Читать книгу My city: the tragedy of one family - Дмитрий Георгиевич Боррони - Страница 1

Prolog

History which I want to tell occurred in one of the cities. What is the city, not important. It could occur in each city of the world. History began long ago, and never it will be the end. It will not end because it is old as the world. Dispute of fathers and children: who wants to make for whom better, than it is actually.

This history is heard and told by me. I tell it as heard from people − heroes of this history. Heroes all different, many will find in them themselves. You take a detached view of yourself: what you represent actually. Still here I communicate with heroes of this history only yours faithfully. Only on "you" − and anything else. We forgot about respect for the family, and we always communicate with them on "you", and it is so humiliating when to you even the family sticks. Remember works by classics. There everywhere speak validly, on "you". Let's carry on this tradition and we will speak with each other validly, on "you".

So, this history began long ago, I do not know when, but it ended so.

The cemetery, the silent fresh winter breeze blew. We stood at a grave. This was Nadezhda's grave. The novel, having leaned the elbows on trust, stood at a grave of the mother. It was difficult for it to stand. He could not believe in any way that it does not exist with it any more. She died and lay in this grave.

Sadly, isn't that so? As it is terrible to lose any of relatives. But it is inevitable. All of us die. Nobody can live forever.

So, we will begin since my children's years.

Chapter-1

School days are wonderful

I live in the city which is called the city of a dream! Do you ask why it so is called? Just each of the cities in which there lives this or that person is called the city of a dream. It so. For each person where he lived, his city will be the most beautiful city on the earth. City of a dream! Stories which I will tell happened in the different cities, and from it the story becomes more fascinating.

It is a pity that that beautiful city is unfortunate. People just do not feel sorry for him. Cut down trees, litter the rivers and lakes and just sneeze on it. Claim that the house will sustain everything, all to it at all. But these people are mistaken. The house − not rubber which can be stretched, it − the house, and anything else. It is a pity that we do not appreciate that wealth which surrounds us. We spend it for nothing.

But it is fine. I will begin the history. The city in which I live, very good. I will not write its name to be fair to those cities where there could be a same story. So, my city is beautiful, the truth it has problems, but they are not in what cities. Housing problem, question of corruption of officials and just pressing problems. However, them it is much bigger, than it was possible to imagine.

Near it peacefully there is one of settlements, gloomy, not lit, teeming there with dashing children. It was a disgrace the area though had a reputation for the settlement where there live his masters. However, all one after another.

I always lived in this settlement, I liked to live very much there. I was young and full of strength. Little girl of years of seven. Today the first of September. First call, first teacher. Little girl tot. Costs with a bouquet of flowers of scarlet peonies. She looks at some woman telling something from steps of school. Beautiful! Yes, it is similar to my sister. Do you ask what she told? She congratulated all on the beginning of academic year. Wished good marks and new knowledge. The good speech, you will tell nothing. Parents shot the offsprings with the video cameras. The invited photographer removed all of us together, and at additional expense − everyone separately.

And here the meeting came to an end, our teachers approached us, and we with them went to classes. We were conducted by other teacher, not that teacher who told the speech from a ladder of school: we were led in a class by the corpulent lady, she had a severe looking. She entered us into a light class, and, told "sit down where you want". Without having managed to finish a phrase and (though she was also a strong woman, but nevertheless could not keep) having leaned against a table, could avoid that first graders with wild squeal as a hurricane, with wild shout rushed on a class, throwing a portfolio on a school desk to secure the place in the first row. Yes! Day promised to be roast, however, as well as all year of study.

I got the place at the end of a class, in a corner, at a window. The place, of course, not from the best, but brightly shines the sun. I look in a window and I see outside the window the schoolyard. It is empty. Anybody. Only the janitor swept the street sidewalk. At a window the oak grew. It was elderly. It is proud and stately it razmakhnut the branches trees on which leaves already turned yellow. How many he saw for the life, how many pleasures and a grief. Everything was in his life?

Meanwhile the teacher told about study at school. About knowledge which we will gain in it. About the fact that we have to preserve the nature, keep clean a class and behave at lessons well. Generally, she spoke about everything, including that the school for ten years will become ours the second house. Then it issued us textbooks, and we accompanied by the parents went home.

Having come home, I long told how there passed the first lesson. The world lesson − so it was called by teachers. Well, tomorrow in school, days of work of study, homeworks, the first estimates will begin. First acquaintances to the same first graders, as well as I; however, it will be only tomorrow, and today − the last day of fun, games. Tomorrow in school.

Next day exactly at eight o'clock in the morning when the first call rang out, I sat at the school desk, at a window. Soon the teacher entered a class. She was presented and told that we have to get up every time as it enters and leaves a class. Also she told that we have to get up, every time when enters a class and leaves any of teachers. She explained that so we greet and say goodbye to teachers, also she told that now in this school our life will change. We will acquire knowledge which will help to study us further and to become that whom we would like to become. So it to us punished to study well, not to shirk occupation and if something urgent, then there has to be a note from parents. And if somebody gets sick, then the reference from the local pediatrician is obligatory, or the truancy and the second year will be considered. Then the teacher told us that we have to be trained. She left a class and, having entered it again, greeted us. We got up because of school desks, greeted it, then she asked us to sit down.

Now I am obliged to tell about my first teacher, called her Shchepak Valentina Semenovna. Slightly more than forty years were it at that time. The well-fed woman, she always was on the ball. Tried to put on as the teacher needs to put on. Any прикрас, only dress or skirt. Any excess jewelry, only a wedding ring on a hand.

So, first lesson. Literature lesson. Many fairy tales to us were read by our parents to us in the childhood, they were a set of sets. One of such fairy tales also became our first lesson. However, I do not remember what the fairy tale and it was and it is not important. Let's pass to a lesson number two: Russian. Here it is possible to tell at once that according to the abc-book to study it was interesting and entertaining. We learned the first letter of the alphabet, it was the letter "A". We learned to write it in the notebooks, removed each hyphen and learned what words begin on a letter "A". Third lesson − mathematics. Here explained us numerals and learned to put one and one. The fourth −урок work became one of darlings. In the pleasure cut out from paper any intricate figures and all.

End of school day. I left a class, ran in a locker room where my mother waited for me: it also took away me home until the end of academic year.

Generally, the whole year of occupations passed in the first class interestingly and interestingly. First graders always learn something new, to them the whole world of knowledge, stories opens. And there passed the whole year. We studied, taken knowledge. All as usual, all as always.

New year. We prepared number. Father Frost and Snow Maiden. Outside the window there was a frost, at windows it decorated windows in fancy white patterns. We addressed in the class the parents. Each of us wanted not to lag behind another, to play if it is not better, then and it is not worse than the partner. All had a joyful mood. New Year! Children's holiday of fun and good mood!

Outside the window the moon lit a way to the wanderer, stars flickered in a night firmament. Calm around, it is only heard a snow crunch. The hare little rogue runs on the night wood. In the house there is a fir-tree decorated with toys. It blinks multi-colored fires. New year!!!

Last call! Joyful mood for graduates of school. As I envied them! Here they, enter adulthood, school days behind. How many knowledge did they gain? And how many still will receive? We gathered in the big gym that was in school. There were all: from us first graders to graduates of the tenth classes. There was a big gala concert. All of us congratulated graduates of the tenth class on the termination of academic year and their introduction in adulthood. I remember how they took us on hands, and then put to themselves on shoulders and carried by on all hall, and we, first graders, rang a small hand bell. The last call for tenth-graders − farewell school, hi adulthood.

Vacation! Summer vacation! What can be better, than vacation? Perhaps, for the person who passed into the second class nothing the best can exist as three months to take a walk before new academic year. Fun! Mischief! What can be better, than be heated on the lake under a bright sun? Trip to giving? To have a rest on the personal site. To kindle a fire in a brazier, on coals to make brochettes, and then to enjoy them. Silence. Wood and silence. It is heard somewhere the woodpecker with a red beak knocks on a tree trunk. Birds sing the morning song. The rooster uttered a crow five o'clock in the morning. It is time to milk a cow. Life is fine! Who could brag of all this?

And here again school. Now I am already a vtoroklashka. What new waits for me this year? What new will be opened by me for myself? What knowledge will I acquire? Everything was interesting, and I with new forces began to learn lessons and to receive estimates. The second class differed from the first. If in the first class treated us with degression and forgave certain errors in study, then in the second class we received less privileges, and I had to comprehend an event and not to lag behind others. My five which I received in the first class in the first quarter some became the fours, and only at the end of the half-year I corrected them on the five.

Here I am obliged to tell the story which happened in the second class. Our teacher could not be present at the first lesson or at the second, I do not remember. To us entered a class the director of studies. The young woman, that that on the first of September last year was told by the speech on steps of school. It entered not one, with it there was a senior pupil, I knew it. Sometimes, when it was cold in the winter, I ran on a ladder where there were senior pupils and, having leaned the elbows on the warm battery, were heated and kept order. However, it was impossible to tell whether they kept order. They just stood and, without paying attention to anybody, went about everyone the own business. Who stirred about today's task, who discussed it. Someone reduced gossips, and someone just read. Generally, did not do nothing. But we will return to a class where now there was a director of studies and the senior pupil. The director of studies told us that Valentina Semenovna will not be able to be present at this lesson and it will be carried out by the schoolgirl of the tenth class Lena. Then it left. Lena, having looked that we passed, told that today it will not ask us concerning last material. It will be better if we just sit and we will write something from the textbook. She read some story from a teacher's notebook and told that we retold it in writing, that is wrote statement. There passed a quarter of hour, one pupil raised a hand and asked how the letter "e" is written: I do not know whether he really forgot how this letter "e" is written or just decided to check Lena? I do not know. We were second-graders and quite could forget how this letter, the letter "e" is written. It is so similar to other letter of the Russian alphabet, especially capital. This letter "e". Yes, they are twins in specular reflection, and it played a dirty trick with Lena. She took chalk and having drawn the letter "e" on a board, told that so it is written. Then, having seen in eyes at pupils a puzzled look, Lena, looked at a board, thought, erased the letter "e", and, having written the letter "e", again thought. It seemed what she does not know how in general this letter is written, its specular reflection of other letter of the Russian alphabet, "э", and the letter "e" − they are so similar. Both of them are two vowels, a sin not to be mistaken to us, pupils of initial classes. But how Lena could forget? Schoolgirl of the tenth class? There is a shame! What only it was taught to? She looked stupidly at a board for a long time, trying to think how this letter of the Russian alphabet is written? Anyway? Question? Eventually, after long five-minute reflections on a subject as this letter is written, it was resolved. She agreed with though she was not sure for all hundred percent that this letter is written quite so. "Э". Then she added that this option is more real, or something in this spirit. Then I thought that Lena just never taught so many children. She just became puzzled. However, there could be also other reasons. Who knows why she forgot how this letter is written. Letter, "э". Thirtieth letter of the Russian alphabet.

So I studied at school three years.

Days developed in weeks, and those − in months. Year after year, and here I passed into the fourth class.

In high school there was such history. I will tell it as I remember. At a biology lesson. The teacher − the representative woman who graduated the polytechnical university and working at school, teaching biology. Her name was rare − Nesle. She was the leading expert of the business. And honestly taught children. Once, when I wrote the term paper, having checked it, she told that my work is the best of all. Once she asked: tell when the sun heats is hotter? Having raised a hand I answered: the sun heats is hotter if it is higher. All burst out laughing. And the teacher was surprised, told: what do you laugh? She speaks truly. The sun is higher, the is hotter.

Everything would be nothing, but? Always is but? Even if it is absent, it steadily is present everywhere and always. And at me. My family was the English family. But do not think that all of us were from England. No. Just all my family learned English. My mother and the father knew it on teeth, from "A" to "Z". And I was forced to study German. Do you ask why? I just had no choice. I got in a year when at school learned two German. Tell why so do, alternate the English and German languages, in one year study either English, or German language. I cannot understand it, and you? There was nothing to do to me, and I began to learn German. But I hoped when I graduate from school, I will learn English.

My school days passed rather quietly. In them there was everything: both first kiss, and fight. However what to tell − school. As we were said by Valentina Semenovna that school − our second house. Here you learn everything that you have to awake the nobility when time to abandon her comes.

