Welcome to the real and imagined worlds of D. R. Belz, where you’ll find: a practicing white witch kindergarten teacher whose practical joke brings a strange consequence; a young priest-in-training who encounters a literal femme fatale; a homeless man who finds a baby in a trash bin on Christmas morning-and something more; a catalog of bizarre mail-order products you won’t find anywhere else in the universe; an agency in Washington where a million monkeys type out Shakespeare; a suburban doctor who emotionally starves his ailing wife to death; a future in which families employ professional Readers; a cookbook of international cuisine with “real-ingredient” recipes . . . and more.
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D. R. Belz. White Asparagus
Foreword
Acknowledgments
Going Metric, Going Crazy
The Joy of Cooking Internationally
Boola, Boola!
Your Astrological Forecast
TM
The Million Monkey Room
Hand Jive
What Things Cost
College: Not Just a Seven-Letter Word
ValuesRUs.com
The Reader
Etiquette for the 21st Century and Beyond
Addicted to a Naughty Habit
Smoke
Tutor to the Stars
The Caveman Diet
Gift of the Cicadas
The Spiders of Autumn
The Great-Ideas-That-Never-Got-Off-The-Ground Catalogue
Thank You in Advance
Gaia
Faces
At My First Bar Mitzvah
September’s Child
Plato’s Tree
Washing an Apple for my Daughter
Mourning, River, Rocks
The Red Wheelbarrow
Ice Maker
Ignis Fatuus
Suite: This Plastic Art
Suicides in Heaven
Dead or Missing
Destiny at Knifepoint
The Fabulist
The Prophet
Tidings
There Angels Dance
“And Little Lambs Eat Ivy”
The Perfect Pancake
The Bluebird of Happiness
Smart Boy
Poke Supreme
Slow Motion
The Green Bacon Boy
Following Distance
White Asparagus
About the Author
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Praise for White Asparagus
“...like eating a salad prepared by a four-star chef. The words are clean, crisp, crunchy and seasoned with observation, wit and empathy. I can read the poetry again and again, like chewing gum that keeps its flavor.”
.....
That one is Kurt Vonnegut.
In Slaughterhouse-Five, Vonnegut feared a future “according to General Motors.” Today Belz labors to make sense of one delivered each day by media conglomerates across the country that continue to make writing for a living harder and harder.
