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LYSISTRATA, CALONICE, MYRRHINA, LAMPITO

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LYS.– At si quis in ædem Bacchi vocasset eas, aut Panos, aut Coliadis, aut Genetyllidis,1 ne transire quidem liceret præ multitudine tympanorum: nunc autem nulla adest hic mulier. Verumtamen hæc vicina mea foras exit. Salve, ô Calonice.

CAL.– Et tu mecastor salve, Lysistrata. Sed quid conturbata es? exporge frontem, carissima: non enim te decent contracta supercilia.

LYS.– Sed, ô Calonice, uritur mihi cor, et valde me piget sexus nostri, quoniam viri existimant2 nos esse nequam.

CAL.– Quippe tales pol sumus.

LYS.– Quumque edictum illis fuerit huc convenire, deliberaturis de re non levi, dormiunt, nec veniunt.

CAL.– Sed, ô carissima, venient. Mulieribus domo prodire non ita facile est. Alia enim marito operam dat: alia famulum excitat: alia puerum in lecto collocat, alia lavat, alia cibo in os indito placat.

LYS.– Sed erant magis necessaria curanda ipsis.

CAL.– Quid autem est, mea Lysistrata, cur nos mulieres convocas? Quænam illa res est aut quanta?

LYS.– Magna.3

CAL.– Num etiam crassa?

LYS.– Ita me servet Jupiter, crassa.

CAL.– Quî fit ergo, ut non veniamus?

LYS.– Nihil tale est: cito enim convenissemus. Sed est quiddam a me quæsitum, multis vigiliis in omnes partes versatum.

CAL.– Mirabor, ni subtile quid sit versatum istud in omnes partes.

LYS.– Adeo subtile, ut universæ Græciæ salus sita sit in mulieribus.

CAL.– In mulieribus? Parum ergo abest, quin nulla sit.

LYS.– Ita ut arbitri nostri sit, salvam esse rempublicam, aut nullos superesse, nec Peloponnesios —

CAL.– Nullos superesse edepol optimum4 est.

LYS.– Bœotiosque omnes perire funditus.

CAL.– Non omnes, quæso; sed anguillas excipe.5

LYS.– De Athenis autem nil tale ominabor: tu ipsa conjecturam facias.6 Si vero convenerint huc mulieres ex Bœotia simul et Peloponneso, nosque Atticæ, communiter servabimus Græciam.

CAL.– Sed quid possent mulieres prudenter agere et præclare? nosne, quæ sedemus pigmentis nitentes, ornamentis excultæ, crocotas gestantes, et Cimbericas rectas, et peribaridas?

LYS.– Immo enimvero hæc ipsa sunt, a quibus salutem spero; crocotulæ, et unguenta, et peribarides, et anchusa, et pellucidæ tunicæ.

CAL.– Quo tandem modo?

LYS.– Ita ut illorum, qui nunc vivunt, virorum contra alium hastam nemo tollat.

CAL.– Crocotam ergo, ita me Ceres amet et Proserpina, mihi tingendam curabo.

LYS.– Nec clypeum sumat.

CAL.– Cimbericam induam.

LYS.– Nec gladiolum.

CAL.– Peribaridas emam.

LYS.– Annon ergo adesse mulieres oportebat?

CAL.– Quin pol volando venisse oportuit dudum.

LYS.– Sed, pro dolor! videbis eas esse nimis Atticas, dum omnia faciunt justo tardius.7 At nec ex maritimis ulla mulier adest, nec ex Salamine.8

CAL.– Sed has scio in celocibus trajecisse matutinas.

LYS.– Nec, quas sperabam et confidebam ego primas hic adfore, Acharnenses mulieres veniunt.9

CAL.– Attamen Theagenis uxor,10 tanquam horsum venire cupiens Hecatæ simulacrum consuluit. Sed ecce accedunt quædam: item aliæ etiam. Hem, hem! undenam sunt?

LYS.– Ex Anagyro.

CAL.– Edepol ut dicis. Anagyrus11 ergo mihi videtur commotus.

MYRR.– Num tardius advenimus, ô Lysistrata? quid ais? cur taces?

LYS.– Non laudo, Myrrhina, modo advenientem in re tanta.

MYRR.– Vix enim in tenebris cingulum inveni, sed, si res urget, fare præsentibus nobis.

LYS.– Immo potius opperiamur paulisper, dum Bœotiæ et Peloponnesiæ mulieres veniant.

MYRR.– Multo tu rectius dicis: et ecce jam hæc Lampito accedit.

LYS.– O carissima Lacæna, salve Lampito. Quam formosa videris, ô dulcissima! quam pulchro colore, quam vegeto es corpore! vel taurum strangulare possis.