And it turned out. Here at school, someone from us lit, and each change ran on the street that with same, as well as they to smoke. Someone became a bandit, one senior pupil in sixteen years became pregnant and gave rise.

This case was actually and it really took place at one of schools.

Chapter-2

Story by the woman

Having graduated from school, I came to the FACULTY OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES. There, having studied all five years and having finished it with honors, became the lawyer and learned not only English, but also German and also the Spanish languages. Now I work in Moscow. I have the personal legal office. Well, life got better, takes its course.

To me many citizens with the stories, problems come. Many of them do not make sense. To tell them, especially to listen there is no pleasure. But is also such that it is necessary to tell about them. Somehow time to me the young woman, came years of thirty. She told me the story.

– Who would know how to me precisely! – it began the story, – precisely and in a disgusting way! Yesterday, when I came back home from work, I found it, it if one may say so the husband in embraces another. Yes, this if one may say so my husband, he changed me with another, – she began to cry. – I what, loved it a little? Yes I gave all soul to it! And it? Cattle! Lay embracing it, the swine!

From a conversation with it I understood that they got acquainted at work: he was a junior architect, it the junior trainee. Her husband with the younger trainee worked together, and all saw how he unevenly to her breathes. Yes, he was a man from capital letter of it a word. None of the weaker sex could tell that it cannot. It could do everything and even more. Only having married, he restrained the heat a little and became the exemplary family man, did not meet Larisa, the younger trainee yet. The novel − so called the husband of Vera who came to me and began to tell about the problem. She said that ever since it changed, became cold and remote from her. All this time he spent more time with Larisa, than with her, with the wife. He drove Larisa in restaurants, in theaters, made with her business trips. Generally, conducted a stormy life.

Meanwhile houses as damned, waited for the husband and his wife Vera conducted economy. She, as well as all women, first could not believe that her darling changed it. Though rumors about an adventure of her husband and his affair with Larisa went, she rejected all these charges. Tried not to pay any attention to them.

Somehow time she saw the husband on the presentation of his new project. There she got acquainted Larisa, the junior trainee of her husband. She did not know that Vera was Roman's wife, they got to talking, and Vera told Larisa about the affair with Roman. The truth it called it laskatelno − Romik. As alcoholic drink, rum. Agree, the pet name is better and you will not think up. She told that, they are familiar about half a year, during this time they approached, she became pregnant, and now is in situation and in nine months waits for addition. She was happy, her face sparkled with happiness. She expected a baby as I understand, the firstborn.

− I understood it. I understood also Roman. He all the life wanted children, but I could not present him them. I can never have children. I asked about Roman, I wanted to know that she knows about him? She answered that it works together with it, at one enterprise and in one department. Having met Roman, it found happiness, she receives from life all that it can give it. Larisa also added that Roman prior to a meeting with it was unfortunate. He said that he married in youth and now is sorry about it.

Vera was interested in this phrase, she wanted to know why Roman is unfortunate?

Really only because Larisa could not give it that he wanted − children. She offered adoption, but obviously Roman was from those men who wanted continuation by some kind of, seed, but not the stranger. It, of course, could go for adoption, but only when its seed gives the sprouts, the children. Their Vera could not give it.

She told that Roman was unfortunate because he did not love the wife. He in general married by mistake. Who knows why he married? He can hoped that it will give it that he wants the son or the daughter? He can hoped that sometime he nevertheless will fall in love with it, and they will begin to live in harmony and consent? But Vera of the hall that their marriage was predetermined from the very beginning. The matter is that they though were reduced on acquaintance, except the confidential relations they any more than nothing to each other tested. He did not love it, and having learned that it is fruitless, to it became cold. Only one warmed his heart: he nevertheless benefited from this marriage. The dowry which he received was sense of this marriage of convenience.

Larisa asked Vera:

− Really you never guessed what he did not love you?

− Of course guessed, – Vera answered, – but I hoped that my assumption − is only my imaginations. Unfortunately, I was mistaken, – with grief she told and added: − He never loved me.

On her heart the stone lay, she could not believe in what the husband changes it. – I for it everything, and it … − started howling it. – It − cable. Would tell that does not want to live with me any more, I would release it. – Wiping tears a scarf, it continued. – And it, cattle! Changed me? And with whom? Some stupid person! Yes without tears you will not look at it. How did he covet such?

I as could, calmed Vera. It was in a hysterics, it is even possible to tell that it had a fit of hysteria. I wanted to tell something to it, something like that that would calm her. But in the head of me there were no acceptable thoughts. In mind only one that it changed it only because it could not conceive the child span. Other thought just was not. I told:

− I understand your state, but you have to get it together and calm down.

− Yes, – Vera answered, – of course. – Wiping tears a kerchief, she told: – I am a pokoyna. – She told this word, "pokoyn" and, having removed a handkerchief, she continued. − Larisa told me how they got acquainted.

To it this story was told by Larisa therefore I will write it without any additions of the facts, the story-teller's invention. So, we will begin.

"Somehow time Larisa came back from study. On the street there was a late spring, soon summer. Larisa, having left work, went to the subway. It reached to the Komsomol station and, having gone out of the subway, passed to ticket offices of the Kazan station. Having bought the ticket to the fifth zone, having passed through turnstiles, climbed steps on the platform; having got into the electric train, she noticed that one pleasant and attractive guy out of the corner of the eye watches it. She did not attach it any significance, just sat at a window and read something. I cannot tell that? But it was by the form possible to tell what she read with pleasure, not just read, and became engrossed in reading of this work. Soon the electric train drove off from the platform of the station, and the woman left, having left the man of one, to wait for the electric train. However, one may say, that this electric train reached to the place of its appointment too. Why he did not sit down on it? It is unclear. Perhaps thought of something, and can just decided not to go by electric train where it is full of the people. Other electric train stood nearby, and it was rather empty and departed in five minutes after this. There passed week. Somehow in one of Fridays the same woman went to Moscow. After long working week today's holiday day was fine! All seemed joyful and beautiful around. Today to institute it went, as to a holiday. However, and study per se was not. Party of colleagues. In the electric train there were a lot of people, all hurried on the affairs. Larisa stood in the platform of the car. In the car there was no place in order that it was possible to sit down there. She looked out of the train door window, heard behind herself a voice. He took an interest what such beautiful girl does here, in the platform of the electric train, but does not go to salon as all others?

− There there is no place, – she answered. – And I do not like to be pushed.

The man looked in inside of the car. There all sat, there was no empty seat.

− it is valid, – the man agreed, – there is no empty seat.

Larisa told:

− Here you see, I appeared the rights. In the car there is no place.

− Nothing, – the man encouraged her. – No matter, is in inside of the car of the place or they are absent. – He looked in her eyes and told it a complement. – You such beautiful! As I saw you, at once decided to get acquainted with you.

Having heard these words, the woman was confused.

− That you? I am beautiful? You confused me.

− Yes. – it continued, – you are pleasant to me. – Then it was presented. − My name is Roman, and you?

− Larisa.

− It is very pleasant.

− to Me too".

− Here so they got acquainted, – the Belief continued the story. – Of course, I could exaggerate something, but I do not want it. Both was, and was.

I listened to her story and thought that this woman perhaps should be uttered only and all. To dump pood from soul and from heart. To alleviate suffering of the mental anguish. I listened carefully to it, and here she told what was then.

− It to it attracted. That day she did not go to institute, she spent time with it. "− Ya I remember, – Larisa said to me, – then I said to girls that I met the guy. They asked me on it all: what does? where does work? whether was at me with it or not? Generally, about everything. – Then she told me: – It was kind and tender with me, drove me in theaters, restaurants, and then I after the termination of institute went to work".

− It was attached to it, as the junior trainee. "− Eto there was, probably, just a destiny! – she spoke to me. – Now I could see it round the clock. As you understand, he began to find for me more time, than usually, and one day I invited him to myself".

The belief made a long long pause. It was difficult to it to speak about it.

− As you understand, from this minute I lost it. She became pregnant from it.

Having listened to her, I analysed all situation, asked:

− you are sure, Roman's child?

The belief for a second thought. She understood what I meant. There are many cases when wives deceive husbands, saying to them that he is the child's father, but not his friend.

− I do not know, – Vera made a helpless gesture. – Larisa claims, it. – Then she added. – It does not awake to do any paternity tests.

− Why?

− He claims when it with it was, for the first time, she was a virgin.

− it is clear.

Let's return on a corporate party where Larisa talks to Vera. She told it this story, without knowing that it also is Roman's wife. And when she learned about it, was already late.

"It approached Larisa with some man. Having seen together Larisa and Vera, he was terrified and told the satellite that he has to talk to women, and that left it.

− Vera? – he was surprised, watching a vacant blank look at the wife, − what you do here? – it translated a view of Larisa. – Did you already get acquainted?

Larisa felt that here something not so. The novel looked confused and obviously did not know what to tell. He was afraid to be mistaken, tell something not that, but, obviously, everything is vain. The belief frowned, it reproachfully looked at the husband.

Without understanding what occurs, Larisa in embarrassment asked.

− you what, are familiar?

The belief victoriously smiled, it rose from a chair and, having taken a glass with clear water, splashed it in a face of the Novel. Then she told only one.

− What you swine. – And these words were pronounced so that from outside it seemed that Vera just spat to it in a face. – Bastard. – She looked on nothing at not understanding Larisa and added. – Silly woman! What you silly woman! If it needed continuation of its sort, then it could go to bank of sperm and, without changing the wife, to continue the sort. – She made a pause. Looking at Larisa, she for some reason felt sorry for her. – Though I have nothing to judge. Arrive as you want, but it also will change you, as well as me. – Here she contemptuously looked at the husband, and then left, having left them alone.

The novel, having watched the wife leave, sat down at a table, took Larisa's hand in the and assured her.

− you have nothing to worry.

Larisa was in perplexity. She could not understand how it could happen? As she in this person did not make out his true essence. Rascal and only. She spent enough time with it to know it better. But how she could not understand its essence? Apparently, the love made the business. She saw in it only the one who loves it, and did not pay attention to all the rest.

She heaved a deep sigh, with great reserve fastened on herself a smile and told:

− Everything is all right, your wife full bitch.

Roman was solidary. He told:

− Now you understand why I get divorced".

− To the next evening I came to the apartment to finish all this, – the Belief continued the story. – Having entered the apartment, I heard some sounds in the bedroom. I passed to the bedroom also saw that is there, in my bed as if the dog, commits adultery my husband. It lay in a bed with two wild orchids. Obviously, it was thrown by Larisa and he invited two prostitutes to my apartment. But I was mistaken. Soon from under a blanket the third woman, the third moth seemed. I did not have enough forces to constrain the anger. I approached a bed and, having thrown out all three from it and that was urine showing a hand the door, bellowed: – Clean up!

I pushed them to an exit door, shouting that they got out from my apartment. I do not remember any more what I told them, I remember only that I with things pushed out them from the apartment, having told that it did not come back any more and that went where far away, to the Larisa.

Having listened to a story of this woman, I promised that I will part them. The fact of treason was available. Her husband changed Vera and he even did not deny it, and the situation with prostitutes could put the end to this history. Also I took an interest whether eats proofs of its treason besides her words?

− This child, – Vera told. – If it it does not do its and any analyses, then let remain with it. He decided the destiny, I on this communication did not push it.

Chapter-3

Idiot

Having come home, Vera called Romana and told him that she files the application for a divorce. Having learned about it, Roman found out who processes their case, and here he knocks at the door of my office.

− It is possible.

− Yes, you enter.

The man entered an office. I do not know why, but it was not pleasant to me at once. It looked as the swine. The haughty bastard who will not miss the and will not allow another to rob himself. Having sat down on a chair, he said to me that it not my business − to interpose in their family matter. He also warned me that I will regret if I part them, having motivated it with what has communications on the top, and he can dismiss me. What I answered.

− Not you hired me, not to you me and to dismiss.

− I what, I do not know that it is your private shop so there is no justice on you? I saw such, take much, and do less than nothing. What, am not I right? How much for you have a reception? Thousand or two? And for services I in general am silent! Do you beggar the person? Until you take off the last shirt, you will make nothing. So how many my wife pays you? I will give more.

These words offended me. For all my short practice nobody reproached me with kopek. I took cheap, but did everything on conscience. The one who was my client was happy with our services, thanked. And this?

I told it that he has no right to offend me and our profession and in general, he has no right to behave so. It is in establishment, and here it is necessary to behave podobayushche, but not as on a market. I also warned him that if he continues to behave in this way, I will be forced to cause protection, and they will forward him from an office and from the building.

It was calmed down. We got to talking, and he told me the story of a divorce, it and Vera. Yes, he loved it, loved strongly, but he could not, could not receive from it the successor. She was infertile. But we already know it. As well as we know that Roman got acquainted with Larisa. Yes, it was with it, was and not once. His wife Vera, though was warm to it and tried to keep the family center, it okholodet to her for a long time. He did not love it, and lived with it unless only because could not tell it that he does not love it any more. Possibly, some feelings to it remained with it, but it is not love.

As for what occurred on the presentation of its new project then there was a following: he did not know that Vera will come to this presentation. It never went with it to similar actions. Who knows what gave it on this presentation: mere curiosity or she wanted to support the husband? It is already unimportant. They met, and it was partly his fault. It had to come together with it, with Vera, Larisa had to stay at home. But he made everything on the contrary and paid for it. Its already shaky marriage was finally destroyed. Vera could not forgive it treason, and having seen it in a bed with prostitutes, it was in rage and came to lawyer office. Roman did not relieve responsibility for an event from himself, but to get divorced? He did not want. It accepted such life. As for the successor? Then everything was solved. Larisa will give birth to it to him, and he in return promised that he will never leave it all alone. He will care for him, for him and for it, for Larisa, swear at his child. So it would also occur if not their meeting. Vera learned everything, and it became a pity for her that Roman did not inform her on the adventure. She can would give to it some advice; but is not present, he made everything in own way, this person. From the party and in reality it changed it, and she it could not forgive. In the conclusion he added that, perhaps, it arrived incorrectly, but he did not want to divorce her.

Having listened to its version which on the truth did not differ from the version of Belief, I asked it? Asked out of curiosity, purely in a feminine way.

− you consider, it is acceptable − to have the wife and the mistress with your child? How you are going to live? The wife on even days of the week, and the mistress on odd? Agree, it is not life. There will pass time, and one of them will tell, choose: it or I. The third is not given.

Having listened to me, Roman thought. He did not know what to tell. What to solve in this situation? The human patience is not boundless, and it, as well as all in this world, has the end. Calming itself a thought that can save this marriage, he told.

− my women not such.

− Unless? – I thought. – I already had pleasure to speak with Vera and I will tell you that she is adjusted to divorce. – Also I added: − I, of course, understand your situation. The wife cannot give birth to you to the successor. What? – I heaved a deep sigh, – eventually, this your business, I do not intend to interfere with it and not my this business. I just want to understand whether it is possible to keep to you marriage or everything is over?

Second having thought, he told.

− Larisa understands me, she will never betray me. – Then he told: − And Vera, she wanted the child. She will understand me.

These words were pronounced by it as if he was sorry about something. He could not tell that he wanted to explain with these words, but it was visible that he regrets for made. It needed the successor, and he will receive it soon, will receive at the price of the marriage. The belief will never forgive him and though it consoled itself(himself) in the return, he knew that it is only illusion: he lost family, destroyed it own hands.

I at it took an interest:

− And you are sure that your child, but not someone?

These words set him thinking. He never assumed that Larisa could deceive him. He was absolutely sure, and to it there was a confirmation − blood on a sheet after their proximity. Yes she also said that it was its the first. Here the thought from which he nearly went crazy came to Roman to mind. What if I really was at it the first, and then she with somebody was and became pregnant? And, having decided to choose between the father of the child and me, she chose him? It, of course, was flattered that she chose it, and there is nobody another. But it thereby destroyed his family! And in this case he could not forgive her. It is good that he is not married to it, and that should be paid at a divorce alimony to foreign child. Roman answered.

− I am sure that I at it was the first.

− Why?

− She was a virgin, – he told, – to it there is a proof.

I smiled.

−Мы, women, we will always find a way to become virgins; if it is necessary for us, we will convince men of it.

Roman thought. He never assumed and in his thoughts it was not that the woman can forge the virginity. However, history knows the facts of a similar lie from a female. But generally it were people from society, so-called women of fashion. They were forced to resort to similar cunnings that their future husbands did not assure themselves that they are cuckolds.

I asked the following question:

− you after the birth of the child awake to do paternity test? – then I added. – Your wife claims that she is not present?

The novel was in confusion. It could not even present that his Larisa is capable of it. He always considered her an innocent lamb. In love with it to unconsciousness the girl, but not there some bitch capable of any meanness. What he was a fool!? It destroyed the happiness and now, perhaps, it will never find it. His belief will not forgive. And will correctly make.

With feeling of a deep regret he asked me.

− What you will advise me?

− I do not even know, – I answered and heaved a deep sigh. – I have no right to you anything to advise, address the psychologist on family questions. It can something will prompt to you what to do in the circumstances. And if it does not help? – I shrugged shoulders. – Well, you come to me, I you will part.

− it is good, I and will arrive, – Roman answered. It was not in itself(himself), appear, that it just about and will fall to a floor, and it will need medical care. – Though, – it threw a hand, – it is absolutely impossible. The belief will never forgive me for what I changed it.

He felt ill at ease. It seemed, he wanted to return back everything, to change everything, to modify everything in the life. But it was impossible: what is made, made, and there is no way back. He got up because of a table and went to an exit. There was it quietly as if unwillingly. It seemed that he does not want to leave this office, does not want to return to reality. In that reality which he to himself created and which simply destroyed its marriage.

− Yes, – I advised it when he approached to the entrance door, – after all, make the analysis of DNA on paternity.

That turned back and only shook the head in agreement. Then it left my office and closed behind itself(himself) a door.

Having remained one, I long thought over what men after all fools. We, women, give them everything. Caress, heat, we care for them. Obstiryvay them, we prepare. And they do not appreciate it. They should satisfy only the male vanity, to prove to other man that it is better than it, and for this purpose they remove prostitutes or bring mistresses. Than just to stay at home and enjoy life? And then at a divorce still are indignant why we take away from them everything? Yes for it all will be a little! Cables. You will not find other word.

The novel, having left an office, thought that, perhaps, this woman is right, Larisa, perhaps, wants to zakhomutat it and to attach to herself this child.

− Bough. What it bough, – he thought. – A bough, a bough also is.

Chapter-4

Larisa's history

It is time to get acquainted closer with Larisa. Who such this woman? Roman saw it the kind and loving woman. Even virgin. But who such actually Larisa? Now we learn it. So?

Larisa. She lived with the old grandma in the village of settlement type. Why in the village of settlement type? You ask, and will not keep itself to wait for the answer. In it, as well as in the village, all knew everything about all. Secrets were not. Rumors turned into gossips, and gossips − in the history which could not be disproved. As they say, prove that you not a donkey − a donkey all the same will remain, and it at best.

Her parents died in plane crash, and since its birth about school years it was under supervision of the grandma. Then her grandma got sick. At it legs refused, and then paralysis of its right side came. She could not move a hand and a leg, now she did not get up, and behind her special leaving was required.

Then there were services of guardianship at their place. They wanted to take away little Larisa in orphanage, and to attach her grandma in a clinic. It was so favorable to all, but not Larisa. She did not want to go to orphanage and the more so did not want to leave the grandma. She wanted to live here, in the house. To go every day to school and to look after the only thing in the life the only native person close to it. But it was impossible. For the girl who just passed into the second class this there were only dreams. So it got to orphanage, her grandma was placed in clinic where in a week died. Their house was taken by the state, and Larisa remained one. It had neither a house, nor relatives, nor means of livelihood. She had to spend eleven long years in orphanage until she was adopted. Upon termination of institute as to the young specialist nevertheless provided it a separate living space. It was the house with the site in a solitude of one of settlements of Ramensky district. What settlement? Perhaps, I will refrain from comments not to be unfair to other villages of settlement type.

So, Larisa was a well-educated girl. She lived by rules as it was always taught in orphanage. But nevertheless something from its biography should be told in more detail. Somehow time when Nina Mikhaelovna Lopukhova sat on a bench and, watching for children, with pleasure dragged on cigarette smoke, Larisa saw how other girl who was called Alice sat one somewhere aside on a bench. She with anybody did not communicate and did not look at anybody. Only drew something on the earth a small stick. Larisa approached her.

− Hello, my name is Larisa, and you?

The girl, drawing on the earth something a stick and not tearing off the look from it, answered.

− Alice.

Larisa sat down nearby, asked:

− Why you do not play with all girls?

What that answered:

− I love loneliness.

− What the loneliness means? – Larisa was surprised. – You that with anybody you do not communicate?

That heaved a deep sigh.

− with anybody, – she confirmed and with bitterness added: – I all life one, me was handed over in orphanage when I was seven years old. I was a burden for the parents. – She made a long pause and sorrowfully added. – However, I even did not know them.

Larisa with understanding looked at Alice. She though knew that it to live without parents, but her parents died in road accident, and Alisina somewhere lived. They threw the daughter and lived without her. They did not even regret that their daughter lives in a distance from a native home. They were afraid of it, were afraid of its return that she learns where they live and as it would not be awful, will revenge them. Alice was an unusual child. It had paranormal abilities, it was capable to inspire in other people that it was necessary for it. In other words, it had an ability to telekinesis. From where did it have this ability? Nobody knew.

− They gave you at the birth?

− Is not present, – Alice answered, – said to me that they threw me when I went to the first class. You represent, in seven years at me went monthly, – Alice admitted, – and I began to feel what nobody could feel.

− That it? – with obvious interest Larisa asked. – Did you change? How?

− I did not understand what happens to me, – Alice continued to speak. – But I began to understand that I can operate people.

− to Operate people? – Larisa did not understand. – It as?

Alice explained:

− I can inspire to whom you want that you want, and this person will carry out only my will. – She made a pause, then she added: – Scientists call this ability telekinesis.

− Telekinesis? – Larisa was surprised. – Do you at the age know such grown wise words as telekinesis?

− I know a lot of things, – Alice told and, having looked at the tutor Nina Mikhaelovna Lopukhova, told: – Here you see, Nina Mikhaelovna, sits on a bench, smokes. She does not care for anybody. She wants that there came the quiet time, and all of us would go to sleep, and she will go to the senior group to boys and will meet one of young men. She wants it, and it her, – she made a pause, then continued, – but it only desire, – Alice told. – Nina Mikhaelovna does not love this young man, he is necessary to her, only to derive pleasure.

Larisa took an interest.

− you what you mean?

Alice accurately and distinctly answered:

− Sex.

− Sex?

− Yes, – Alice confirmed. – She sleeps with him. And what? It by sight is no more than thirty five has some, and to it eighteen.

− From where you know it?

− I See, – Alice answered. – I just see it.

− you See? – Larisa was surprised. – But how?

− I told you that I not such as all. I just it see also all here. – Here she took an interest: – Do you want to be convinced of truthfulness of my words?

Larisa shrugged shoulders.

− I trust you, – she told. – But if it you want?.

− it is good, – Alice answered, – you look.

It translated the view of Nina Mikhaelovna Lopukhova. That also sat on a bench, smoked. Her thoughts were far from the children playing a row. They were somewhere away, she did not worry about anything, only dreamed. Dreamed, enjoying sweet taste of death. Suddenly she involuntarily looked at the children playing not the background and, having counted them, she understood that one girl is not enough. Whom did not it get? Alice? No, not it. Larisa? Too not. Then whom it did not get? To Vick. The girl from group in which there was also Larisa. Larisa saw how having quickly extinguished a cigarette, Lopukhova called to Vika and, looking quickly extensively, tried to find out it. She ran on the platform, asking children, they did not see Vika? Those stupidly looked at it and observed how Lopukhova runs here and there, trying to find for Vika. But its attempts were vain. She did not see it and did not see Alice sitting nearby, and with it and Larisa. She saw in Larisa Vick and, having run up to it, sat down on hunkers and, having taken it for shoulders, told.

− More so do not do, Vika. I for you got a fright to death. Do you know, that here this placed that if you got to it? What then? Larisa was surprised. It never before with anybody was confused. And it was impossible to confuse. They with Vika were absolutely different girls. Even it was impossible to call them twins. They were absolutely different two girls, not only on appearance, but also on character. Larisa was the quiet girl, and about such as Vika, told only one: tear off and throw. What did it mean? This is Vika did not understand. Though guessed that this expression to it clung because of its character which really was not a gift. Larisa a little bit was frightened, on her face surprise appeared. She made the glotatelny movement and told that she regrets for the incident, and the fact that it will not run away far from the playground any more. Then Nina Mikhaelovna took Larisa by hand and led it far away from this place, back on the playground.

The children watching this absurd laughed, but Lopukhova heard nothing. She conducted Larisa and, thinking that it − is Vika, told her the following:

− you behaved badly, and I want to adopt her. As I will be able to make it if you − the disobedient girl, and disobedient are not necessary to me.

Larisa looked back. She saw Alice observing all this situation from outside. It seemed that nobody saw it. Alice sat on a bench one and looked at Larisa leaving afar.

Next day Alice sent from orphanage in the specialist institution which studies similar cases of children's mentality. But I nevertheless am sure that instead of Alice they took absolutely other child, and Alice left. It disappeared from a look. Having left behind only reminiscence.

As for Larisa, she was adopted by Lopukhova. After Alice ceased to use on Lopukhova the force, she told Larisa:

− Vika was adopted, I would like that you became me if not the daughter, then younger sister.

− Why I?

− Larisa, – beginning to smoke a cigarette, with care there began Nina Mikhaelovna, – I cannot have children and therefore I work in orphanage. All of you are my children, but I would like to have the lawful daughter. – She made an inhaling, and continued. – To me you attracted with Vika here. Frankly speaking, I wanted to adopt both of you, but my financial position does not allow me to adopt more than one child. – She made a pause, made an inhaling and continued. – Yes, I am not ideal. Here you see, I smoke. But believe me, it will not prevent me to love you. – She made an inhaling again. – Think, you would like to live how you live now, or will go with me? At me the house with the site, clean air what else it is necessary for life?

Larisa agreed. But before she asked:

− Tell why the first Vika, but not I?

Nina Mikhaelovna told nothing distinct. She shrugged shoulders and told only one:

− I do not know. You to liking to me both, but why first Vika, but not you?. – Nina Mikhaelovna finished smoking a cigarette and, having extinguished it, told. – I ask, do not call me Nina Mikhaelovna.

− And how to me to call you?

− Just Nina, – Nina Mikhaelovna answered, – or just mother.

There passed time, Larisa grew up, blossomed, graduated from the institute and went to work as the junior trainee.

Somehow time she met the girlfriend on orphanage. This was Vika. She invited her to herself to the apartment, Larisa agreed. Yes, whatever you may say? Life cheerful piece. One gives everything, to others − nothing. And happened to Vika, she was lucky! She extended the lottery ticket and won. Now she was married to one businessman, gave birth to him to three daughters and lived happily. Driving about on the city on Peugeot, she did not work anywhere, went on expensive shops and salons, directing maraft and spending the money earned with the husband. The husband always took it with himself abroad, and there she had a rest, had a rest after receptions on which the husband took it. And what from life still it is necessary? Walk, have fun and sing.

Larisa told about the life. She did not complain of her, and was grateful to her that the destiny reduced it with Nina. She made of her the person. The hardworking, not afraid of difficulties woman. And when Vika took an interest as at Larisa of business on the family front, she told that she got acquainted recently with the young man who to it is nice.

Vika immediately blurted out:

− It is nice? – she began to smoke a cigarette. – Well and its zakhomutayta, in what a problem?

− In anything, – she heaved a deep sigh, and then admitted: – I am still a virgin.

Having heard this recognition, Vika was surprised. She never before for the life saw anybody that at this age not to lose virginity. She lost it after her stepbrother, having come home is not able to connect two words at all and being angry very much because his girlfriend remained not satisfied with him, he drove all the rage on Vick, and that for the first time learned that such violence and sex. She became pregnant and in five months lost the child. Unplanned and undesirable pregnancy was interrupted. Unfortunately, the tyrant was not attracted to the answer, and Vika was told that if she does not want problems, then she will tell nothing, and for it she will remain in this family and it will not be sent to the street, to orphanage where life is worse, than at them. Vika agreed to be silent, she did not want neither on the street, nor in orphanage. She wanted to live, live as she wanted, to have money and the power. After this case she swore that more nobody will disturb it, nobody will touch it without it on that izvoleniye. Now she will choose, GDE, KOGDA, I SKEM? to do to it in this life, life full of violence and the conflicts.

Somehow time she accidentally got on a fashion show and there met Robert. They were similar at each other, only one distinguished them: Robert was rich, and Vick is absent −. But she solved this problem. She became pregnant from it, at the same time claimed and he saw it that Vika was a virgin. How so did it turn out? Probably, this act happened when at women monthly? And Vika can thought up what else, goodness knows? But everything ended with a wedding. Obviously, Robert never learns who the father of her children. It? Someone else? And if he nevertheless learns? It is unlikely he will want to lose the state and to give it to other people's children. Told this story of the biography of Vick to Larisa.

Larisa, listening to this story with bated breath, could not believe that she is capable of it. It was it in wildness. She could not believe that Vika was capable of it, and said in low tones.

− But same deception? How could you go to it?

Vika only grinned.

− Deception? No, I call it not deception, but benefit for myself, – made the next inhaling, enjoying cigarette smoke, she told: – No matter, that there who thinks of me, – she told. – The main thing that children are happy and will not need anything. And all the rest – it otmakhnut a hand, – so, one illusion of the better life. Who told that in marriage happiness?

Larisa shrugged shoulders.

− Well?

− you have no children yet, – Vika continued, – and when you have them, you remember my words. The main thing − is children, and for the sake of them mothers will be ready to do anything that they were happy and did not need anything not that we.

Larisa did not argue with Vika, she understood that in something she is right. Start up not in everything, but in the main thing, this main thing. The main thing, is children, and for the sake of them mothers will be ready to do anything that they were happy, and did not need anything. These words were a synonym maternal happiness what woman would not be.

But we will return to the apartment to Vika, the conversation of two women got new turn. Vika offered Larisa the following:

− you Know, today we have a party whether you want to take a walk at it? "Maybe you will find somebody?" – Vika ambiguously told. – Nobody knows who knows?" Maybe destiny to smile to you?

− Is not present, − Larisa answered. – Parties not for me.

− Why?

− I consider that, at these parties only dirt and platitude, and more than nothing.

− And you, so not such?

− What not such? – Larisa did not understand. – You it about what?

Vika answered the following:

− the Virgin of twenty two years living by the rules. See what girlfriend that tell, all not so. – On her face there was a hated grin. It seemed that she will begin to hate the interlocutor finally. – You live by rules and in poverty. Unless it is life? – she told with a smile. – Look at yourself, poverty! Do you say now that all that I made − incorrectly? And be at you such chance, you would grasp it, and all your correctness will appear in a toilet bowl. – She for nervousness began to smoke a cigarette. – You do not know what is the real life, and would know, so did not speak, – it finished the level speech. Then added, kind of encouraging her. – Happy you Larisk! – and then kind of in accidentally asked. – Do you have everything for happiness?

Larisa heaved a deep sigh. She could not admit that she is happy: she was unfortunate. To it, as well as all women, there was a wish for simple love and happiness. The truth her happiness was in becoming as this woman, successful and beautiful. Larisa envied it, she wanted that she to it as well as Vika, smiled happiness, and she did not run for work any more, and would stay at home with kids, to drive about worldwide at the expense of the husband. But she never would admit to nobody it, even under terrible torture of death.

−Да, – Larisa lay, and heaved a deep sigh. – I have everything.

But by the form it was not so. She was unfortunate, and it could be caught in her look.

− Is not present, – with full confidence Vika said. – You are unfortunate. You see me, want the same what and I, the authorities. Not happiness, namely the power and that to prove it to you, you have to remain on a party. Agree?

Larisa purely out of female curiosity took an interest.

− There though there will be decent guys?

Vika smiled.

− I Assure you, there will be everything: both binge, and guys for every taste. Choose − I do not want.

Party. What can be told about it? Party as party. Guests listened to music, had fun. Someone sang something on a karaoke. Someone retired to the bedroom. Men spoke about business, policy, about financially unstable situation in the world. One of attendees said that now the financial position is not stable, hardly somebody will want to run business with someone now. The second man did not agree with the opponent, he said that the financial position is stable today and that he invested money in one enterprise and waits for profit. On what the third opponent said that it is the best of all to invest money in the business and with anybody not to deal. All opponents agreed with this thesis.

But we will return to Larisa. Where it? One sits, misses. It was not interesting to it to be present at similar parties. She agreed to go to her only as agreed upon the girlfriend. She nevertheless wanted to find happiness, but how to find it? Larisa did not know it. Here the elderly man sat down at its table, it seemed to it disgusting and disgusting. His face was not pleasant to it, on the contrary, it expressed a toshnotvornost. Understand it as you want, I write as I see and I perceive this or that person. All of us are different, and not to me to judge other people if they cause in me contempt and disgust. But we will continue. Having sat down at my little table, he looked round and asked:

− I here never saw you, you the acquaintance Vicki or her husband, Robert?

− I am acquaintance Vicki, – Larisa told and added: – She invited me.

− And, clearly, – he told, and then it was presented. – My name is Victor, and you?

− Larisa.

− Very pleasantly Larisa.

− And me, Victor.

They got to talking. They had a lot of bigger, than it was possible to imagine. For example, both of them were single and lonely. But unlike Larisa Victor was a widower. His wife died in plane crash two years ago, and now it searching. Of course, he could marry, but nobody loved him, all needed only its money, and anything else.

Larisa almost told nothing about herself. She was afraid that she will tell superfluous and by that will bring Vika.

− Yes, you not the talkative woman? At you you will try to find out nothing.

− It is a complement?

− Certainly yes. – He took her wrist in the hand, and told. – You are beautiful! Such women are pleasant to me.

Larisa was flattered told. She seldom heard from men that she is a clever woman. Though if the man speaks to you about it, then he considers you the full silly woman. Larisa with care took an interest.

− What such? – and then added, kind of reproachfully: – Silly?

− That you? – Victor was surprised. – I meant nothing similar. What you the silly woman if you keep the mouth shut? Other girlfriend would blurt out everything about the girlfriend now, and you do not.

Larisa thought.

− It is a complement?

− If you want, then yes. – Then he suggested to walk. Here it already found what looked for. Larisa fascinated him. He, strangely enough, was happy that he got acquainted with it. Walking on streets of Moscow, they long spoke on interesting them equally topics. There came night, but they did not notice it. They walked on the night city and enjoyed each other conversation. But here they approached hotel. Already dawned.

− Dawns, – Victor told. – As time quickly flies. Did not manage to leave Robert's apartment as already dawns.

− Time, it quickly runs, will not even notice.

Victor agreed with it. He as nobody knew how time quickly flies. It runs, and do not keep up with it. Who knows how many to us it is released time? Some do not appreciate it, and some simply wave on it a hand and only in old age understand that time − this only thing that at them remained. Death, time stops and, eventually … the last hour, the end soon.

Biological clock has the time too. It much less, than life cycle of time therefore women hurry to become pregnant. They look for any ways it to make and, eventually, find. Whether there was something between Victor and Larisa, do not know. I think that the man the woman go to hotel not in order that to speak about something.

Larisa took an interest.

− you live here?

− Well you! For whom do you hold me? I live absolutely not here, just I arrived on affairs.

I do not know that Larisa felt then. Pain? Offense? Something else can. But she then told:

− I considered that all of you the decent person.

Victor grinned.

− And what you think, you really are pleasant to me? Do not forget the place, a knot. – He made a pause and asked: – Well you go? – Then he kind of with a smile added: − be not afraid, I will not offend.

Larisa immediately left the hotel foyer. She ran out on the street and ran somewhere in darkness. Down the street, badly lit with light. Here it stopped. She had no place to run more. It was at the dark deadlock. Around darkness, only there, in the distance, someone's shadow.

After this case Larisa never met Vika. For it it became the enemy No 1. To so set up the girlfriend? It is necessary to be true suky.

Chapter-5

Letters to …

Maybe this history took place, can and is not present? Can Larisa raped in the lane, and can and is not present? All this consigns to the past. Let's return to the present. What's next?

Roman came back home. He was angry. Being angry with itself, he could not understand how occurred as really happened. He overslept with the woman, with the trainee. That destroyed its marriage. Roman was angry with everything and on all. Who can understand these men? Than they think, having seen a female body? Some of them immediately conduct women in a bed, some only conduct them in restaurants, and they are necessary to some for the sake of numerous receptions to which you will not come without ladies. There are those who only sleep with them, without obligations, without something. Rum, or is just a way to give to her child his name? It is not known whether she was a virgin or not? And she can became pregnant from someone another, at the same time her virginity was not disturbed? It can be actually, and cases such took place in the history of medicine. Yes, doubts were proved. Roman did not know to whom and what to trust? He did not know in general as further to it to arrive, and wrote the letter of the mother.

The letter to mother

Hello, dear mother! How are you doing? How are you? I hope, you are healthy? Forgive that did not write you so long. It is a pity that you cannot arrive to me. Here it is good. However, if you want, then I will arrive to you to the village. I hope, economy as it should be.

But I will pass to business. I had a problem. As you know, Vera cannot have children. Treatment is useless, and the successor and the successor of our sort has to be. Therefore I got acquainted with one charming girl and was with her. And it is with me. By the way, she was a virgin. But there was what I call a discrepancy. My wife Vera absolutely accidentally on one of receptions got acquainted with Larisa. That woman who from me became pregnant. She told my wife the story, and that, having learned that, all this history concerned it, filed the application for a divorce. When I came to the lawyer, she told that my business smells fried that it that Larisa was already pregnant is possible and, having overslept with me, she only wants to attach me to herself and to give to the child my surname. Mother! What will you advise me in this case?

Your son Roman.

The letter from mother to the son

Hello, sonny. I am surprised that you remembered me for these two years. You − complete fool. Was born the fool, the fool you live and you will die too, obviously, the fool. You what you think? Your adventures will not remain unaddressed on the left? You are mistaken. It is necessary to pay for everything, and you! You are not able to cover up tracks. I so understand that they met on the presentation? Yes, more them had no place to meet. Yes they also did not meet if on this chertova the presentation you would not take this Larisa. You know, the sort is, and the wife should pay attention too. She would also not learn about Larisa if you, the fool, took the wife, the fool, on this chertova the presentation, the fool. And now that? Write me? Means, council was necessary? In two years lines and as the fried rooster in a bum pecked, so all of you home, to mother to be cried in a skirt you run. What? I what not so I tell? I speak truly. To you, children, it could not care less of us, the head you live and how what? So you run in a home. But where it at you, this house?

But it is fine, talked, unburdened the heart and will be enough. Give about business. You are afraid that not your child? Yes, women when the uterine film is torn already at the child's birth can have it. Also maybe it that the uterine film is torn not at once, and after the second or third sexual intercourse. These are the rare occurences, but they are. Therefore, unfortunately, who the child's father, can know only mother. My council: wait for the birth of the child and make the analysis of DNA, though it does not give a guarantee.

Your loving mother.

Letter of Hope to Belief

Belief, hello! Writes you Roman's mother. How are you doing? Heard that you swore and divorced my son. I, of course, am not excited about its act, but, understand and you are it. These words, of course, can offend you, but he, as well as many men, wants continuation some kind of. I in a coma time do not want to tell that you, Vera, will never have children. Of course, you will have them, I do not doubt it. The medicine does not stand still and as it will not seem cruelly, but adoption could save your marriage too. But now not about it. My son takes concerning the incident hard. I, of course, do not acquit him, but it if everything could be returned back, then he would make it. In the conclusion I wanted to ask you to talk to my son. Perhaps, for both of you not all is lost, and it is possible to save your marriage still.

Yours faithfully, Nadezhda.

Letter of Belief to Hope

Dear Nadezhda. I, of course, understand that you − mother also care for the son. I am a woman too and I understand you, but you understand me, understand my position. I as you mentioned in the letter to me, will never be able to become pregnant. Agree, for the woman it is a grief, and to remind her of it on extremely measure dishonourably. But I understand you, and obviously you wrote these lines out of despair.

You would like that I talked to Roman. I, of course, could talk to it, but what's the use? He made the Choice and it has no way back. I always wanted and I want children, even at one time suggested Roman to adopt the child, but he − the guy rested also said only that he wants the child from the seed, and then it is possible and to adopt. Yes, of course, the seed, this.

Yours faithfully Vera.

Letter of Hope to Belief

Dear Vera. I apologize if offended you, I assure that it left accidentally. None of us are perfect. All of us make mistakes. My son, as you understand, not an exception. Unless in your life there were no mistakes? Of course and. However, can be, they were not so obvious, but they were.

Tell how many we, women, want warmth and love how many women raise the children all alone? How many women want for children of the better life? Do you consider that I not without sin? You are mistaken, it not so. I married when I already was about to give birth. Somewhere on the third weeks of pregnancy. Yes, my husband to death thought that Roman his son, and only on the deathbed Illarion learned the truth. Do you ask to what I write it to you? The matter is that Roman doubts that he is the child's father, and I support him. I would have a girl, I would tell her that she did not miss chance and married some businessman. But I have a boy and I do not want that some prostitute twisted him.

You know, each other there are already a lot of years. You know who what wants in this or that situation. Agree that it is better to keep for both of you marriage, than to terminate it and then to feel sorry about it for all life.

PS: I wrote to you a story of the birth of Roman. He does not know that he is not Illarion's son. I ask to keep it in secret.

Yours faithfully Nadezhda.

E-Male: Vera's letter to Larisa

Larisa. Vera, Roman's wife writes you. Be not surprised that I know your E-Male the address. Roman gave me it. I write you because I want to talk to you, let's meet and we will discuss current situation. How his wife, I would like to know what you are going to do further? Agree that in the situation which developed for both of us we should discuss further.

I well understand that you now in situation. I am sure that your pregnancy proceeds well, and that a fruit in a full order. I hope, the child will be born healthy, and there who knows?

Yours faithfully Vera.

E-Male: Larisa's letter to Vera

Hello, Vera. How are you, health? Always there is something that women see from a distance, can assess this or that situation. I understand your desire to return Roman, but he mine, I expect from it a baby, and it will connect us forever. As for your preventions, you are mistaken, to intimidate me there is no sense. I am not afraid of difficulties and to frighten me there is no sense. Agree, is fully on that examples that at absolutely healthy people children with these or those deviations and vice versa are born. Never you will guess what child will be born. If its sex can be defined on a stomach, then the answer about his health will be given only by ultrasonography. However, I understand you, you love it. You love though it changed you. But believe, I here at all not and: when I learned everything, I already was in the family way. He deceived me and only used a situation. He very much wanted children, and I will give him to him. I regret that you can have no children. But do not despair, adoption − too an exit.

Yours faithfully Larisa.

The letter to mother Mother! Recently I was in clinic, made tests and underwent annual inspection at doctors. Besides all analyses I made ultrasonography of an abdominal cavity and a prostate gland. I want to tell at once that the result did not please me. Found prostatitis and adenoma of a prostate in me. The doctor-surgeon channelized me to the urologist, and that in turn directed me to make additional analyses which were worse, than ultrasonography. Having looked at these analyses, I was terrified. The matter is that prostatitis, influenced my genital function, and I am infertile now. I do not know when it occurred? But I think, з long before I overslept with Larisa. Here what confusion came out. I wanted the child from the seed, and it is fruitless. The doctor told that it was still possible to bring children two years ago, but not now, late.

I do not know how to tell about it to Vera? She will never forgive me. I descended on the left, thought that my seed will continue my sort, and it is absent also. It turned out that I just changed it, changed the person loving me. Whether she will forgive me, I do not know?

Your son Roman.

Letter of mother to the son

The son, I understand your situation. Not everyone will decide to admit to himself that it is fruitless. Most often people go on the street and sleep with prostitutes or bring mistresses, as occurred in your case.

Obviously, at the subconscious level you knew that that you with Vera can have no children, it partly and your fault. Therefore you got acquainted with other woman and, having satisfied the men's instincts, you did not even notice how you were the father of other child. Did you always want the and where it? If you are infertile, then?.

I advise you to talk to Vera. I do not know, she can will forgive you, and can and is not present. It depends on you.

Your mother.

Letter of Hope to Belief.

Hello Vera! I write you this letter because the new circumstance which can try on partly you with Roman became clear. Business is that my son underwent annual inspection recently. Kind of to tell it more softly? Found infertility in it. Two years ago it could conceive still, but not now. So Larisa cannot carry the child Roman in any way. It is simply impossible.

I know that you are angry on it, but one problem, and me seems, the most important, is solved. Roman is not a father of the child of Larisa. She, obviously to all this invented. She is pregnant, but only not from it. I hope, my information shed light on current situation.

Yours faithfully, Nadezhda.

Letter of Belief to Hope

Hello Nadezhda. Thank you for information. I regret that Roman was infertile. All the life I blamed only myself for what I cannot present to it the child whom he so wanted. Now I understand that business was in both of us. For all these years of our matrimony never the expert had him, never made tests. Here and result. Perhaps, he could conceive the child if do not accuse of everything me one and in time addressed the expert. But now? To become after everything full-fledged family? Do you know how it is difficult?

I want to return it, but whether he will want to return to me? It changed? I can and forgave him if not … I how many times I told him about adoption, and it? He did not want anything to listen about it, he went on one that wants own child, not the adopted child, and here result. It is fruitless, the child whom it allegedly conceived appeared not it. Yes, life − is difficult piece. It punishes us for our sins, and we can make nothing with it. Roman wanted reproduction, I do not blame him. Everyone wants the posterity. But at least he could tell about it to me? I would understand it, and advised something as a last resort. And he made everything itself and paid for it. It I cannot forgive it.

Yours faithfully, Vera.

Letter of Hope to Belief

I understand you as nobody. It is hard to forgive treason. But try to talk to my son at least for a start. I am sure that he will ask for you forgiveness. I do not know whether you forgive him, but I will become sure of one − after this conversation to you to two easier.

Yours faithfully, Nadezhda.

Letter of the Novel to Belief

Vera! My dear Vera! I long did not decide to write you this letter, but nevertheless after long crisis I write you these lines. Of course, you can not read this letter and throw out it on a garbage can. But listen to me before finally deciding that to us to do next.

You know that I always wanted the child. Wanted so strongly that did not see anything further own nose. I will not tell that only I was mistaken in this situation, we were mistaken in it together. You as well as I, wanted children, even wanted to adopt. But I always wanted own child; probably, God solved differently. Now I understood that he, perhaps, tested us, wanted to check our love not only to each other, but also to children. He wanted to learn, we are capable to fall in love with foreign child before bringing the. Agree, to love foreign child much more difficult, than own. Though sometimes native flesh and blood becomes worse, than the stranger.

Forgive me, expensive! If it is possible, let's start everything anew. As for my child from Larisa, it not mine. Recently I made the analysis on the spectrogram, and I was told that I am infertile on extremely measure two years. Ever since as we tried to bring with you the child.

Forgive me, expensive! Let's meet, we will talk.

Your Roman.

Vera Roman's letter

My dear former hubby, I am surprised that after you changed me with this, you dared to write me and to apologize? What you made, incorrigibly. You betrayed our love. Crushed it during that instant as went to bed to this… What? Now you understood? I hope that we, women, artful bitches. We always wish the fact that we want, and we receive it always.

Tell that our union meant to you? We spent a lot of time together. Really for all spent years you did not understand whatever was family, it always remains family. Of course, we had disputes, we could not come to unambiguous opinion, but all this trifles. It is only life. Family − here that the most important in life. Tell, tell if not to me, then yourself: what for you family? Only an empty phrase or something else? Really you did not understand that there is a family?

Do you say that you are infertile? But you all this time were sure of the return that it I, but not you are infertile. You forced me to be treated, of course, I and made and to your data recovered half a year ago. I wanted to report about it to you, but you did not want to listen to me, all blamed me for my not reproductive capacity, and it appeared, you are infertile, but not I. But the most ridiculous in this situation even not it, but the fact that you marry the woman who will hang up on you not your child. There is a hokhma! You wanted the, and received the stranger. Here life what! She all the same will achieve the. Laughter and only.

Belief.

Letter of the Novel to Belief

I of course understand your irony, I on your place arrived, probably, also. But in vain you are so. Life already punished me for my treachery. You are right, Vera, I did not appreciate what I had, and for it paid. You cannot believe how to me precisely. You are right, I grew blind. But I wanted just continuation some kind of! What in it bad? Of course, I not the Saint, but also you not sacred. I know about your affair with Victor. I know that you got acquainted on the presentation of its project, prior to Larisa's meeting with me. What? Thought, I do not learn? What, it was better than me or you were flattered on its state? You spoke about values of family and marriage, but neglect them.

Novel.

Vera Roman's letter

You are right, I met Victor on his presentation, but I with him did not change you. I very much love you to change you with it and with somebody.

This was only the presentation and only, I assure you, only it nothing any more. I with it had nothing, only a business meeting.

Vera who is still loving you.

Vera Roman's letter

The novel, I, of course, could tell that you became indifferent for me, but it not so. I, as before, love you though you also changed. But in it there is also my fault. It was necessary to tell you at once that I am healthy. Perhaps, all this problem then would not be. Yes, I am guilty of this situation and I do not exculpate with myself. It is possible if I told the truth, then all this situation was not.

You wanted to meet and talk, let's meet on our place. I hope, you remember where?

Vera who is still loving you.

Letter of Belief to Hope.

Dear Nadezhda, at your request I will meet your son and mine still the husband Roman. I do not promise that we will reconcile. Treason − is treason, and it is not so simple to forgive it.

I will report to you about our conversation with Roman in one of the following letters. I hope that he realizes that he made and will ask for me forgiveness. I, perhaps, will forgive him, but it only words. So, I defined to you nothing promise. I love your son and I do not blame him for what it changed me.

Yours faithfully, Vera.

The woman sat at herself in the room in a chair, watched TV. It was outside the window cloudy, thunderclouds sent all sky. The sun was not visible because of clouds. The rain, outside the window poured a rain. The woman read the letter. The hope put it aside, with relief sighed. She achieved the. The conversation between her son and Vera will take place. She was happy with it. The hope is not lost, can still change, and the family will reunite again. What can be finer, than a home? In my opinion, nothing the best can be. So consider many, including I so consider.

However, somebody can thinks differently? You speak about it, you express the opinion.

Chapter-6

Relative

Today good sunny day, after a yesterday's rain the nature recovered around. In the wood birds sang, morning dew on trees and bushes covered foliage with droplets of the night expected to fall rain. Clean air, the seven-color rainbow played in the sky, announcing fine weather and good joyful day.

I stayed at home on a terrace of my country. I had an excellent mood, just remarkable. Today Friday. End of working week. And at me it begins today. Having visited office in the forenoon, I stopped sorting correspondence and, having looked in the magazine of record of clients, I did not find there anybody to whom I could make an appointment for today. Day was so to speak, is empty, and I went to myself to the dacha to the village. It was by the Kazan railroad, on the Kurovsky branch of the railroad. It is the Shevlyagiino station. There I had a certain house with the site. The kitchen garden, the potato. What else is necessary? Around wood, nearby railroad. The truth the electric train goes once an hour, and even in general is cancelled. And so always. Who lives on this branch of the railroad, all the life is abused by the government and the Russian Railway that they cannot normally organize to them driving through this direction. And what's the use? Everything remains still: the electric train, both went once an hour, and there goes once an hour, and that will be cancelled.

But for the rest here it is good. In Kuzyaevo the church is near. The truth the plant in Kuzyaevo sometimes cuts the cheese, but where there are no plants?

Today to me there has to arrive mother. If not to cancel the electric train, then it will arrive at fourteen hours fifty minutes. And if is not present, then, obviously, only by the evening, at seventeen hours nineteen minutes. Yes, electric trains go here very seldom, to so send everything, and… But it, however, quite another thing so we will not distract and we will continue this history.

The Shevlyagino station was approached by the electric train, doors opened, and of the second car towards area went out the woman. By sight she was no more than forty years old. She was a beautiful and attractive woman. Her well-fed and sexual breast, her thick and long hair − all this said that it was in the prime of life. Called her Ekaterina Dmitriyevna.

I was glad to her arrival though time already about six in the evening; I was always glad when it came to the village. City problems all were forgotten, we could talk, about anything, nobody disturbed us here.

Today Ekaterina Dmitriyevna arrived to the village because it was bothered by city life with her cares, efforts. She wanted rest and silence. To depart from city problems and to enjoy rural air of hens and pigs.

She told me that recently she met Vika. For all that time when she did not see it, Ekaterina Dmitriyevna said to me, Vika got prettier and blossomed. She became the beautiful and attractive woman. She married the oligarch and lives now in clover, without knowing any cares. When she asked it how it managed it? Vika bragged that once she got acquainted with Alice. Once that told it that her happiness is nearby that it should be seen only. Vika then did not understand what Alice meant, and having only seen decoration of Lozan, she felt how they attract it, it could not tear off from them a look. They bewitched her. Vika wanted to buy them, but she had no so much money. Then Alice offered it the bargain which was concluded that Alice will present to Vika this jewelry, and that, in turn, will swear that never and will tell nobody from where they at it. That agreed. Soon jewelry made the business. Vika became rich, married and gave rise. However, from whom she gave rise? Still remains a riddle.

But however, I will continue. Vika told me this story because it about it was asked by Alice. It from where knew that I want from life, and it gave me that I wanted.

− What is it?

− Beauty, – Ekaterina Dmitriyevna answered. – It gave me beauty. Now I will never grow old, in the general understanding of this word. – Ekaterina Dmitriyevna lit and, having released a stream of dense smoke, continued. – I, of course, will grow old, but also in hundred years I will look much much younger.

I was surprised. Her words threw me into confusion. How it is possible that the person did not grow old? Same not the fantastic movie and not the novel by Oscar Wilde "The Picture of Dorian Gray" where not the person, and his portrait grew old. Though? You never can tell? As I understood, this jewelry can give much and nothing. Everything depends on desire and ambitions of that person who owns this jewelry. But whether Vika owns them? I asked it this question and received the following answer.

− As to me it was told, ornament choose to themselves those people who really want to receive something from life. They give us that we wish, and punish us if we wish more and more. Everything cannot be received. – Nina made the next inhaling and, having exhaled a smoke stream from the sexual lips, continued. – Who does not understand it, that will not be able long to store this jewelry. They choose the owner and remain with him to his death.

− And later?

− Look for another. More ambitious, than previous.

− you consider yourself ambitious?

− Is not present.

− Then whom you consider yourself?

Nina finished smoking a cigarette.

− We consider ourselves by those who we are is, – she told, – and a grief to those people who consider themselves by those whom actually are not. They take this jewelry and wish what cannot be executed. Their ambitions are not boundless, their desires are not executable. Then this jewelry just kills us. So we consider, but actually we are killed by our ambitions, our desires.

I listened to it and understood, as she wished something that could not be executed. She was always my mother, though not native. The mother left me to the mercy of fate and never remembered me. Ekaterina Dmitriyevna grew up me and educated. She is my real mother, it − and other parents it is not necessary to me. Yes they are also absent. They refused me. I am not necessary to them. That says it all.

With bated breath, I asked it.

− What you made, the mammy? What wished? Speak! Are not silent!

That heaved a deep sigh. She did not know that to answer me. It seemed that the answer was on her lips, just about will escape outside and will answer the question raised by me. But it did not occur. It seemed that Nina cannot just answer this question. Her lips want to tell something, and the reason orders it to be silent. Hard situation, isn't that so?

− What you are silent? Not to a muchta me! Tell? What did you wish?

Ekaterina Dmitriyevna heaved a deep sigh. She could not answer the question raised by me, but also she had too no right to be silent.

− I am sick, – Ekaterina Dmitriyevna admitted at last. – Doctors diagnosed for me the beginning of tuberculosis. I as you know, like to smoke. I smoked the first cigarette at school, somewhere in a class the seventh. Since then could not throw. – She made a long pause and, having pulled out one cigarette from a pack, told: – Unfortunately, health cannot be bought, even for desire. – She lit again. – You know, – she told, – I then deceived you. – Then she told: – I did all that I did for you for the sake of you.

I clung to her breast and said in low tones.

− I know.

Ekaterina Dmitriyevna smiled. She knew that her daughter knows about it. It is its blood and flesh. And who did not understand that someone cares for someone, gives himself without the rest.

Emma continued.

− I always knew about it. You always cared for me.

Ekaterina Dmitriyevna embraced the daughter and began to cry bitter tears. She cried because knew that she at her remained to time a little. She died and could do nothing with it. Even jewelry would not save it from long smoking which gave the print. Ekaterina Dmitriyevna's lungs were all in the centers, tuberculosis developed. Everything, end. To die soon.

Death, resettlement of soul or withdrawal to the best world? There, where there is nothing, except rest and silence. Who knows where Nina after death will go? I hoped that it will get to the best world, than this where it stays now.

Then Ekaterina Dmitriyevna told:

− you remember the grandmother?

− Of course I remember.

− We did not communicate with it long ago. She lately did not want to see anybody. She became a hermit lately. For all these years I did not hear about it, anything.

− I lately did not communicate with it, – I told. – I did not know that she died. – She made a pause. – I condole.

− Thanks, – Ekaterina Dmitriyevna told, and then continued: – She died, having left to you and to me are only long. But your grandfather, – Ekaterina Dmitriyevna continued, − he left you a huge fortune.

I did not understand what my mother spoke about? About what state? We were poor, and knew all this.

− you are surprised? – Ekaterina Dmitriyevna continued. – I understand, and I was surprised, having learned it! – she made the next inhaling. – Your grandma was really poor, – she told. – At it behind soul was not a stiver.

− Then, from where? – I did not understand. – How in general did the inheritance appear? And yes here grandfather?

Nina told me that my grandfather, a kingdom to him heavenly, after the death in the beginning this year left me all the state and business. However, business was rather illusive. The matter is that he was familiar to all area of local police. But its state was real. For all these years he amassed a fortune equal in size of one million pounds sterling. How did it manage it? Riddle. Of course, all this money was in a turn and was abroad, somewhere in England. That to receive them, it was necessary to leave the country.

I told:

− But I have no money even on the air ticket to London.

− For it do not worry, – mother calmed me. – I took care of the daughter. At my place the plastic card VISA lies. On it there are enough money to make to themselves the international passport and on the ticket to London.

I looked at it and asked:

− And how you? You what, you will remain here?

Ekaterina Dmitriyevna tenderly looked at me and, having smiled, answered.

− Ah you, simple soul! Who will let out me with my diagnosis? No, my destiny to die here. You can leave and live there in clover. – She made a pause, looked at me as if saying that I have to it promise something. – Promise, – she told and, having shown me a cigarette, repeated: – Swear that never light and do not take some alcoholic drinks. – She demanded the answer. – Swear.

− I Swear, – I answered. – I swear that I will never take a cigarette in a mouth and I will not drink some alcohol.

− it is good, – mother calmed down. – Remember, you swore.

− Yes, – I answered. – I swore.

Ekaterina Dmitriyevna finished smoking a cigarette.

On hours was five minutes to seven, but on the street still was light, the sun drooped, covering with gold leaves of trees.

Ekaterina Dmitriyevna looked at golden trees, and to her it became good. The alarm and grief left. At heart rest. As perfectly here, far from city noise. Silence − what else it is necessary to people? Only rest and silence. Ekaterina Dmitriyevna made potyagushechka.

− that is good as!

I noticed that it is time and to have supper.

− I wish, – mother answered. – I really got hungry, since morning of a crumb in a mouth did not hold, only and ate roll.

We passed on kitchen.

