The Blockbuster Baddiel Collection: The Parent Agency; The Person Controller; AniMalcolm

The Blockbuster Baddiel Collection: The Parent Agency; The Person Controller; AniMalcolm
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Описание книги

Three hilarious novels of heart, humour and wishes gone wrong, from the new star of children’s books – by award-winning and bestselling author, David Baddiel.Illustrated by Jim Field – winner of the Roald Dahl Funny Prize.THE PARENT AGENCY: Barry said, a third time, “I wish I had better parents!” And then suddenly the entire room started to shake…Barry Bennett hates being called Barry. In fact it’s number 2 on the list of things he blames his parents for, along with 1) ‘being boring’ and 3) ‘always being tired’.But there is a world, not far from this one, where parents don’t have children. That’s far too random for something so big and important. In this world, children are allowed to choose their parents.For Barry Bennett, this world seems like a dream come true. Only things turn out to be not quite that simple…THE PERSON CONTROLLER: Fred and Ellie are twins. But not identical (because that's impossible for a boy and a girl). They do like all the same things, though. Especially video games. Which they are very good at. They aren't that good, however, at much else – like, for example, football, or dealing with the school bullies.Then, they meet the Mystery Man, who sends them a video game controller, which doesn't look like any other controller they've ever seen. And it doesn't control any of their usual games. When the twins find out what it does control, though, it seems like the answer to all their problems. And the key to all their wildest dreams. At least it seems like that…ANIMALCOLM: Malcolm doesn’t like animals. Which is a problem because his family love them. Their house is full of pets. What the house is NOT full of is stuff Malcolm likes. Such as the laptop he wanted for his birthday.The only bright spot on the horizon is the Year 6 school trip, until Malcolm realizes it’s heading to…oh no. The farm.Over the next days, Malcolm changes. He learns a lot about animals. More, in many ways, than he would like. He learns what it’s really like to be an animal…It does make him think differently. And speak differently. And eat differently. But will he end up the same as he was before? Because sometimes the hardest thing to become is… yourself.

Оглавление

David Baddiel. The Blockbuster Baddiel Collection: The Parent Agency; The Person Controller; AniMalcolm

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

BARRISSINA ORANGE HAMLET BUNNY-CUTIE PIDDLYPIDDLYPIDDLY MITT

BARRISSINA

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

REALLY LATE, SATURDAY NIGHT:WAY PAST BARRY’S NORMAL BEDTIME

Acknowledgments

Footnotes. Chapter 1: Fred and Ellie

Chapter 2: Eric

Chapter 3: Cyberdodo

Chapter 4: The other twins

Chapter 5: Fred’s football trials: just one example

Chapter 10: Pair with Controller

Chapter 19: My turn

Chapter 20: Ellie Premium Edition

Chapter 23: Flashback

Chapter 28: A shaven gorilla

Chapter 30: Actually, it’s not Skype

Chapter 32: Nerd

Chapter 35: The Boxspital

Chapter 36: Happy christmas, stones …

Chapter 38: Emwmwtaapt Morris

Chapter 44: The Bracket Wood and Surrounding Area Inter-school Winter Trophy

Chapter 47: What happened?

Chapter 49: Like this one?

Chapter 53: Single bow

Chapter 54: Watch Out!

Chapter 55: 110 per cent

Part 4: Bonus

Footnotes. Chapter Two: 700 cats, 800 dogs and five giraffes

Chapter Three: Mini-coloured Munch Balls

Chapter Four: The Monkey Moment

Chapter Five: The last present

Chapter Seven: Stinky Blinky

Chapter Eight: K-Pax

Chapter Nine: Kind of green

Chapter Eleven: Benny and Bjorn

Chapter Twelve: A sudden chill

Chapter Thirteen: Manky lettuce

Chapter Fourteen: That’s porpoises

Chapter Fifteen: Hello M

Chapter Sixteen: Slurp slurp slurp

Chapter Seventeen: Catamanny story

Chapter Eighteen: So cat

Chapter Twenty: The Dollys

Chapter Twenty-Six: Bring me a manky apple

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Oh-so-clever pig

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Whaaaaaaaaarrggggghhh …!!

Chapter Thirty: Cute but sad and lost

Chapter Thirty-Two: Memories

Chapter Thirty-Three: Mud

Chapter Thirty-Four: Lord King Louie’s precious pile of poop

Chapter Thirty-Five: Dominant male

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Splat

Chapter Thirty-Eight: A day over 148

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Eiwkltsh

Chapter Forty-One: This army

Chapter Forty-Five: Free cheese

Chapter Fifty-One: Not normal circumstances

About the Publisher

Отрывок из книги

THE BLOCKBUSTER BADDIEL COLLECTION

The Parent Agency

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Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

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