LAMP.– Næ istuc ecastor credo, siquidem corpus exerceo, et subsultans pede podicem ferio.12

LYS.– Quam bellas habes papillas!13

LAMP.– Tanquam victimam pertractatis me.14

LYS.– Hæc autem adolescentula altera, cujas est?

LAMP.– Primaria ecastor femina Bœotia venit ad vos.

LYS.– Pol Bœotia est, pulchrumque habens campum.

CAL.– Et pol mundum, vulso pulegio.15

LYS.– Quænam vero est illa altera puella?

LAMP.– Bona quidem ecastor, sed Corinthia.

LYS.– Bona edepol videtur, ut illic esse solent.16

LAMP.– Jam vero quis congregavit mulierum hunc cœtum?

LYS.– Ipsa ego.

LAMP.– Dic igitur nobis, quid velis.

LYS.– Ita sane, carissima.

MYRR.– Dic tandem quodnam sit serium illud negotium.

LYS.– Jam dicam. Sed priusquam dicam, vos hoc interrogabo pauxillum quidpiam.

MYRR.– Quidquid voles.

LYS.– Liberorum vestrorum patres nonne desideratis absentes in milita? Sat enim scio unicuique vostrûm peregre abesse virum.

CAL.– Meus quidem vir jam quinque menses, ô miser, abest in Thracia observans Eucratem.17

LYS.– Meus vero totos sex menses ad Pylum.18

LAMP.– Meus autem, si quando ab exercitu redeat, mox adnexo sibi clypeo evolat.

LYS.– Sed nec mœchi relicta est scintilla. Ex quo enim nos prodiderunt Milesii, ne olisbum quidem vidi octo digitos longum, qui nobis esset coriaceum auxilium. Velletisne ergo, si quam ego fabricam invenero, bello mecum finem imponere?

MYRR.– Per Deas juro me velle, si me oporteat vel encyclum hocce opponere pignori, sumtamque pecuniam hoc ipso die ebibere.19

CAL.– Ego vero mihi videor vel rhombi instar meipsam dissectura, et dimidium mei datura.

LAMP.– Ego vero vel ad Taygetum20 ascenderem, si ibi Pacem sim visura.

LYS.– Dicam ergo; siquidem res celanda non est. Nobis enim, ô mulieres, si volumus cogere viros ad colendam pacem, abstinendum est —

MYRR.– Quo? dic.

LYS.– Facietisne ergo?

MYRR.– Faciemus, si vel nos mori oporteat.

LYS.– Abstinendum igitur nobis est a pene. Quid mihi aversamini? quorsum itis? Vos inquam, cur labra distorquetis, et renuitis? cur color mutatur? cur lacrima fluit? facietisne, an non facietis? aut quid cogitatis?

MYRR.– Non fecerim, sed bellum serpat.

CAL.– Nec edepol ego, sed bellum serpat.

LYS.– Hoccine dicis tu, rhombe? atqui modo aiebas te vel dimidium tui abscissuram.

CAL.– Aliud, aliud quidquid voles. Vel per ignem, si oporteat, incedere volo. Hoc potius, quam quod de pene dicebas, ad quem nihil est quod compares, ô cara Lysistrata.

LYS.– Tu vero, quid?

LAMP.– Et ego volo per ignem.

LYS.– O libidinosum sexum omnem nostrum! non temere est, quod de nobis fiunt Tragœdiæ: nihil enim sumus, nisi Neptunus et scapha21. Sed, ô cara Lacæna (tu enim si fueris sola mecum, perditam22 rem adhuc restituere poterimus) adsentire mihi.

LAMP.– Per ecastor23 difficile est feminas dormire solas sine mentula. Hoc tamen perpeti oportet: nam pacem fieri oportet maxime.

LYS.– O carissima et sola harum femina.

MYRR.– Si autem, quod absit, quam maxime abstineamus a quo tu dicis, magisne eapropter fiet pax?

LYS.– Multo magis, ita me ament Divæ. Si enim domi sederemus pigmentis oblitæ et in amorginis24 subucilis nudæ insederemus glabro cunno, arrigerent viri, et coire cuperent: nos autem si non accederemus, at nos contineremus, sat scio mox pacem eos facturos.

LAMP.– Sane Menelaus olim conspectis, ut puto, Helenæ nudis papillis, ensem abjecit.

MYRR.– Quid vero, ô misella, si nos omiserint viri?

LYS.– Tum istud Pherecratis adhibe, Canem excoriatum excoriare.25

MYRR.– Nugæ sunt ista simulacra. Si vero comprehensas in cubiculum vi traxerint nos?

LYS.– Renitere apprehensis foribus.

MYRR.– At si verberent?

LYS.– Tum præbe, sed maligne. Nulla enim his inest voluptas, si per vim fiant. Aliisque modis molestia eos afficere oportet. Nec dubites, quin ocius defatigentur: nunquam enim ex eo voluptatem vir capiet, ni mulieri simul jucundum sit.

