‘A very funny book to dip in and out of and would make the perfect present for the wine bore in your life’ – The Independent , Drinks Books of the Year.For people who wouldn’t know a Romanée-Conti from a bad-boy Argentine Malbec, or a glass of Château d’Yquem from a can of orange Tango, I’ve Bought It, So I’ll Drink It is the essential book. Based on the authors’ acclaimed wine blog Sediment, it has almost nothing to do with fine wines and almost everything to do with the social, financial, marital, personal, conceptual and hardware issues surrounding middle-class wine drinking.Covering such vital topics as getting cheap wine from corner shops; how to ingratiate yourself with a wine merchant; handling wine in a box as well as in a five-litre plastic flagon with a tap; dealing with pichets, duff corkscrews and unbreakable tumblers; wine drinking in the Georgian era; and including an hommage to le Piat d’Or – this is a book that wrestles wine out of the bottle, pins it down and makes it tell the unpalatable truth.CJ and PK – widely, and perhaps even correctly, believed to be Charles Jennings and Paul Keers – have broken away from the conventional world of wine-writing, with its secret vocabulary and insufferable air of superiority. For those of us who so often fail to detect notes of citrus and caramel but mainly get a hint of alcohol with a grapey finish, I’ve Bought It, So I’ll Drink It is as refreshing as a glass of decent Muscadet on a summer’s day. Winner of the John Avery Award, André Simon Food and Drink Book Awards 2014 Sediment: ‘The finest wine blog available to humanity’ – Guardian critic Nicholas Lezard ‘To be blunt, the specialist wine world could do with a bit more of their disarming honesty’ – London Evening Standard
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Charles Jennings & Paul Keers. I Bought It, So I'll Drink It - The Joys (Or Not) Of Drinking Wine
Contents
Introduction to the paperback edition
Introduction
BUYING IT
Pounds and Pennies
Ordering Online – Tesco Cava
The Joy of Wine Browsing
Minimum Pricing
Six-Bottle Discounts
Virgin Wines
Deliveries
A Tale of Two Tastings
The Mixed Case
ON THE HIGH STREET
The High Street Wine Shop
Befriending a Wine Merchant
SPAR
Marks & Spencer
Nicolas
Tesco Express
Lidl
Sainsbury’s Basic
CONTAINMENT POLICY
In Praise of the Half-Bottle
Wine in a Box I
Wine in a Box II
Plastic Goblets
TOOLS OF THE TRADE
The Decanter
The Paris Goblet
The Riedel Tasting Glass
The Corkscrew
The Pichet
Duralex Glasses
Tumblers
THINKING AND DRINKING (1)
Dinner at CJ’s
Quaffing and Glugging
Wine on a Boat
From Plonk to Plonkers
POSTSCRIPT
Queen Victoria’s Tipple
Breakfast Wine
Drinking Alone
Nostalgia – Beaujolais Nouveau
CJ’S FRENCH CONNECTIONS
Buying in Bulk
A Case from France Pt I
A Case from France Pt II
A Case from France Pt III
Cubi Filled by Pump
A Tanker of Wine
PK’S ENGLISH ASPIRATIONS
Laying Wine Down
Drinking Wine at No. 10
Dinner-Party Wine Etiquette
Drinking Wine at Lambeth Palace
Port
Claret or Bordeaux?
The Posh Wine Merchants
THINKING AND DRINKING (2)
Drinking from a Mug
Nostalgia – Le Piat d’Or
Celebrity Wines – the Sediment Selection
Wine and Game
Nostalgia – Wine Drinking with Mary Quant
Drinking Wine Like James Bond
POSTSCRIPT:
Nostalgia – Regency Drinking
Unfinished Bottles
About the Authors
Copyright
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A lot has happened since we wrote the pages you’re about to read. It was some years ago when we first came up with the frankly ridiculous notion of writing a blog about real-life wine drinking. At the time, we thought about how much fun we were going to have; and how much free wine people were going to give us. Our motives were no more noble than the rot we drank.
So Sediment was born: a blog about worryingly affordable wines, wines in boxes and bags and screwtop bottles, wines that really ought to be better than they are. Plus all the business of what to drink the wine out of, how to drink it before it turns to vinegar, where to drink it without embarrassing yourself, how to acquire it in bulk, and how to get it into the house without your wife noticing.
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At Majestic, for example, it seems to be £20. Below that, prices range from £4.99 to £19.99; then suddenly, magically, it’s £22, £25, etc. And it works, on susceptible types like me. Immediately, it’s as if the wines have moved out of the bargains, and into a better class.
That’s because small change has always been a bit … low rent. At the gentlemen’s club Boodle’s until quite recently they used to boil the coins given in change; silver used to be regarded as a notoriously unhygienic metal, due to its more frequent contact with the lower classes. Silver could not be considered as correct tender from one gentleman to another. And supposedly a vestige of this survives when a shop assistant, apologising for giving you change, says, ‘Sorry it’s all silver …’