Elbow-Room

Оглавление

Charles Heber Clark. Elbow-Room

Elbow-Room

Table of Contents

PREFACE

CHAPTER. I. THE ADVANTAGES OF ELBOW-ROOM. II. THE TERRIBLE MISHAP TO MR. FOGG'S BABY. III. INTERNAL NAVIGATION.—AN UNFORTUNATE INVENTOR. IV. THE FACTS IN REFERENCE TO MR. BUTTERWICK'S HORSE. V. SOME EDUCATIONAL FACTS. VI. THE EDITOR OF "THE PATRIOT" VII. HOW MR. BUTTERWICK PURSUED HORTICULTURE. VIII. THE MEETING, AND ITS MISSIONARY WORK. IX. JUDGE TWIDDLER'S COW. X. OUR CIVIL SERVICE. XI. FUNEREAL AND CONJUGAL. XII. A NEW MRS. TOODLES.—POTTS' ADVENTURES. XIII. THE RACES, AND SOME OTHER THINGS. XIV. RESPECTING CERTAIN SAVAGES. XV. LOVE, SUFFERING AND SUICIDE. XVI. MR. FOGG AS SPORTSMAN AND SPOUSE. XVII. HOW WE CONDUCT A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN. XVIII. THE MATUTINAL ROOSTER. XIX. AN UNRULY METER.—SCENES IN A SANCTUM. XX. HIGH ART. XXI. CERTAIN DENTAL EXPERIENCES.—AN UNFORTUNATE OFFICIAL. XXII. JUSTICE, AND A LITTLE INJUSTICE. XXIII. THE TRAMP WITH GENIUS AND WITHOUT IT. XXIV. THE DOG OF MR. BUTTERWICK'S, AND OTHER DOGS. XXV. A PERSECUTED JOURNALIST. XXVI. THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF DR. PERKINS. XXVII. GENERAL TRUMPS OF THE MILITIA. XXVIII. THE MISDIRECTED ENERGIES OF MR. BRADLEY. XXIX. THE TRIALS OF MR. KEYSER, GRANGER. XXX. MR. BANGER'S AUNT. XXXI. VARIOUS THINGS. ILLUSTRATIONS

ELBOW-ROOM MR. FOGG AS A MESMERIST A NOVEL MOUSETRAP A PERPLEXED MULE THE SECRETARY IS ALARMED MR. BUTTERWICK'S HORSE LIES DOWN THE BATTLE OF CANNÆ. MR. BARNES PROPOSES THE CARBOLIC DOOR-MAT THE GARDENER RETREATS TREADING WATER THE HEATHEN CLOTHE THEMSELVES THE JUDGE'S COW A TOMBSTONE CONTRACT MR. POTTS' MOUSE SHOOTING A BURGLAR A FLAT-IRON WEDDING AN EXCITED OLD LADY THE CAT SUCCUMBS HOW THE PIG WAS KILLED MR. SPOONER IS ALARMED THE LITTLE BABY-BEAR THE GOLDFISH TRICK. A CURTAILMENT AN INDIGNANT GUNNER CONFESSING THEIR FAULTS FORCED TO DO DUTY THE EARLY COCK THE AFFAIR AT THE POULTRY-SHOW THE SHERIFF IS MAD MR. SMITH'S GRIEF A SCARED FAMILY DR. SLUGG'S INVENTION JOE MIDDLES A COURT SCENE A DOG FOR SALE SMITH'S BOY RETREATS BANG!!! THE WANDERING JEW SIMPSON'S CASE THE GENERAL IN A RAGE "TAKE HER, YOUNG MAN!" BRADLEY'S CRADLE THE NEW MOTOR A QUEER PLANT TOO MUCH OF A BORE. BALLAST MAJOR SLOTT'S TIGER FACING THE TIGER. CHAPTER I

PROLOGUE. THE ADVANTAGES OF ELBOW-ROOM

CHAPTER II

THE TERRIBLE MISHAP TO MR. FOGG'S BABY

CHAPTER III

INTERNAL NAVIGATION.—AN UNFORTUNATE INVENTOR

THE REPORT

CHAPTER IV

THE FACTS IN REFERENCE TO MR. BUTTERWICK'S HORSE

THE BILL

CHAPTER V

SOME EDUCATIONAL FACTS

CHAPTER VI

THE EDITOR OF THE PATRIOT

CHAPTER VII

HOW MR. BUTTERWICK PURSUED HORTICULTURE

CHAPTER VIII

THE MEETING AND ITS MISSIONARY WORK

CHAPTER IX

JUDGE TWIDDLER'S COW

CHAPTER X

OUR CIVIL SERVICE

CHAPTER XI

FUNEREAL AND CONJUGAL

CHAPTER XII

A NEW MRS. TOODLES.—POTTS' ADVENTURES

CHAPTER XIII

THE RACES, AND SOME OTHER THINGS

CHAPTER XIV

RESPECTING CERTAIN SAVAGES

CHAPTER XV

LOVE, SUFFERING AND SUICIDE

CHAPTER XVI

MR. FOGG AS A SPORTSMAN AND A SPOUSE

CHAPTER XVII

HOW WE CONDUCT A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN

CHAPTER XVIII

THE MATUTINAL ROOSTER

CHAPTER XIX

AN UNRULY METER.—SCENES IN A SANCTUM

CHAPTER XX

HIGH ART

CHAPTER XXI

CERTAIN DENTAL EXPERIENCES.—AN UNFORTUNATE OFFICIAL

CHAPTER XXII

JUSTICE, AND A LITTLE INJUSTICE

CHAPTER XXIII

THE TRAMP WITH GENIUS AND WITHOUT IT

CHAPTER XXIV

THE DOG OF MR. BUTTERWICK'S, AND OTHER DOGS

CHAPTER XXV

A PERSECUTED JOURNALIST

BANG!!!

CHAPTER XXVI

THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF DR. PERKINS

CHAPTER XXVII

GENERAL TRUMPS OF THE MILITIA

CHAPTER XXVIII

THE MISDIRECTED ENERGIES OF MR. BRADLEY

CHAPTER XXIX

THE TRIALS OF MR. KEYSER, GRANGER

CHAPTER XXX

MR. BANGER'S AUNT

CHAPTER XXXI

VARIOUS THINGS

Отрывок из книги

Charles Heber Clark

A Novel Without a Plot

.....

"Your committee has given much thought and patient examination to the plan of Mr. Thompson McGlue. He suggests that the mules shall be clad in submarine armor and made to walk under water along the bottom of the canal, being fed with air through a pump. As we have never seen a mule in action while decorated with submarine armor, we are unable to say with positiveness what his conduct would be under such circumstances. But the objections to the plan are of a formidable character. The mule would, of course, be wholly excluded from every opportunity to view the scenery upon the route, and we fear that this would have a tendency to discourage him. Being under water, too, he might be tempted to stop frequently for the purpose of nibbling at the catfish encountered by him, and this would distract his attention from his work. Somebody would have to dive whenever he got his hind leg over the tow-line; and when the water was muddy, he might lose his way and either pull the boat in the wrong direction or be continually butting against the bank.

The prize has not yet been awarded. It is thought that the canal company will have to make it larger before they secure exactly what they want.

.....