Goodbye, Hurt & Pain

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Deborah Sandella. Goodbye, Hurt & Pain

PRAISE FOR. GOODBYE, HURT & PAIN

CONTENTS

FOREWORD

INTRODUCTION

DYNAMICS BETWEEN FEELINGS, THE BODY, AND IMAGINATION

MIND TO MATTER

HOW I CAME TO THESE METHODS: THE STORY OF RIM

FLOW & GOYour Feelings Have a Natural Shelf Life

KRIS'S STORY: WHEN EMOTIONS GO UNDERGROUND

JOHN'S STORY: WELCOMING THE HIDDEN MESSAGES IN PAIN

NANCY'S STORY: HOW OUR FEELINGS HELP KEEP US SAFE

HOW IT WORKS—PRACTICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY

Emotions Flow Naturally

Our Three Primal Feelings: Curiosity, Comfort, and Discomfort

The Most Commonly Dammed or “Damned” Feelings

Fear

Anger

Hurt and Anger

Sadness and Grief

The Stages of Grief. DENIAL

ANGER

BARGAINING

DEPRESSION

ACCEPTANCE

Receiving the Gift of Old Feelings

Envy and Jealousy

Self Check-In

Feelings about Feelings

Feelings into Words and Thoughts

PRACTICE IT YOURSELF

Three Simple Activities to Keep Your River of Feeling Flowing. Emptying Angry Feelings through Uncensored Writing

Clearing Sadness/Grief through Your Heart

Freeing Feelings of Envy through Movement

SEE & FREEYour Feelings Have Form

JACK'S STORY: MOVING PAST A ROADBLOCK

JOAN'S STORY: RESTORING HEALTH BY REGENERATING PAINFUL EXPERIENCE

ROBERT'S STORY: DISARMING HIDDEN FEARS BOOSTS FINANCIAL SUCCESS

HOW IT WORKS—PRACTICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY

The Form of Feelings

Heavy vs. Light

Empty vs. Full

Loved vs. Unloved

Symbolic Images

The Emotional Benefits of Daydreaming

PRACTICE IT YOURSELF

Closing Your Eyes

Controlling Your Breath

Sensing the Form of Feelings Activities

Conscious Seeing

Closed Eye Sensing

Conscious Body Seeing

Conscious Body Energy Sensing

Conscious Moving into the Energy

Receiving Whatever Thoughts, Feelings, and Images Arise

MY PERSONAL INSIGHTS

UNSTICK & UP-WICKYour Intense Emotion + An Event = Stuck Memories

RICHARD'S STORY: UNEXPECTED TRIGGERS CAN UNEARTH BURIED FEELINGS

RACHAEL'S STORY: WHAT WE FEEL IS STRONGER THAN WHAT WE THINK

JENNIFER'S STORY: MAKING FRIENDS WITH OUR FEARS

HOW IT WORKS—PRACTICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY

Whose Feelings Are You Having?

When Compassion Works Better than Empathy

How Empathic Are You?

Unsticking Negative Emotion. Keep Breathing

See and Hear Yourself

Wicking Up Juicy Good Feelings

Asking for an Image That Represents an Answer or Issue

Integrating New Positive Feelings into Your Body

PRACTICE IT YOURSELF. Whole Brain Breathing Activities

Unsticking Feelings Activity

Seeing and Hearing Yourself Activity

The Adult You Talks to the Little You

The Little You Receives from the Adult You

The Adult You Acknowledges the Little You

Wicking Up Positive Emotions Activity

ME & THEEYour Wholeness Is Greater Than the Sum ofYour Human Parts

SHEILA'S STORY: RECEIVING A PERFECT HEALING MESSAGE

ROGER'S STORY: UNRAVELING OLD SECRETS REVEALS NEW INSIGHTS

MARC'S STORY: CALLING ON OUR EXTRAORDINARY ORGANIC RESOURCES

HOW IT WORKS—PRACTICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY

You Are So Much More than Your Physical Self

The Power of Virtual Resources

Loneliness Is a Perception

Revealers of Expanded Insight and Intelligence

Inner Safety

PRACTICE IT YOURSELF. Calling Forth a Virtual Resource Activity

REPEL & ATTRACTYour Feelings Are Magnetic

TOM'S STORY: EARLY EMOTIONAL CONFLICTS ATTRACT MORE OF THE SAME

HEATHER'S STORY: THE DEPTH OF HEALING IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE DEGREE OF PAIN

CRAIG'S STORY: NO LONGER “DEFECTIVE”

