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Anonymous. Irish Wit and Humor
Irish Wit and Humor
Table of Contents
DEAN SWIFT
HIS BIRTH
SINGULAR EVENT
A CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE
GRACE AFTER DINNER
THE THREE CROSSES
TO THE LANDLORD
CHIEF JUSTICE WHITSHED
CHIEF JUSTICE WHITSHED'S MOTTO ON HIS COACH
ON THE SAME UPRIGHT CHIEF JUSTICE WHITSHED
TO QUILCA
MR. PULTENEY
RESOLUTIONS WHEN I COME TO BE OLD
MISS BENNET
THE FEAST OF O'ROURKE
SWIFT'S BEHAVIOR AT TABLE
COUNTESS OF BURLINGTON
SWIFT'S POLITICAL PRINCIPLES
SWIFT'S CHARITY
PUBLIC ABSURDITIES IN IRELAND
SWIFT'S PECULIARITY OF HUMOR
DR. BOLTON
THE SCRIBLERUS CLUB
THE UPSTART
MEDITATION UPON A BROOMSTICK
COSSING A DOG
TRADE OF IRELAND
A BEGGAR'S WEDDING
THE PIES
SHORT CHARITY SERMON
A COURTIER'S RETORT
LYING
DR. SACHEVERELL
TAXING THE AIR
WISDOM
EPITAPH ON JUDGE BOAT
ON STEPHEN DUCK, THE THRESHER AND FAVORITE POET
DIALOGUE BETWEEN SWIFT AND HIS LANDLORD
ROGER COX
ROGER AND THE POULTRY
KELLY THE BLACKSMITH
BIRTH-DAY PRESENTS
TO DR. SWIFT, WITH A PAPER BOOK, BY JOHN, EARL OF ORRERY
VERSES LEFT WITH A SILVER STANDISH ON THE. DEAN'S DESK, BY DR. DELANY
VERSES BY SWIFT, ON THE OCCASION
THE DEAN'S CONTRIBUTORY DINNER
SWIFT AND BETTESWORTH
SWIFT AMONG THE LAWYERS
PREACHING PATRIOTISM
SWIFT AND HIS BUTLER
HIS SATURNALIA
THE DEAN AND FAULKNER
SWIFT, ARBUTHNOT, AND PARNELL
DEAN SWIFT AND THE PREACHER WHO STOLE HIS SERMON
SWIFT'S QUEER TESTIMONIAL TO HIS SERVANT
SWIFT AT THOMASTOWN
SWIFT'S LAST LINES
JOHN PHILPOT CURRAN
HIS BIRTH
CURRAN AS PUNCH'S MAN
CURRAN AT A DEBATING SOCIETY
CURRAN AND THE BANKER
HIS DUEL WITH ST. LEGER
THE MONKS OF THE SCREW
LORD AVONMORE
HIS FIRST CLIENT
CURRAN AND THE INFORMER
LORD CLARE
CURRAN'S ELOQUENCE
SCENE BETWEEN FITZGIBBON AND CURRAN IN THE IRISH PARLIAMENT
HIS DEFENCE OF ARCHIBALD HAMILTON ROWAN
ENCOUNTER WITH A FISHWOMAN
CURRAN AND LORD ERSKINE
HIS DUEL WITH BULLY EGAN
MASSY VERSUS HEADFORT
THE SERENADING LOVER
EMPLOYMENT OF INFORMERS
CURRAN AND THE FARMER
CURRAN AND THE JUDGE
CURRAN'S QUARREL WITH FITZGIBBON
HIGH AUTHORITY
USE OF RED TAPE
CURRAN AND THE MASTIFF
ARTHUR O'LEARY
HIS CONTROVERSY WITH AN INFIDEL
HIS INTERVIEW WITH DR. MANN
CONTROVERSY WITH JOHN WESLEY
MEETING OF O'LEARY AND WESLEY
DR. O'LEARY AND FATHER CALLANAN
O'LEARY AND THE QUAKERS
HIS RECEPTION AT THE ROTUNDO BY THE VOLUNTEERS
O'LEARY AND JOHN O'KEEFE
O'LEARY AND THE IRISH PARLIAMENT
HIS INTERVIEW WITH DANIEL DANSER
A FOP
HIS PERSON AND MODE OF ARGUMENT
O'LEARY AND "CAPTAIN ROCK."