MYRR.– Si vobis hoc videtur, nobis itidem videtur.

LAMP.– Et nos quidem nostris viris persuadebimus, ut ubique sine dolo malo pacem colant. Sed Atheniensium colluviem quomodo quis adducere possit, ut ne rursus delicias faciat?

LYS.– Ne sis sollicita: nos, quod in nobis erit, nostratibus persuadebimus.

LAMP.– Nequicquam, quamdiu in triremes conferentur studia, et in Divæ æde adservabitur immensa illa pecuniæ vis.

LYS.– Sed et hoc etiam bene provisum et præcautum est: occupabimus enim arcem hodie. Nam provectioribus ætate mulieribus hoc mandatum est negotium, ut, dum nos hæc constituimus, sub specie sacrificandi occupent arcem.

LAMP.– Omnino fieri possit: etenim sic bene autumas.

LYS.– Cur ergo non hæc quamprimum, ô Lampito, jurejurando confirmamus, ut irrupta sint?

LAMP.– Jusjurandum modo concipito, ut juremus.

LYS.– Recte autumas. Ubi est Scythæna?26 quo spectas? Pone in conspectu clypeum supinum: et mihi det hostias aliquis.

MYRR.– Lysistrata, quo sacramento nos adstringes?

LYS.– Quonam? In clypeum, ut Æschylum aiunt fecisse quondam, ove mactata —27

MYRR.– Ne, quæso, mea Lysistrata, juraveris in clypeum quicquam super pace.

LYS.– Quodnam erit ergo jusjurandum?

MYRR.– Si sumtum alicunde album equum immolemus, et super eo juremus.

LYS.– Quorsum album equum?

MYRR.– Sed quomodo jurabimus nos?

LYS.– Edepol tibi dicam, si velis. Collocato supino grandi calice nigro, in eum immolemus Thasii28 vini urceum, et juremus aquam29 in calicem nos non infusuras.

LAMP.– Dii boni, quale juramentum! dicere nequeam quantum illum probem. Intus efferat aliquis foras calicem et urceum.

LYS.– O carissimæ mulieres, quanta vis fictilium! hoc sumto calice statim quis hilarabitur: eum depone, et hostiam mihi prehende. O Suada domina, et amicitiæ phiala, propitia mulieribus accipe hæc sacra.

MYRR.– Boni coloris est sanguis et pulchre profluit.

LAMP.– Quin etiam, ita me Castor amet, suave olet.

LYS.– Sinite primam me, ô mulieres, jurare.

MYRR.– Non, per Venerem; nisi sortita fueris.

LYS.– Prehendite omnes calicem, ô Lampito, dicatque pro vobis una, quæcunque ego dixero; vos vero in eadem jurabitis et rata habebitis: Nec adulter, nec vir ullus est —

MYRR.Nec adulter, nec vir ullus est.

LYS.Qui ad me accedet rigente nervo. Dic.

MYRR.Qui ad me accedet rigente nervo. Papæ! labant genua mea, o Lysistrata.

LYS.Domi casta degam ætatem —

MYRR.Domi casta degam ætatem.

LYS.Crocotam gestans et comta —

MYRR.Crocotam gestans et comta.

LYS.Ut meus vir quam maxime incendatur —

MYRR.Ut meus vir quam maxime incendatur.

LYS.Nec unquam sponte viro meo morem geram —

MYRR.Nec unquam sponte viro meo morem geram.

LYS.Si vero me invitam vi cogat —

MYRR.Si vero me invitam vi cogat.

LYS.Maligne ei præbebo et motus non addam.

MYRR.Maligne ei præbebo et motus non addam.

LYS.Non tollam calceos sursum ad lacunar.

MYRR.Non tollam calceos sursum ad lacunar.

LYS.Non conquiniscam instar leœnæ in cultri manubrio.

MYRR.Non conquiniscam instar leœnæ in cultri manubrio.

LYS.Hæc si rata habeam, liceat mihi hinc bibere.

MYRR.Hæc si rata habeam, liceat mihi, hinc bibere.

LYS.Si vero transgrediar, aqua impleatur calix.

MYRR.Si vero transgrediar, aqua impleatur calix.

LYS.– Vosne omnes jurejurando hæc firmatis?

CAL.– Ita, per Jovem.

LYS.– Age, ego sacrificabo hanc hostiam.

MYRR.– Partem modo, ô cara, ut statim ab initio amicæ inter nos simus.

LAMP.– Quis ille clamor?

LYS.– Hoc illud est, quod dicebam. Nam mulieres arcem Deæ jam occuparunt. Sed, ô Lampito, tu quidem abi, et res vestras compone: has autem relinque nobis hîc obsides. Nos vero cum ceteris, quæ sunt in arce, mulieribus, una occludamus ingressæ ostium repagulis.

