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Anna Sam. Checkout
CHECKOUT. A LIFE ON THE TILLS
Contents
My name is Anna
WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF RETAIL – AND YOUR DREAM JOB
THE TOP 3 QUESTIONS ASKED AT THE TILL
The most urgent question: ‘Where are the toilets?’
The most aggressive question: ‘Don’t you have any bags?’
The most annoying question: ‘Are you open?’
AN HAUTE COUTURE FASHION SHOW
The glamorous uniform
The grandma uniform
The farmer’s wife
The clown costume
The cheap uniform
CASHING UP: THE SEARCH FOR THE MISSING COIN
15 minutes later
10 minutes later
THE JOB INTERVIEW
YOURS STATISTICALLY
‘HANG ON A MINUTE, I’M AT THE CHECKOUT!’
ENTERTAINING THE SUPERMARKET
I’VE SAVED A PLACE
Tactic 1
Tactic 2
Tactic 3
Tactic 4
KISSING COUPLES
‘EMBARRASSING’ ITEMS
Loo roll
Sanitary towels
Condoms (my favourite ‘embarrassing’ item)
Erotic films
I’M HUNGRY!
MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE – A VERITABLE GOLD MINE!
THE WONDERFUL LOYALTY CARD IN ALL ITS COMPLICATED SIMPLICITY
CLOSING TIME AND OPENING TIME – WHAT FUN!
WHAT A COMEDIAN
A HEALTHY MIND IN A HEALTHY BODY
Lose weight
Work those biceps
Do you dream of having beautiful buns?
Get firmer breasts!
Develop your immune system
Learn to put your make-up on
Give your brain a break
SIT DOWN IF YOU CAN
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL
The smooth talker
The arguing couple
The secreter
The outraged customer
The athlete
The bar-code switcher
Out of sight, out of mind
I’M THE BOSS!
The efficient boss
The eternally dissatisfied boss
The God boss
The boss who wants everyone to smile
YOUR CONVEYOR BELT: FRIEND OR FOE?
HOW TO HIDE YOUR FORTUNE
I’M PAYING
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
CHECKOUT GIRLS: THE FAIRER SEX
‘YOUR TILL IS ON A BREAK’
DO YOU HAVE 10 ITEMS OR LESS?
10 = 20
10 = 11
10 = nobody
10 = 5 × 10
10 = 10 × 10
10 = come on!
PRIORITY? DID YOU SAY PRIORITY?
CAN I SEE SOME ID PLEASE?
BLESS YOU!
£19.99 PLEASE!
MY TILL, MY LOVE
On the customer service desk
On the credit desk
In the Office
At the culture and/or multimedia centre
GAME OVER
DID YOU SAY BAR CODES?
STRANGELY STICKY
DRUNK CUSTOMERS
THERE WILL BE BLOOD!
J’ACCUSE
CAN YOU GO TO THE NEXT TILL PLEASE?
WILL IT SCAN OR WON’T IT? THE SIX STEPS FOR GETTING PRICES
ROLL UP, ROLL UP: IT’S SALE TIME
THE WEEKEND SHOW
THE BIG CHRISTMAS RUSH
COUNTDOWN
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
MURDER ON THE EIFFEL TOWER
THE PÈRE-LACHAISE MYSTERY
THE MONTMARTRE INVESTIGATION
CHECKOUT A LIFE ON THE TILLS
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