LOTS DRAWN TO HAVE HIM AT DINNER
O'LEARY AND THE RECTOR
LADY MORGAN
A BATCH OF INTERESTING ANECDOTES
A DOG'S RELIGION
HOWARD, THE PHILANTHROPIST, AND MR. HENRY SHEARS
HIS HABITS OF STUDY—HIS INFLUENCE
EDMOND BURKE
HIS CHARITY
O'LEARY VERSUS CURRAN
HIS TRIUMPH OVER DR. JOHNSON
A NOLLE PROSEQUI
THE PRINCE OF WALES
THE CLOSING SCENES OF HIS LIFE
DANIEL O'CONNELL
DARBY MORAN
A DEAD MAN WITH LIFE IN HIM
A YOUNG JUDGE DONE
O'CONNELL AND A SNARLING ATTORNEY
HIS ENCOUNTER WITH BIDDY MORIARTY
O'CONNELL AND A BILKING CLIENT
SOW-WEST AND THE WIGS
ELECTION AND RAILWAY DINNERS
SCENE AT KILLINEY
AN INSOLENT JUDGE
A WITNESS CAJOLED
HIS DUEL WITH CAPTAIN D'ESTERRE
O'CONNELL AND SECRETARY GOULBURN
ENTRAPPING A WITNESS
GAINING OVER A JURY
PADDY AND THE PARSON
A MARTIAL JUDGE
RETENTIVE MEMORY
A POLITICAL HURRAH AT A FUNERAL
REFUSAL OF OFFICE
A MISTAKEN FRENCHMAN
EPISTOLARY BORES
SIR R. PEEL'S OPINION OF O'CONNELL
FOOTNOTES:
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Anonymous
Anecdote Biography of Swift, Curran, O'Leary and O'Connell
.....
Mr. Gore had heard so much of Swift's peculiar manners that he was determined he should have his way in every thing; but was resolved, however, that he should be entertained in the old Irish style of hospitality, which Mr. Gore always kept up to such a degree, that his house might be called a public inn without sign. The best pipers and harpers were collected from every quarter, as well as the first singers, for music is an essential ingredient in every Irish feast. The Dean was pleased with many of the Irish airs, but was peculiarly struck with the Feast of O'Rourke, which was played by Jeremy Dignum, the Irish Timotheus, who swept the lyre with flying fingers, when he was told that in the judgment of the Dean, he carried off the spolia opima from all the rest of the musical circle. The words of the air were afterwards sung by a young man with so much taste and execution, that the Dean expressed a desire to have them translated into English. Dr. Gore told him that the author, a Mr. Macgowran, lived at a little distance, and that he would be proud to furnish a literal translation of his own composition either in Latin or English, for he was well skilled in both languages. Mr. Gore accordingly sent for the bard, the Laureate of the Plains, as he called himself, who came immediately. "I am very well pleased," said the Dean, "with your composition. The words seem to be what my friend Pope calls 'an echo to the sense.'" "I am pleased and proud," answered Macgowran, "that it has afforded you any amusement: and when you, Sir," addressing himself to the Dean, "put all the strings of the Irish harp in tune, it will yield your Reverence a double pleasure, and perhaps put me out of my senses with joy." Macgowran, in a short time, presented the Dean with a literal translation, for which he rewarded him very liberally, and recommended him to the protection of Mr. Gore, who behaved with great kindness to him as long as he lived. To this incident we are indebted for the translation of a song or poem, which may be called a true picture of an Irish feast, where every one was welcome to eat what he pleased, to drink what he pleased, to say what he pleased, to sing what he pleased, to fight when he pleased, to sleep when he pleased, and to dream what he pleased; where all was native—their dress the produce of their own shuttle—their cups and tables the growth of their own woods—their whiskey warm from the still and faithful to its fires! The Dean, however, did not translate the whole of the poem; the remaining stanzas were translated some years since by Mr. Wilson, as follow:—
Who rais'd this alarm?
.....
