can't change
Stop using coping mechanisms
How to make stress your friend
You've got this!
chapter #5 Positive mental health and wellbeing
What is positive mental health?
Beyond Blue's Be You Mental Health Continuum
Me
You
What does it mean to be mentally healthy?
WHAT IS A MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE?
WHAT IS A MENTAL ILLNESS?
WHY DOES MENTAL ILLNESS HAPPEN?
My story
My coping mechanisms
THE DOPAMINE RESPONSE
My story, continued …
My home life
My school life
My descent into pornography addiction
What happened next?
MY REASON FOR STARTING ARMED FOR LIFE
Try this. Mental health quiz
How can you improve your mental health?
Asking for help with a mental health issue
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU FEEL LIKE HARMING YOURSELF?
My story
How I recovered from my mental illness
TIME MANAGEMENT
PRAYER
EXERCISE
NUTRITION
TALKING TO A PROFESSIONAL
Why do you need to be mentally healthy to be resilient?
You've got this!
chapter #6 Self‐awareness and managing emotions
Self‐awareness and ANTs
What do ANTs have to do with emotions?
The three negative categories of emotion
Me
You
FEELING BAD
FEELING SAD
FEELING MAD
Managing your emotions
Recognise the emotion
Process the emotion
Express the emotion
Managing emotions and resilience
Review your emotional processing
Developing self‐awareness
Me
My story
You
How to become self‐aware
Practise mindfulness
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS
TRY TO LIVE ‘IN THE MOMENT’
Record your thoughts
Set SMART goals and review them
SPECIFIC GOALS
MEASURABLE GOALS
ATTAINABLE GOALS
RELEVANT GOALS
TIME‐BOUND GOALS
Examples of SMART goals
Be honest with yourself
How self‐awareness makes you more resilient
You've got this!
Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time‐bound
chapter #7 Healthy friendships
The evolution of friendship
What's the advantage of living in a big group?
Why is friendship important?
What about that horrible feeling of getting left out?
How many friends should you have?
A NOTE ON SOCIAL MEDIA ‘FRIENDS’
The benefits of friendship
Me
You
What is a ‘healthy friendship’?
The qualities of a healthy friendship
HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE REAL AND HONEST
HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE ABOUT CARING AND BEING SUPPORTIVE
HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE ABOUT TRUST
HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE ABOUT LOYALTY
HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS ARE ABOUT RESPECT AND NON‐JUDGEMENT
How to establish healthy friendships
BE FRIENDLY
FIND COMPATIBILITY
VALUE YOURSELF
HAVE FUN IN LIFE
Managing conflict
FIGHT FAIR
DON'T LET NEGATIVITY AND RESENTMENT BUILD UP
HOW TO HAVE A HEALTHY FIGHT: CHOOSE YOUR RESPONSE
MASTERING THE ASSERTIVE RESPONSE TO CONFLICT
TALK THINGS THROUGH
LISTEN TO EACH OTHER
DON'T GET OFFENDED
APOLOGISE
LEARN TO FORGIVE
Healthy friendships give you natural resilience
You've got this!
chapter #8 Real men
What is a ‘real man’?
My story
My school years
Adulthood
You
How to be a real man
Own your issues
Have self‐respect
Treat others with respect
OTHER MEN
WOMEN
Care about others
SHOW SELF‐CONTROL
CHOOSE WHAT'S RIGHT
Getting angry: the three options
Managing anger issues
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS
CHALLENGE ABSOLUTE THINKING
USE HUMOUR
STEP AWAY
FIND TIME TO RELAX
Dealing with pornography
PORNOGRAPHY RUINS RELATIONSHIPS
PORNOGRAPHY PREVENTS HAPPINESS
PORNOGRAPHY LIMITS YOUR SUCCESS IN LIFE
PORNOGRAPHY CHANGES YOUR BRAIN
PORNOGRAPHY AND THE DOPAMINE RESPONSE
My story
You
Being a real man is about making healthy decisions
You've got this!
chapter #9 Real beauty
‘Beauty’ is an idea
Who influences how you view beauty?
Your parents/caregivers carve your ideas about beauty
The influence of the media
How your friends influence the way you see beauty
Guys can influence what you think
The role of self‐image in beauty
So what is real beauty?
Self‐love and self‐acceptance
Accept yourself
Know your worth
Find your internal qualities
Me
Try this. It's your turn
Real beauty is priceless
You've got this!
chapter #10 Dating and relationships
The three stages of dating and relationships
The dating stage
Being ‘attracted’ to someone
My story
Getting to know someone
The honeymoon period
My story
The relationship stage
My story
My turning point: meeting Cherith
Getting to know each other
Starting a relationship
Getting married
Co‐dependence, independence and interdependence
Key ingredients for a healthy relationship
In a healthy relationship, you get to be yourself
In a healthy relationship, you set strong boundaries
BOUNDARIES AROUND TIME
BOUNDARIES AROUND PHYSICAL TOUCH
BOUNDARIES AROUND SEX AND INTIMACY
RESPECTING EXTERNAL BOUNDARIES
In a healthy relationship, you learn to love each other
There are certain qualities in a healthy relationship
The not‐currently‐dating‐or‐in‐a‐relationship stage
Not needing to be in a relationship
Finding out what you want
Working on yourself
Relationships and the five health gauges
You've got this!
chapter #11 Drugs, alcohol and other addictions
Making healthy decisions about drugs and alcohol
Decisions about drinking alcohol
HOW ALCOHOL AFFECTS YOUR BRAIN
ALCOHOL IS A COPING MECHANISM
HOW ALCOHOL AFFECTS YOUR BODY
Weed and other drugs
TAKING DRUGS
My story
How poor decision making affects your brain
Focus on your goals
Breaking free from drugs, alcohol and other addictions
Acknowledge the problem
Avoid your triggers
Stay accountable to yourself and others
Practising the skills you've learned
Owning your issues to be resilient
You've got this!
Conclusion
Where I'm at, personally
The future of Armed For Life
Index
WILEY END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT
