Life in the Fast Lane: The Johnson Guide to Cars

Life in the Fast Lane: The Johnson Guide to Cars
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He comes, he sees, he plays with the gadgets…Boris Johnson has been behind the wheel of some of the world’s fastest, most luxurious cars. He’s taken the Jaguar XKR-R for a spin around a posh public school; roared through Islington in the AC Cobra V8; and spent a weekend tearing through the lanes of Sussex in the splendour of the Mercedes S55 AMG. Now he’s going to reveal exactly what it was like.Pondering the fundamental questions – What does it feel like to be overtaken by a female driver when you’re behind the wheel of an Alfa Romeo? Can a car really precipitate a mid-life crisis? – Boris Johnson’s hilarious dispatches from life in the fast lane will appeal to anyone who’s found themselves behind the wheel of one of modern motoring’s finer specimens. But it’s not all glamour and gadgets. Because when he’s not baiting his Holloway neighbours with the Rolls Royce Corniche, we see Boris trying, and failing, to get to grips with the Smart car, and attempting to flee Kosovo in a Fiat Uno.Published together for the first time as a Paperback Original, these hilarious vignettes are vintage Boris: witty, candid and unique.

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Boris Johnson. Life in the Fast Lane: The Johnson Guide to Cars

LIFE IN THE FAST LANE

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

ROMEO IS SPEEDING

INHUMAN TRAFFIC

DUDE TALKS LIKE A LADY

LITTLE AND LARGE

ALL ABOARD THE SKYLINE

BENTLEY DOES IT

HOME IN THE RANGE

GERMANIC STREET CREATURES

DRIVING BACK FROM THE ABYSS

MG À TROIS

BRAND OF HOPE AND GLORY

EXTRA STRONG TINTS

SUSHI QUATTRO

I CAME, I SAW, I PLAYED WITH THE GADGETS

THRUSTING FOR THE HUSTINGS

ROOFLESS CAPITALISM

AMERICAN BOOTIES

REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS FAST

BORIS AND THE SEX BOMB

BAVARIAN RHAPSODY

‘I’M OUT OF PETROL!’

FOR THE EMPEROR!

ANY COLOUR YOU LIKE AS LONG AS IT’S BLUE

RELIGIOUS CONVERT (IBLE)

THE LANCASHIRE LAMBORGHINI

THE IRON-ON LADY

THE REST IS HISTORY

ALAS, POOR REYNARD…

CHILD’S PLAY

LINES WRITTEN FROM A MORGAN AERO 8

EMISSION STATEMENT

PORSCHE POWER

GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY

THE SLEEPING POLICEMAN’S NEMESIS

MIND CONTROL

NOBLE SAVAGE

CONTINENTAL DIVIDE

WEIRD SCIENCE

YOU CAN WITH THIS NISSAN

ACCELERATED LEARNING

MIND OVER MOTOR

LOTUS POSITION

PIQUE PERFORMANCE

COUPÉ D’ÉTAT

NIGHT RIDER

RAFT OF OPTIONS

NUMBER OF THE BEAST

PAPER CHASE

ROAD WARRIOR

CITY SLICKER

FANCY A SPIN

GOING MOBILE

MOTORISTS, REVOLT: ME, I’M ON MY BIKE

GOING MY WAY?

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

About the Author

Also by Boris Johnson

PICTURE CREDITS

Copyrights

About the Publisher

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BORIS JOHNSON

Alfa Romeo 156 Selespeed

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How did Herbert Hoover win the 1928 presidential election? With what vision did he inspire and enthuse the American electorate? He promised a ‘chicken in every pot—and a car in every garage, to boot’.

And what was it, 60 years later, that finally brought down communism? It was a car. It wasn’t just that the Ossies drove their Trabants round the Berlin Wall and through Hungary in such an unstoppable tide that in 1990 the East German state collapsed. The Trabant was not merely the instrument of revolution; it incarnated the point and necessity of the revolution.

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