A Holiday in Bed, and Other Sketches

Оглавление

Barrie James Matthew. A Holiday in Bed, and Other Sketches

JAMES MATTHEW BARRIE

A HOLIDAY IN BED

LIFE IN A COUNTRY MANSE

LIFE IN A COUNTRY MANSE. A WEDDING IN A SMIDDY

A POWERFUL DRUG (NO HOUSEHOLD SHOULD BE WITHOUT IT.)

EVERY MAN HIS OWN DOCTOR

GRETNA GREEN REVISITED

MY FAVORITE AUTHORESS

THE CAPTAIN OF THE SCHOOL

THOUGHTFUL BOYS MAKE THOUGHTFUL MEN

IT

TO THE INFLUENZA

FOUR-IN-HAND NOVELISTS

RULES FOR CARVING

ON RUNNING AFTER A HAT

Отрывок из книги

Now is the time for a real holiday. Take it in bed, if you are wise.

People have tried a holiday in bed before now, and found it a failure, but that was because they were ignorant of the rules. They went to bed with the open intention of staying there, say, three days, and found to their surprise that each morning they wanted to get up. This was a novel experience to them, they flung about restlessly, and probably shortened their holiday. The proper thing is to take your holiday in bed with a vague intention of getting up in another quarter of an hour. The real pleasure of lying in bed after you are awake is largely due to the feeling that you ought to get up. To take another quarter of an hour then becomes a luxury. You are, in short, in the position of the man who dined on larks. Had he seen the hundreds that were ready for him, all set out on one monster dish, they would have turned his stomach; but getting them two at a time, he went on eating till all the larks were exhausted. His feeling of uncertainty as to whether these might not be his last two larks is your feeling that, perhaps, you will have to get up in a quarter of an hour. Deceive yourself in this way, and your holiday in bed will pass only too quickly.

.....

People who pretend (for it must be pretence) that they enjoy their holiday in the country, explain that the hills or the sea gave them such an appetite. I could never myself feel the delight of being able to manage an extra herring for breakfast, but it should be pointed out that neither mountains nor oceans give you such an appetite as a holiday in bed. What makes people eat more anywhere is that they have nothing else to do, and in bed you have lots of time for meals. As for the quality of the food supplied, there is no comparison. In the Highlands it is ham and eggs all day till you sicken. At the seaside it is fish till the bones stick in your mouth. But in bed – oh, there you get something worth eating. You don't take three big meals a day, but twelve little ones, and each time it is something different from the last. There are delicacies for breakfast, for your four luncheons and your five dinners. You explain to your wife that you have lost your appetite, and she believes you, but at the same time she has the sense to hurry on your dinner. At the clatter of dishes (for which you have been lying listening) you raise your poor head, and say faintly:

"Really, Marion, I can't touch food."

.....