Оглавление
Alan Coren. Chocolate and Cuckoo Clocks
CHOCOLATE AND. CUCKOO CLOCKS
Contents
Foreword
Present Laughter
Southgate–San Francisco–Fleet Street
Introduction
No, But I Saw the Movie
Through a Glass, Darkly
It Tolls for Thee
… that Fell on the House that Jack Built
Under the Influence of Literature
This Thing with the Lions
Bohemia
The Power and the Glory
Mao, He’s Making Eyes At Me!
Death Duties
‘The Funniest Writer In Britain Today’
Introduction
Boom, What Makes My House Go Boom?
Suffer Little Children
Ear, Believed Genuine Van Gogh, Hardly Used, What Offers?
Father’s Lib
Let Us Now Phone Famous Men
The Rime of the Ancient Film-maker
Good God, That’s Never The Time, Is It?
Going Cheep
Go Easy, Mr Beethoven, That Was Your Fifth!
Take the Wallpaper in the Left Hand and the Hammer in the Right …
Owing to Circumstances Beyond our Control 1984 has been Unavoidably Detained …
Foreword to Golfing For Cats: An Apology to the Bookseller
Baby Talk, Keep Talking Baby Talk
The Hell at Pooh Corner
And Though They Do Their Best To Bring Me Aggravation …
Life mit Vater
Dr No will See You Now
Bottle Party
The Unacknowledged Legislators of the World
The Hounds Of Spring Are On Winter’s Traces, So That’s Thirty-Eight-Pounds-Forty, Plus Making Good, Say, Fifty-Quid
Appendix
All O’ De People, All De Time
A Word F’om De Sponsor
De Whitehall Snub
A Star Gittin’ Born
Introduction
The Golden Age
Tax Britannica
Blue Flics
Smiling Through
The Gospel According to St Durham
O Little Town of Cricklewood
Just a Gasp at Twilight
For Fear of Finding Something Worse
Mr Noon
No Bloody Fear
Getting the Hump
True Snails Read (anag., 8,6)
One is One and All Alone
£10.66 And All That
Red Sales in the Sunset
Cave Canem
A.A. GILL
The Cricklewood Years
Here We Go Round the Prickly Pear
Uneasy Lies the Head
Salt in the Wound
Good God, That’s Never The Time? (2)
Japanese Sandmen
Card Index
Brightly Shone The Rain That Night
Tuning Up
The Queen, My Lord, is Quite Herself, I Fear
The Green Hills of Cricklewood
Making Old Bones
Osric the Hedgehog
Doom’d For a Certain Term to Walk the Night
Garden Pests
Time for a Quick One?
The Leaving of Cricklewood
Lo, Yonder Waves the Fruitful Palm!
Fabric Conditioning
Numbers Racket
Eight Legs Worse
Do Dilly-Dally on the Way
On a Wing and a Prayer
And Did Those Feet?
Nothing But The Truth
The Last Decade
STEPHEN FRY
Radio Fun
Not My Bag
Queening It
Domestic Drama
Road Rage
Southern Discomfort
Poles Apart
All Quiet On The Charity Front
Ah, Yes, I Remember It Well!
I Blame the Dealers
The Long Goodbye
Copyright
