Sex & Bowls & Rock and Roll: How I Swapped My Rock Dreams for Village Greens

Sex & Bowls & Rock and Roll: How I Swapped My Rock Dreams for Village Greens
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Описание книги

The story of a man who gives up the rock ‘n’ roll dream… to play bowls.Alex Marsh wanted to be a rock star – but it didn’t work out. Instead he toiled away in the big city – only to give up his career, move to rural Norfolk, and become a househusband. Only he isn’t a very good one. Whilst his pride won't let him admit it, he struggles with the cooking, the cleaning and the isolation. He hires a cleaner without telling his wife, his repertoire of baked potatoes exhausts quickly. He becomes hooked on daytime television and computer solitaire. He is in danger of becoming weird.So he takes up bowls. In Sex & Bowls & Rock and Roll we follow a season in the life of the village bowls team, a group of amateur sportsmen and mild eccentrics. In doing so we see this unfashionable pastime in a whole new light, and very funny it is too. But Alex hasn’t quite given up on his dreams of rock stardom. Discovering that some of his mates down the pub are a bit handy with bass and drums he makes one final stab at being in a band, with an eagerly awaited local gig. It is a complete disaster.Join Alex has he comes to terms with life as a domestic disappointment, attempts to learn the fine art of bowls and finally realises that supporting the Sultans Of Ping at the Pink Toothbrush in Rayleigh really was the highpoint of his musical career. Sex & Bowls & Rock and Roll is a hilarious account of the life of a genuinely modern man. Everyone will recognise themselves (or their husbands) and you will be hard pressed not to laugh out loud.

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Alex Marsh. Sex & Bowls & Rock and Roll: How I Swapped My Rock Dreams for Village Greens

Sex & Bowls & Rock and Roll

Alex Marsh

Table of Contents

PREFACE. It was a new day yesterday, but it’s an old one now

ONE. New towels for the old ceremony

TWO. Last night a Strategic HR Initiative saved my life

THREE. Return of the grievous bowls players

FOUR. There were three fine English boys

FIVE. These deeply, deeply unfashionable shoes are made for walking

SIX. I am a lineman for the county, on sabbatical

SEVEN. Working on a coop gang

EIGHT. Got measure, in pocket

NINE. Dust reign o’er me

TEN. The great gig in the hall

ELEVEN. I’m in love with my bookcase

TWELVE. Everybody’s got something to hide except me and my cleaner

THIRTEEN. The lonesome life of Harry Leon

FOURTEEN. Total eclipse of the heart

FIFTEEN. 2 4 6 8 power play

SIXTEEN. Living in a piano paradise

SEVENTEEN. Short Tony’s 115th dream

EIGHTEEN. Exit music (for a chicken)

NINETEEN. A little man and a house and a hole for a window

TWENTY. Who draws the crowd and plays so loud, baby it’s the guitar man

TWENTY-ONE. Look what they’ve done to my sink, ma

TWENTY-TWO. I get sales talk from sales assistants when all I want to do girl is lower your resistance

TWENTY-THREE. 101,374,539th nervous breakdown

TWENTY-FOUR. Tryin’ to keep it real, compared to what

TWENTY-FIVE. There she goes, my beautiful wood

TWENTY-SIX. I am gonna talk about doubts and confusion

EPILOGUE. Who knows where the time goes?

Notes and acknowledgements

About the Author

Copyright

About the Publisher

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How I swapped my rock dreams for village greens

Title Page

.....

It’s time to start playing again.

That’s why I’m here.

.....

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