Group Work for Men In Sexual Recovery: A Strategic Model for Sex Addicts

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Carol Juergensen Sheets aka Carol the Coach. Group Work for Men In Sexual Recovery: A Strategic Model for Sex Addicts

+ Introduction +

Breaking the Chains of Isolation, Shame and Secrecy

The Value of Group Exercises

+ The Group Process +

Weekly Group Structure

Week 1 – Form Stage

Week 2 – Form and Norm Stages

Exercises:

Weeks 3-7 – Form and Norm Stages

Weeks 8-13 – Storm and Perform Stages. Anger Exercises

Sexual Abuse Exercises

Fear of Conflict Exercises

Trust Exercises

Accountability Exercises

Self-Esteem Exercises

Metaphor Exercises

Resistance Exercise

Dealing with Grief and Loss Using Psychodrama

The Infrastructure for Recovery

What Does a Healthy Recovery Plan Look Like?

Weeks 14-15 – Adjourn Stage

+ Week 1: Form Stage + Developing Group Cohesion

Exercise: "What is a Recovering Addict?"

Stress accountability and confidentiality

+ Week 2: Form and Norm Stages + Developing Group Cohesion & Establishing Group Rules and Expectations

Build Trust and Rapport through Appropriate Self-disclosure

Setting Structure, Safety, and Commitment

Check-in

Claiming Group Time

Establishing Rules and Expectations

Connecting Outside the Group

Accountability Commitment

Document Accountability

+ Men's Group Handout / Group Rules + Rules and Expectations

Agreements

Commitments

Guidelines for Communication

Confidentiality

Exercises that Break through Denial

The Secret Life of an Addict Exercise

The Defense Mechanism List Exercise

"How Have I Damaged My Life" Exercise

Reasons to Believe that I Have No Control

+ Weeks 3–7: Form and Norm Stages + Developing Cohesion

Guided Meditation to Establish Age Regression

Use of a Transitional Object to Anchor Men

How Did I Get Here? Creating an Autobiographical Timeline

Writing Out Your Trauma Histories

My Experience with Sex Exercise

The Sex Time Line

The Arousal Template

The Arousal Template: The Enemy

The Arousal Template Exercise

+ Weeks 8–13: Storm and Perform Stages + Conflict Management and Resolution, Emotion Regulation Work, Experiential and Process Work

Anger Exercises

Externalize The Sadness!

YES – NO: The Power Connection

Externalize the Energy

Homework and Integration

Additional Anger Exercises

Shredding Phone Books

Vesuvius: Externalization of Anger and Development of Personal Boundaries

Purpose of the Vesuvius

The Process

Sexual Abuse Exercises

The Letter

Script or Play

Fear of Conflict Exercises

The Clearing: Face-to-Face in the Circle

The "Teflon Technique"

Trust Exercises

I Trust You the Most

I Trust You the Least

Variation to the Trust You Most / Least Exercises

A Secret that You Don't Know about Me Is...

Cognitive Behavioral Exercises: The Chart Method

Self-Esteem

Create Your Strengths List

Begin The Journey of Self-Parenting

Metaphor Exercises

Creating a Visual Image of the Problem

Name the Metaphor

Draw the Metaphor and Its Future Template

A Full Plate or the Garbage Bag

The Gift

Resistance Exercises

The Wall

Dealing with Loss Using Psychodrama. The Funeral

Facing the Shadows Exercises

Dealing with the Loss. Reframing: Am I Giving Something Up or Gaining Something?

Proof that I HAD No Control Over this Illness

Getting Honest and Dealing with Fear: Increasing Your Sense of Integrity

Full Disclosure: The Debate Exercise

The Infrastructure of Recovery

Steps to Take to Keep Me from Slips and Relapses

Three Circles Exercise: To Enhance the Abstinence and Boundaries List

Cleaning Up the Clutter

Balancing Your Needs Exercise

Am I Using All My Resources?

What Does a Healthy Recovery Plan Look Like? Finding a Sponsor

Additional Action Steps

+ Weeks 14–15: Adjourn Stage + Separation/Closure from Existing Group & Future Goal Identification

Reflection/Evaluation of Individual Goals and Personal Growth

You Will Also Be Providing Clinical Recommendations For Each Individual

Reinforce the Need for Social Connection

Presupposition that Changes Have Occurred and Are Life-long

Closing Meditation

Provide Clinical Predictions / Paradox Regarding Possible Outcomes of Behavior

Encourage Connection during Two-week Interim

+ Final Thoughts from the Author +

Appendix A – Feeling Identification

Appendix B – The Art of Dealing with the Conflict without the Criticism

Appendix C – The Protective Coating of Teflon

Appendix D – Balancing Your Needs

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This 15-week group approach teaches men the skills to manage anger, conflict resolution, and assertiveness. Perhaps the greatest outcome of this work has been that addicts learn how to use empathy in the group which they then apply outside of group. It also gives them a chance to deal with pivotal family-of-origin issues that move them into progressive stages of change. These men demonstrate compassion and insight which is then modeled by other group members and then in outside relationships. Once the core issues have been addressed and processed, the men are free to practice the life skills that they have learned and to improve their sense of self-worth and their relationships. Understandably, we want group participants to understand how this addiction has taken total control of their lives, and how important it is to do the healing work to both manage the illness and to heal the wounded soul that may have been a part of the trauma that contributed to the desire to self medicate and that may have been caused by the addiction itself.

In this manual you will learn creative strategies and actual exercises that utilize many of the concepts from Dr. Patrick Carnes' "Thirty Task Recovery Model." The manual also uses anchoring, visualization, role playing psychodrama, re-scripting, reframing, and meditation, as well as Gestalt techniques. Additional techniques are drawn from narrative therapy, metaphor therapy, hypnotherapy, and art therapy.

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•The Letter

•Script or Play

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