Chapter-7

Ring

Today day of a new moon. I sat in cafe. My little table was at a window. Looking out of the window, I thought of fine! What can occur bad in such fine weather. Yes, outside the window weather was really fine! The bright sun shone, near cafe played the national instruments the people from the far North. Here, in this cafe there was a twilight. Dusty chandeliers hung on a ceiling. Plafonds on them were covered with a small dust layer. The cafe was sheathed by mahogany and though on chandeliers dirt was visible, but tell in what of the Russian cafes, there is no dirt though? Agree, dirt prospers everywhere. She always tries to get of us the best, and we struggle with her daily.

I looked at the watch, on them was at about noon. The appointment was made for the midday, but not a sin to tell that women are always late. Are late, thinking out themselves in justification so much various and sometimes the ridiculous reasons that there is a wish to smile. Here, midday − anybody. Where it? Where Vera? Really it did not come? – I thought and immediately answered myself this question, having remembered.: "ah I am a fool! We agreed to meet in other cafe! And here I had dinner with Larisa, the devil of her pobera".

Having been late rather for half an hour, I came to that cafe where I was waited by Vera. I saw how she is angry, abusing obviously me for my delay, and was right. The belief told me that she waited for me only to tell … here on me all that accumulated evil and offense in her soul, before which I still even did not hear poured down. Yes, correctly say: the woman in rage is worse than any devil. Well, about it somehow another time. And now, having stated about me everything that she thought, and having finished, at last, the female abuse, she sat down at a table and, having looked back on the parties, saw that all visitors, including service personnel, look at it. In female eyes it was read that Vera stated it a little that he deserved, and men kind of said to Roman that he is a fool and if forgot to come, then would not come at all.

However, without having departed from a rating Romana, Vera bellowed at the hall:

− Well the cataracts goggled? What, it is impossible to talk to the husband? Hey you! Wearing spectacles what the cataracts goggled what, it am pleasant?

The man sitting nearby wearing spectacles turned away from it, and his girl who obviously was younger than him on extremely measure twice, something told him, and those, having asked the account, left.

− That? – Vera in a trace to the leaving couple bellowed. – Do not you want to look at me? Young people give you, an old cable.

The man immediately turned back and in despair parried.

− Silly woman! This is my daughter. – And then added. – How it is not a shame to you, and still the woman? – then it threw. – To you in the market to trade, and that to use was б more.

The belief something wanted to answer, it even opened a mouth, but the man with the daughter already left. Then she addressed Roman.

− you saw? – puzzly she told. – No, you saw, and? It sent me to the market what for the swine? – then she recovered after the insult caused by it and after it shouted: – Well I will also go! On extremely measure I will earn more there, than somewhere, – Vera continued to speak loudly. But more nobody listened to it, all were busy with the affairs. Having seen that more nobody listens to it, it transferred the anger back to Roman. – Well you are silent? I listen to an explanation? What will you still there invent to justify oneself?

Roman did not know that to answer it, he was partly guilty of what now happened in this cafe. He mixed them and went absolutely to other cafe, cafe where they spent time with Larisa if they of course did not go to restaurant. However, they, frankly speaking, also were in it two times, it is no more.

− it is unimportant why I was late, – he told. – Important the fact that I came. All the rest is unimportant. – He got a box from a jacket pocket, put it closer to Vera and, having opened it, told by a gentle and tender voice: – It to you.

The belief took a small box from a table and, having glanced in it, and! What is it? Perhaps Roman the romantic, but I write this reconciliation as I imagine it. What bad is that the man in reconciliation gives to the woman something valuable, for one day, and on for the rest of the life. And Roman romantic. What did he present to Vera? A ring with diamond in three carats. And as I already wrote that Roman − he is a romantic, however, and in life something is possible similar.

And seeing as Vera cooled down after long hot charge in my address and a verbal rating of all cafe and the people who are present at it, she could make anything, but she did not begin to do anything of that kind. It seems to me that in a similar situation the woman a little bit feels the guilt. It did not allow Roman to open a mouth. Only she spoke and accused him of all mortal sins. And he, obviously, ran on jewelry stores, looking for this charm. She askance looked at Roman. She had nothing to tell it. She felt as the last swine. Her husband looked for a ring, found and brought. And it? But nevertheless she was a woman. It did not fall to it on knees, did not blur in smiles, did not fall into arms, she just asked by a firm voice:

− It that?

Here I want to notice that this ring appeared at Roman not accidentally: yesterday, he spoke with the mother by phone, and she suggested it to buy something memorable, something that could not be thrown out on a garbage can and to forget about it. And what good gift to the woman? There is a lot of them. Everyone loves something special, and nobody loves flowers. Most of them smell of the dead man. What here will you tell? Roman quietly answered:

− It to you.

The belief pulled out a ring from a box and, having looked at it from all directions, put on it a finger of the left hand. Then she gave a hand to glass and, having looked at it through a sunlight window, having seen all beauty of the stone which is poured in beams the sun behind glass she thought that, perhaps, she was not right. What is jewelry give not just like that. Probably, he long looked for him if he came to cafe for half an hour later. Yes, he precisely looked for him. She looked at it: and what I for the silly woman such? – she abused herself. – He wanted to make to me pleasant, and I? What I am a silly woman! – she spoke to herself. − the Silly woman, the silly woman also are".

Of course, in different situations reconciliation happens differently, and sometimes it is simply impossible. But not for Roman. He was sure that this gift will soften Vera's heart, and they at least will talk.

Belief, having looked at Roman, thought that not all is possible it is lost. It is possible to save their marriage. In the end of the ends, she is partly guilty of the incident. What was she for the wife if could not give rise, and then was afraid to tell that she recovered, and it is possible, it isn't it?

The fear of inevitability doomed to destroy marriage this family on parting, now it was necessary to correct this error.

The belief looked at Roman. He looked at it, in his eyes it was visible that he regrets deeds. He wanted to talk, try to adjust though some the relation with it, with the wife, Vera.

The belief told.

− I never before saw such beauty!

− It is pleasant?

The belief looked at a ring, and then at Roman. It liked this ring, diamond in it was pleasant. It seemed that she just about also will forgive Roman, but it was not so. She could not forgive him so. In fact, it changed it, and the fact that it was fruitless, was not justification here. Yes, it is possible it partly and it is guilty of the incident, but it?. Vera could not neither forget it and nor forgive.

− Well, – she so cold told that from outside it seemed that this gift was indifferent for it. She looked at this ring and saw in it only one − desire, desire of forgiveness. But whether she will be able to forgive Romana? Now she was offended, offended by it so that it was difficult for it even to see it, what to tell with it. – I agree you to listen, and only. – All this phrase was said so that from outside it seemed that for it it is indifferent, he sits opposite to it here or not. She agreed to listen to him only because about it it was asked by mother Romana, Nadezhda. Also she wanted to look in his shameless eyes and to understand why he made it? Really matter only in children or she did not suit it as the woman? She should find out it. Then she threw words into its party even more cold, so, that Roman was frightened. – Say that you are silent? I what, till the evening I will wait for you?

On his body ran ice cold, and it made the glotatelny movement and, having goggled on trust the scared eyes, answered.

− That ж. – he began and, having hesitated, added. – However, I do not know what to begin with.

The belief immediately steamed.

− Begin with the main thing. – And having made a short pause, it began for Roman. – Darling I changed you. – Then she asked, kind of with a sneer: – I hope, I was not mistaken, I still for you expensive?

The novel immediately steamed.

− Of course. You for me always were, is and will remain the woman, dear to me!

The belief indifferently answered itself in a nose.

− Who would doubt.

− That?

− I speak, – there began Vera, – I wait until you that be give rise. I listen, – she told and added: – I told you what to begin with: DARLING I CHANGED YOU. – She made a pause and continued. – Or perhaps you do not consider what you changed me? Well! There is nothing to tell, or nevertheless I will hear from you though something in the justification?

Roman looked in a window. Clouds were condensed in the sky, was dark, the rain just about will pour down. He looked on trust and told.

− I have nothing to tell. You are right, I changed you. I was blinded by desire to have the child, but there was everything to a turn.

The belief grinned. She looked at Roman a victorious look. Now she did not doubt that he still loves it. She considered that if it is not so, then he not for the world would not recognize the treason. Yes, he loved it, and she knew it. Whether she will forgive him, we will look? It is clear now only one: she still loved Roman. Its feelings did not cool down, and she knew it.

− That ж. – she told the ruling tone. – It is good that you recognized the treason, and can, I will forgive you, but? Whether you forgive yourself? Here in what a question.

Roman heaved a deep sigh.

Chapter-8

Paralysis

Letter of Belief to Hope

Dear Nadezhda!

I write you as I want to share as there took place the conversation between me and Roman. In general the conversation was productive. Roman recognized the treason, and perhaps I will forgive him, sometime, but not now. There passed not enough time, and the wound still bleeds. It is difficult to forget it, only time heals wounds. So at present I can only … what only? I cannot return and forgive to it too I cannot. But I understand that all of us are not innocent, and I including. Now I should think, to put everything on the places so I leave. When you read this letter, I will not be in the city any more.

Good-bye.

Yours faithfully, Vera.

Nadezhda Roman's letter

Sonny. You the idiot that missed Vera. Better than the woman all of you equally will not find. From the letter written by Vera to me it is clear that she still loves you, the blockhead. A question in another: whether she will be able to forgive you. You are guilty of the incident both, but you? What, could not make a compromise? You could try to bring children with Vera, having agreed that you need substitute mother. But you also did not dare to think of it. Now wait when it arrives, do everything possible to make amends.

Your mother.

Roman's letter to mother

Dear mother!

I already asked forgiveness for Vera, even presented her a ring, but she does not want to recognize that on this treason it pushed me. If she told earlier that she is healthy, and put only in me, then I would know what to do. But occurred absolutely not so. She hid from me that she is healthy. And now what wants? I, of course, do not exculpate with myself for the incident, but she is guilty not less mine. I understand that she made it not from the evil, obviously, she wanted that our marriage was not destroyed, but she was mistaken. A lie not to save marriage, and it perfectly understood it. Its justifications are based only on one: she did not want to have children, it is obvious she has some secret about which we do not know.

Novel.

Nadezhda Roman's letter.

The novel, you are mistaken. The belief wanted children too, otherwise it would not be treated.

Mother.

Vera Roman's letter and Nadezhda.

Hello!

The morning sun never lasts a day. Here and I come back home soon. Took a walk and will be enough. My train will arrive to the Leningrad station of the thirteenth at 17:10. This fast, Sapsan.

I will wait, Vera.

Exactly at seventeen hours ten minutes Moscow time number … arrived to a way the white high-speed train Sapsan. Having gone out of the train, the young woman went according to the platform to an exit. Having passed through the metaldetector, it passed further and entered the station, passed it all and came to Three Station Square. This was Vera. It just arrived from St. Petersburg where spent the vacation.

Nobody met her though it also sent the letter to Roman and Nadezhda that they met her if they want. But nobody met her. She faced doors to the station from where now it left, and thought that Roman nevertheless returned to Larisa, and his mother? Obviously, she could not abandon Roman. Though Roman was her son, he, but not it, solved how to him to live.

The belief thought that obviously Larisa achieved the, and … this minute its cellular rang out. The belief pulled out phone from the handbag, looked who called. It was number of the Novel.

− Hallo. Novel, it you?

− Yes, – she heard in reply, is I.

Its voice was excited. Obviously, something happened.

− you where? – hasty she asked. – Something happened?

− Da! – he exclaimed so that it "yes!" Looked rather as "Yes – and-and!". it did not constrain itself(himself) from the problems and with them of emotions which pulled hard on it. – To mother it is bad! Come soon in hospital!

The belief for a second became puzzled: she could not understand how in general it is possible? When she left, everything was normal, and now? Really something occurred? Something that she did not know yet? And what it costs here? It has to be with the husband now, support him in a difficult situation. And it? Why it not there? Why here, at Three Station Square?

She hasty asked.

− you now in what hospital?

− I in Burdenko. Chamber number thirteen.

The belief immediately caught the taxi and, continuing to speak by phone, went to institute of Burdenko.

