Europe Revised

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Cobb Irvin Shrewsbury. Europe Revised

Chapter I. We Are Going Away From Here

Chapter II. My Bonny Lies over the Ocean—Lies and Lies and Lies

Chapter III. Bathing Oneself on the Other Side

Chapter IV. Jacques, the Forsaken

Chapter V. When the Seven A.M. Tut-tut leaves for Anywhere

Chapter VI. La Belle France Being the First Stop

Chapter VII. Thence On and On to Verbotenland

Chapter VIII. A Tale of a String-bean

Chapter IX. The Deadly Poulet Routine

Chapter X. Modes of the Moment; a Fashion Article

Chapter XI. Dressed to Kill

Chapter XII. Night Life—with the Life Part Missing

Chapter XIII. Our Friend, the Assassin

Chapter XIV. That Gay Paresis

Chapter XV. Symptoms of the Disease

Chapter XVI. As Done in London

Chapter XVII. Britain in Twenty Minutes

Chapter XVIII. Guyed or Guided?

Chapter XIX. Venice and the Venisons

Chapter XX. The Combustible Captain of Vienna

Chapter XXI. Old Masters and Other Ruins

Chapter XXII. Still More Ruins, Mostly Italian Ones

Chapter XXIII. Muckraking in Old Pompeii

Chapter XXIV. Mine Own People

Chapter XXV. Be it Ever so Humble

Отрывок из книги

Of course, we had a bridal couple and a troupe of professional deep-sea fishermen aboard. We just naturally had to have them. Without them, I doubt whether the ship could have sailed. The bridal couple were from somewhere in the central part of Ohio and they were taking their honeymoon tour; but, if I were a bridal couple from the central part of Ohio and had never been to sea before, as was the case in this particular instance, I should take my honeymoon ashore and keep it there. I most certainly should! This couple of ours came aboard billing and cooing to beat the lovebirds. They made it plain to all that they had just been married and were proud of it. Their baggage was brand-new, and the groom's shoes were shiny with that pristine shininess which, once destroyed, can never be restored; and the bride wore her going-and-giving-away outfit.

Just prior to sailing and on the morning after they were all over the ship. Everywhere you went you seemed to meet them and they were always wrestling. You entered a quiet side passage—there they were, exchanging a kiss—one of the long-drawn, deep-siphoned, sirupy kind. You stepped into the writing room thinking to find it deserted, and at sight of you they broke grips and sprang apart, eyeing you like a pair of startled fawns surprised by the cruel huntsman in a forest glade. At all other times, though, they had eyes but for each other.

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So he looked me over and told me that I had climate fever. We were passing through the Gulf Stream, where the water was warmer than elsewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, and I had a touch of climate fever. It was a very common complaint in that latitude; many persons suffered from it. The symptoms were akin to seasickness, it was true; yet the two maladies were in no way to be confused. As soon as we passed out of the Gulf Stream he felt sure I would be perfectly well. Meantime he would recommend that I get Lubly to take the rest of my things off and then remain perfectly quiet. He was right about it too.

Regardless of what one may think oneself, one is bound to accept the statement of an authority on this subject; and if a steward on a big liner, who has traveled back and forth across the ocean for years, is not an authority on climate fever, who is? I looked at it in that light. And sure enough, when we had passed out of the Gulf Stream and the sea had smoothed itself out, I made a speedy and satisfactory recovery; but if it had been seasickness I should have confessed it in a minute. I have no patience with those who quibble and equivocate in regard to their having been seasick.

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