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“He went right to sleep,” James said, dropping down onto the couch next to Fallon, keeping a proper distance from her, of course.
“I sat with him about five minutes—thought he might ask some questions about why he was going to keep on living with me for a little while, or maybe talk about the Christmas tree. But he just turned over on his side and went to sleep. It was a big day for him. I think we actually wore him out.”
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She shook her head, couldn’t tell him that what she would have needed from him would have been too great. She’d survived the plane crash, but in so many little pieces. James would have wanted to be the one to put those pieces back together again, and the timing…it couldn’t be helped. He’d just met Tyler. And only just learned how it truly felt to love a child so desperately.
And she’d lost hers…theirs. Lost her baby before James ever knew he existed. And not telling James, not letting him be part of those few months she carried their baby, was the unpardonable sin. Not letting him be there at the delivery of their son, and hold him the way she’d been allowed to for those brief moments…It was all too late now. What was done was done. She couldn’t go back and change it, and she refused to go forward and hurt James. He didn’t deserve that. And she…she didn’t deserve a man as good as James. “I disappeared because I had issues to resolve, and physical problems to work out.”
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