HOW IT WORKS—PRACTICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY

Organically Uncovering the Magnetic Memory

Tracking Body Awareness

Asking for an Image of the One to Whom You Need to Speak

Magnetizing New Empowering Memory

Repeatedly Lighting Up a New Habit

PRACTICE IT YOURSELF. Organically Uncovering Magnetic Memory Activities

Tracking Body Awareness

Asking Imagination to Whom You Need to Speak

Magnetizing New Empowering Memory Activity

SQUEEZE & BREEZEYour Feelings Increase with Resistance andDecrease with Embrace

SUE'S STORY: WHAT THE BODY KNOWS

MIRIAM AND WILL'S STORY: GUILT CONSTRICTS THOSE WE LOVE

NATHAN'S STORY: GAINING INSIGHT THROUGH ANOTHER'S EYES

HOW IT WORKS—PRACTICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY

Beauty in the Ugliness

Expanded Self-Awareness

Discovering Our “Ugliness” through Another's Perspective

Realizing New Choices

A Return to Inherent Joy

PRACTICE IT YOURSELF. Expanding Self-Awareness Activity

Identifying and Finding Beauty in Ugly Feelings Activity

Seeing Yourself through Another's Perspective Activity

Returning to Joy Activity

REDO & RENEWWhat Is Real and What Is ImaginedReconsolidate as Your Emotional Memory

MIKE'S STORY: TRANSFORMATION IS TIMELESS

CARLA'S STORY: REGENERATING A SILENCED VOICE

DONNA'S STORY: REGENERATING A PIVOTAL MOMENT ELEVATES SELF-ESTEEM

HOW IT WORKS—PRACTICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY

Timeliness and Timelessness

Updated Identity

The Power of Regenerated Memory

Asking Your Imagination for a Number

Healing at an Intergenerational Level

Anchoring a Successful Memory Redo

Imagination and the Body

PRACTICE IT YOURSELF

Asking for the Age of a Source Event

Updating a Memory with a New Positive Outcome Activity

Anchoring the New Memory in the Future Activity

DO IT!Dip-See-Do

ROBERTA'S STORY: CLEARING PAINFUL MEMORIES HEALS

JAMES'S STORY: EXPRESSING NEEDS HELPS A PAINFUL HIP

HARRY'S EXPERIENCE: UNRAVELING ADDICTION

ALAN'S STORY: HEALING THROUGH THE HEART NOT THE HEAD GETS GREATER RESULTS

HOW IT WORKS—PRACTICALLY AND SCIENTIFICALLY

Dip-See-Do

The Whole Brain Zone

The Brain and Emotional/Physical Pain

Natural Charisma

CLOSING

PRACTICE IT YOURSELF

DIP

SEE

DO

SIMPLE AND SPEEDY RIM TOOLS FOR DAILY LIFE

ERASER

SOOTHER

DECISION-MAKER

BIG DREAM VIEWER

VOICE ENHANCER

PROBLEM-SOLVING MAGICIAN

OUT-OF-THE-BOX INVENTIONS

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS ABOUT RIM. Regenerating Images in Memory

What Is RIM®?

How Does It Work?

What Is RIM's Philosophy?

Can RIM Be Used with Groups?

Can RIM Be Done over the Phone and via Skype?

How Long Are Facilitated Sessions?

How Many RIM Sessions Are Necessary?

Has RIM Been Researched?

Are There Contraindications for RIM?

How Do I Become a RIM Facilitator?

How Do I Find a RIM Facilitator?

Is Dr. Deb Available for Speaking and Workshops?

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ENDNOTES. INTRODUCTION

STEP ONE: FLOW & GO

STEP TWO: SEE & FREE

STEP THREE: UPSTICK & UP-WICK

STEP FOUR: ME & THEE

STEP FIVE: REPEL & ATTRACT

STEP SIX: SQUEEZE & BREEZE

STEP SEVEN: REDO & RENEW

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER

SIMPLE AND SPEEDY RIM TOOLS FOR DAILY LIFE

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS ABOUT RIM

INDEX

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

TO OUR READERS

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“This is so much more than a book! It's an insightful guide to experiencing greater freedom, ease, and success. I've had profound experiences with RIM and this book exceeded my expectations. Get a copy for yourself and someone you love. You'll be glad you did!”

—MARILYN SUTTLE, author of Who's Your Gladys? How to Turn Even Your Most Difficult Customer into Your Biggest Fan

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Sadness and grief are sometimes interchangeable, but they usually differ in duration. Sadness can last a few minutes to a few hours and represents a normal response to perceived and actual loss. Grief usually lasts a few weeks to a few years and involves various states of mind over the course of its resolution. Sadness, if extended, may become grief, and grief includes many feelings of sadness.

Putting a name to these feelings makes them sound almost simple: “sadness and grief,” so neat and tidy. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. The internal, subjective experience of loss is indescribably painful—it's the realization that our life can change in a split second and we can lose what we have held close to keep us safe and happy. Grief shatters our illusion of control and involuntarily reveals feelings of helplessness.

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