MYRR.– Nonne putatis contra nos suppetias venturos mox viros?

LYS.– Flocci eos non facio.30 Non enim tantas minas, nec tantum ignem ferentes venient, ut claustra hæc reserare possint, nisi ea, qua diximus, conditione.

MYRR.– Nunquam certe, ita me Venus amet. Frustra enim nos mulieres vocaremur invictæ et scelestæ.

1

At Athens more than anywhere the festivals of Bacchus (Dionysus) were celebrated with the utmost pomp – and also with the utmost licence, not to say licentiousness.

2

Leipzig: "existumant"

3

An obscene double entendre; Calonicé understands, or pretends to understand, Lysistrata as meaning a long and thick "membrum virile"!

4

Leipzig: "optumum"

5

The eels from Lake Copaïs in Boeotia were esteemed highly by epicures.

6

Leipzig: "De Athenis autem nil tale ominabor: aliud te suspicari velim.

7

This is the reproach Demosthenes constantly levelled against his Athenian fellow-countrymen – their failure to seize opportunity.

8

An island of the Saronic Gulf, lying between Magara and Attica. It was separated by a narrow strait – scene of the naval battle of Salamis, in which the Athenians defeated Xerxes – only from the Attic coast, and was subject to Athens.

9

A deme, or township, of Attica, lying five or six miles north of Athens. The Acharnians were throughout the most extreme partisans of the warlike party during the Peloponnesian struggle. See 'The Acharnians.'

10

The precise reference is uncertain, and where the joke exactly comes in. The Scholiast says Theagenes was a rich, miserly and superstitious citizen, who never undertook any enterprise without first consulting an image of Hecaté, the distributor of honour and wealth according to popular belief; and his wife would naturally follow her husband's example.

11

A deme of Attica, a small and insignificant community – a 'Little Pedlington' in fact.

12

In allusion to the gymnastic training which was de rigueur at Sparta for the women no less than the men, and in particular to the dance of the Lacedaemonian girls, in which the performer was expected to kick the fundament with the heels – always a standing joke among the Athenians against their rivals and enemies the Spartans.

13

Missing in Leipzig-ed.

14

Missing in Leipzig-ed.

15

The allusion, of course, is to the 'garden of love,' the female parts, which it was the custom with the Greek women, as it is with the ladies of the harem in Turkey to this day, to depilate scrupulously, with the idea of making themselves more attractive to men.

16

Corinth was notorious in the Ancient world for its prostitutes and general dissoluteness.

17

An Athenian general strongly suspected of treachery; Aristophanes pretends his own soldiers have to see that he does not desert to the enemy.

18

A town and fortress on the west coast of Messenia, south-east part of Peloponnese, at the northern extremity of the bay of Sphacteria – the scene by the by of the modern naval battle of Navarino – in Lacedaemonian territory; it had been seized by the Athenian fleet, and was still in their possession at the date, 412 B.C., of the representation of the 'Lysistrata,' though two years later, in the twenty-second year of the War, it was recovered by Sparta.

19

The Athenian women, rightly or wrongly, had the reputation of being over fond of wine. Aristophanes, here and elsewhere, makes many jests on this weakness of theirs.

20

The lofty range of hills overlooking Sparta from the west.

21

In the original "we are nothing but Poseidon and a boat"; the allusion is to a play of Sophocles, now lost, but familiar to Aristophanes' audience, entitled 'Tyro,' in which the heroine, Tyro, appears with Poseidon, the sea-god, at the beginning of the tragedy, and at the close with the two boys she had had by him, whom she exposes in an open boat.

22

Typo in Oxford: "perpitam". Leipzig has "perditam".

23

"By the two goddesses," – a woman's oath, which recurs constantly in this play; the two goddesses are always Demeter and Proserpine.

24

One of the Cyclades, between Naxos and Cos, celebrated, like the latter, for its manufacture of fine, almost transparent silks, worn in Greece, and later at Rome, by women of loose character.

25

The proverb, quoted by Pherecrates, is properly spoken of those who go out of their way to do a thing already done – "to kill a dead horse," but here apparently is twisted by Aristophanes into an allusion to the leathern 'godemiche' mentioned a little above; if the worst comes to the worst, we must use artificial means. Pherecrates was a comic playwright, a contemporary of Aristophanes.

26

Literally "our Scythian woman." At Athens, policemen and ushers in the courts were generally Scythians; so the revolting women must have their Scythian "Usheress" too.

27

In allusion to the oath which the seven allied champions before Thebes take upon a buckler, in Aeschylus' tragedy of 'The Seven against Thebes,' v. 42.

28

A volcanic island in the northern part of the Aegaean, celebrated for its vineyards.

29

Leipzig: "et iuremus in calicem nos non infusuras."

30

Leizpig: "Flocci eos facio."

Aristophanis Lysistrata

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