Why Beulah Shot Her Pistol Inside the Baptist Church

Why Beulah Shot Her Pistol Inside the Baptist Church
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Raised in the Primitive Baptist Church, Beulah Buchanan at age 16 marries the much older deacon Ralph Rainey to escape from her oppressive parents, thus jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Over the next six years, Beulah works in her domineering husband’s cafe all day and cooks him dinner at home every night, dutifully attends church, and falls into an affair with the preacher. When she embarasses her husband by not cooking enough food for the ravenous visiting revival preacher, Ralph “chastises” Beulah with his belt. When he tries to beat her again on another occasion, she fights back and locks him in the cooler at his cafe, where he freezes to death. This sounds like and is a Southern Gothic tragedy, but it is told in Beulah’s voice, which is innocently hilarious. Beulah is an original, but readers who liked Clyde Eagerton’s Raney and Mark Childress’s Crazy in Alabama will hear familiar echoes of those Southern women protagonists.

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Clayton Sullivan. Why Beulah Shot Her Pistol Inside the Baptist Church

Table of Contents

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Postscript

About the Author

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Why Beulah Shot Her Pistol Inside the Baptist Church

Clayton Sullivan

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Mama said, “Maybe it’s not. But nice or not nice, I’m not touching her wedding with a ten-foot pole. I’ve told you Ralph ain’t no good. If I went to the wedding I’d be as phony as a Jew singin’ about Jesus at a Baptist revival. You and Beulah can handle the wedding all by yourselves. So go to it and best of luck.”

I thought at the time Mama was being mean. I still think she was being mean. The Bible says you’re supposed to honor your father and your mother. That’s one of the ten commandments Brother Ledbetter is always preaching about at the New Jerusalem Baptist Church. I’m guessin’ the commandment means you’re supposed to love your parents. But how can you love your mama when she’s mean to you? I think it’s weird that your mama and daddy say some of the meanest things that’s ever said to you. Even if I was makin’ a mistake by marrying Ralph, couldn’t Mama at least have gone along and kept her feelings to herself and her mouth shut? If she’d done that I wouldn’t have been embarrassed by the way she was acting. I’ll put it this way: can’t a mama be kind to her daughter even when she feels her daughter is making a mistake? If I ever have a son or a daughter I’m gonna be kind and tender to ’em even though I know they’re pissin’ in their pants.

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