From Vera's memoirs

Today I was at institute of Burdenko. Visited Nadezhda, Roman's mother. Show. The hope lay in chamber of resuscitation, she could not move hands and legs. Full paralysis. Roman sat in a corridor on a bench. Now expression "on it was appropriate there is no person". Yes, wished nobody it. I asked it how his mother. On what he heaved a deep sigh, and I understood that his mother is bad.

The doctor told that she is paralyzed, and added that she, perhaps, had some stress. Also he added that it is possible it will be forever chained to a bed or to a wheelchair and that it after an extract from hospital will need leaving. Also he suggested to send in this case her to a nursing home or a hospice, but Roman told that to it not to happen. He is still able to take care of the mother.

I asked Roman that I happened? What he answered that "last night Larisa came to them, and imposed requirement that I married her. She was not concerned by such concepts as morals or any other concept, she wanted that I married it, motivating it with the fact that I with it spent that ill-fated night, and she is pregnant". What Roman objected to and, having shown it results of analyses, told that he just purely physically could not conceive it the child, and the fact that it carries in the belly, cannot even be its work remotely. But Larisa claimed that it not so that she did not deceive him that it is his child, but not any other man. But Roman did not trust it and as it is possible to trust that person who insolently deceives you − in any way differently it will not call. Deception and only what else to tell?

His mother was though the tolerant woman, but also she could not stand aside. She squoze the word and did not restrain. It could be heard anywhere, and at first heart, then nerves did not sustain all this horror. To it it became bad, and then paralysis. It confined her to the bed, now she could not move even a finger. And fed her through a tube.

The novel exposed Larisa from the apartment, but it, leaving, told the following: that it is a pity to it, and she will make everything that his mother recovered. What Roman just on it bellowed so at that she was frightened of his furious and mad look.

− Went!!! Bough!

Larisa left, having left Roman of one with the paralyzed mother. The ambulance arrived quickly. Doctors took away the patient and brought to institute of Burdenko. "Here and all history", − the Novel finished the story.

I as could, consoled the husband. I knew, what does it mean − to see how someone needs the help and it is impossible to make anything. Yes, I knew it. Having worked all adult life in hospital, I saw repeatedly as relatives of patients look at the mothers and fathers, grandfathers and grandmothers and cannot do anything with the fact that there will be inevitable soon. This word can be interpreted differently: death, operation and so on, but an essence from it does not change. All know that late or early death will overtake them. We try to delay it, but it is impossible: the sentence will be carried out in the appointed hour and day.

Now, seeing as his mother suffers and knowing who the matter is that, he damned himself, for the fact that he contacted this Larisa. "Better I then would be late for this train", – he abused himself.

I considered that it is destiny, it just tested the highest strength, checked his love for durability. That or whom he loved more and this test it with a crash failed. Though, I considered, in it there is also my fault. Both of us, but who is more than another are guilty? There is a question?

The doctor told us that a condition of the patient steadily heavy, and she will hardly recover today. He advised us to go home, to have a rest. Also he assured us that if that, he will report.

The novel did not want to go home, it wanted to remain here, at institute, near this chamber. To enter to it and to ask for it for all forgiveness. But it was absolutely impossible. I said to him that now it all the same will help nothing to it. He has to go home and have a rest.

Roman looked with an imploring look at the doctor and asked so that it seemed to the doctor that Roman not in. He could not reconcile with a thought that his mother can not live till the morning. She will die, and everything will be over.

– The doctor, tell honestly, my mother will recover? – what the doctor answered that he will not draw hasty conclusions, Nadezhda had extremely heavy state. He promised Roman that he will do everything possible that his mother got on feet. Also he insisted that it needs rest and he should go home.

I was solidary with the doctor and as well as he, insisted on going home. Roman long did not wish to leave, but by the evening he nevertheless agreed that it should be washed and replace a shirt.

We went to the taxi home silently, none of us uttered a uniform word. Yes it was no need. It was clear so that at present it is better to keep silent.

Chapter-9

Meeting

From Larisa's memoirs

Tell, I am right! The rights if I tell the truth, and nobody trusts me. Here and me nobody believes that I the pregnant woman from Roman.

Yesterday I was at Roman's mother on a visit. Well, I will tell, this family − that still a family, nothing to tell.

First, they did not allow to open for me a mouth, I so up to the end did not explain to Roman that the mistake cannot be: this is his child, I was only with him and with anybody. I, of course, could become pregnant from this bastard Victor. I then in hotels even in number to it did not rise, let will look for someone else for the men's satisfaction, as a last resort, nobody cancelled masturbation.

Secondly, I not dissolute, I am an ordinary little girl.

Thirdly, I would never act this way with the one with whom I fell in love. Yes, I fell in love with Roman. Fell in love from the heart, with all the heart! And it? What he, was married? What he is after all a rascal.

All right, we will return to an incident with Roman's mother. I did not want that everything ended so badly, but I am not guilty of what occurred there, in Nadezhda's apartment. I wanted to talk only to Roman, and she nothing wanted to listen. I wanted to explain that I am not a liar, but Nadezhda did not listen to me. She said to me any scurrilous things, any obscenities which any of the women respecting themselves would not will share with whom that or other person.

I am very sorry that Nadezhda had a heart attack, but I am sure that I am not guilty of it. Though I do not accuse her, each mother would stand up for the child on her place.

Anyway, the conversation did not turn out, and now Nadezhda at Burdenko's institute, and Roman cannot see me. I wrote to Vera E-Mail the letter with a request for a meeting, and received on it the answer. Here what she writes …

E-Mail Vera's letter to Larisa

Hello, Larisa. I, admit, is surprised what you wrote to me. After you treated Nadezhda, Roman and me. Did you destroy my marriage, and you have enough impudence still to write me?

In the letter you ask me about meetings with you? Well, I agree you to listen. Let's meet in three tomorrow. You come to Pushkin's monument that on Tverskaya Street.

Belief.

From Larisa's memoirs. CONTINUATION

Today exactly I came to three to Pushkin's monument where Vera's appointment with me was made. It was cloudy. The sky was covered with dense continuous clouds. Today generally I had a bad mood. In soul there was some emptiness. There was such feeling that I lost someone. Lost forever.

Here I heard someone's female voice behind the back. This voice called me by name, Larisa. I looked back and saw the woman standing behind my back. I immediately recognized her. This was Vera.

From Vera and Larisa's memoirs.

"The belief gave me a cold reception. She considered me the deadly enemy. At first she did not want to listen to me. She only expressed the personal opinion, not only concerning my act, but also on my behavior. She can to some extent was is right, but you should not accuse of everything the one who absolutely is not guilty of anything. I explained to Vera that I did not know that Roman is married. He told nothing to me about it. Only after our communication he admitted that he is married. I then wanted to suspend relations, married men are not necessary to me. But the matter is that I fell in love with it, and soon learned that I am pregnant. This is his child, I had him only".

"I listened to Larisa and did not trust her words. It seemed to me that it is impossible! Roman could not act this way. It, according to Larisa, used her, used to receive the. According to her, she is not guilty of anything. He is a rascal, the rascal which light did not see before. If Vera does not know how he wanted the child, then she would count all this for pure fiction. But it was not so. The belief had a gut feeling all women's that Larisa does not lie. She could not understand one only: how it is possible? Roman made tests, and he was infertile? But if it not so? What if did not he just want children from me? What if did not he all this time love me? And only married because of a dowry? This question haunted me.

"I saw, saw and felt that Vera doubts that her husband was honest with her. He was the same goat, as well as all of them combined − men. Nobody is capable to live life in love and harmony. All of them try to descend on the left, to have a rest from family life. Yes, do not feed men with bread if only to descend on the left. And how I could fall in love it? It seemed to me the handsome and attractive man, and I did not even notice that he is such rascal. – He already received the, – Vera said. – His mother is paralyzed, lies at Burdenko's institute. It is a pity for me for her. She so tried to make better for the son that she was helpless! – I asked it: – And what Roman? – What she answered that he is a son of the mother. It will never depart from it. I did not know Roman rather well as Vera, but for that time spent with it, I recognized him enough. I absolutely surely can tell that if he had to choose between the wife or mother, he, of course, chose the mother. Others sneeze on the ancestors, and it not such is. He is a son of the mother. I asked Vera that she thinks of current situation, and that answered that else early to solve something; to be born here the child, then we will decide what to do next. She also added that if this child really of Roman, and can define it only genetic examination, she will divorce him, and let him go wherever one wishes. He deceived her, and it we, women, never we forgive.

"Well, here also talked. I am solidary with Larisa. From a conversation with it, I understood that it is the same victim of love interlacings and circumstances, as well as I. She did not want to pull down family, it so collapsed without participation someone from the outside. As I was blind that did not notice obvious things. He never loved me. It needed only posterity, posterity − more than nothing. If he loved me, then he would not change me, and he? That for a goat really!?

From Larisa's memoirs

After the conversation with Vera I understood that her feelings to Roman of an okholodela at her. It was cold to it. But nevertheless she was not indifferent to his grief. She knew that his mother lies on a hospital bed partly and through her fault now. She knew about her state of health and could not. The involuntary victim of our dismantling and I became their match. Though without me it was unclear there that.

Chapter-10

Roman's birth

There passed days ever since as Nadezhda got to institute of Burdenko. Now, lying not movably on a hospital bed, she thought of the life lived by it for which she made a lot of things and nothing. She was not sorry about anything, except one. She could not understand still how she missed the son. He grew at the obedient and cultural child, always obeyed the parents, never contradicted them. What happened to it? Why it violated all laws of marriage and went on the left? Really matter only in child? Yes, it is of course an essential factor, but there are many ways to get children. Adoption, substitute mother, at last, patronage. No, he wanted the child conceived in the natural way.

"I mean nothing to it, he remembered me only when did a heap of affairs: and what, mother was necessary? All of them are such, children. Remember the parents only in urgent cases, and for the rest we are not necessary to them. Oh, My God, for what to me such punishments? Take me to yourself, give rest. And they will understand to what. But how my councils? Really nobody listens to them, unless they are necessary to nobody? Yes, to anybody. Even my loved ones, and that could not care less of everything; why I have to care for them if they about me − are not present? Because they are my close relatives? Are good, there is nothing to tell. I because of the sonny appeared here that to him it was empty. It is good, there is nothing to tell. Brought me to a paralysis − and in bushes. Son of the father! Same rascal, and swine".

Meanwhile, Roman worried about health of mother. He understood that it − the only person in his life who will always support him at a difficult moment who will not leave it at any situations in life. Somehow she told it that mother is a friend, the companion and the adviser in the unique person, and he remembered these words well.

Larisa, creature! What it is after all a creature. It was gathered impudence and secured to mother. Knew that it will not lead to anything good. That devils in hell gobbled up you, be damned that day when I saw you. Forgive, mother, I'm sorry, I was such fool! All wanted own children, thought, in them my happiness. And absolutely forgot about you. Forgive me, forgive".

I did not move a step from the husband. Roman though the rascal, but he is still my husband, both in sorrow, and in joy. I consoled him as could. He was depressed. I saw how he suffers, suffers from helplessness. I as could, consoled him, but it was inconsolable. He damned everyone and everything, Larisa and her conversation with it, she was silent. Had now no time for it. All hoped that Nadezhda will recover.

Larisa wanted to talk to Nadezhda, to explain her all current situation, but could not. She as well as the others waited that she will recover and will listen to her to understand.

I always considered that Nadezhda is not so ordinary as could seem at first sight. She somehow time told me: "Vera, I will always love it and whatever it happened, I will never hurt it". So it also was to this case with Roman's treason. Who nevertheless is guilty of the incident? The answer was obvious to Nadezhda. Vera is guilty. Not her son. For each mother someone is always guilty another, only not her child. Now, lying unconscious, it is helpless, she knew, no, she was sure that it so it also is. Ah, if she could talk to the son and to return back everything, to the past. She would not grant permission for anything for this marriage. She would marry him to Nina Mikhaylovna Lopukhova better and she would know that this marriage is reliable. But everything happened not as she wanted. Roman married Vera, and Nina appeared aside. It would seem that here it that Roman married not that who was wanted by his mother? But Nadezhda already then knew that this marriage will not lead it to anything good. So it also happened.