Finding Inner Safety

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Dr Nerina Ramlakhan. Finding Inner Safety

Table of Contents

List of Illustrations

Guide

Pages

Finding Inner Safety. The key to healing, thriving, and overcoming burnout

Message from the Author

Physiology and Psychology

Professional Experience

Philosophy

Always Practical

Personal Insight

Part One: The Illusion of Safety

Part Two: When the Nervous System Is Nervous

Part Three: Nature Cures

Part Four: Doing the Real Work (of Finding Inner Safety)

Acknowledgements

Prologue: Lost and Found

Over to You …

Introduction: Why Feeling Safe Matters

A Personal Agenda

Part One The Illusion of Safety

1 What Does Feeling Safe Mean?

Stuck in Unhelpful Patterns

When You Don't Know if You Feel Safe or Not

Unconsciously Unsafe

Consciously Unsafe

Unconsciously Safe

Consciously Safe

Four Levels of Safety

Physical

Emotional

Mental

Spiritual

What Does Feeling Safe Mean to You?

From Outside In, to Inside Out

Inside Out Versus Outside In

Reflection Exercise: Embark on Your Journey

Part Two When the Nervous System Is Nervous

2 Measuring Un-safety in the Human Laboratory

Skewed Measurements

A Changing World – Speed, Noise, Demand, Technology

Notes

3 Your Intelligent Nervous System

Introduction to the Key Principles of Safety Science

A Day in the Life Of

Polyvagal Theory (Viva Las Vagus!)

Evolution of Our Nervous System

Regulation, Co-regulation, Dysregulation

Habituation to Survival – A Nervous System Perspective

Sensing Our Inner and Outer World

Meanings Matter

Social Engagement (and Wearing Masks)

All Alone Together

Reality Shows and Frozen ‘Perfection’

Safety in Connection

Note

Part Three Nature Cures

4 The Wisdom of Trees

Laura's Story

Magnificent Brainforests

The Tree of Safety

The Roots of the Tree of Safety

The Trunk of the Tree of Safety – Life Passages

The Crown of the Tree of Safety

The Real Work

Notes

5 Going Back to Our Roots

Early Beginnings

Sarah's Story

Weakened Roots

Mala's Story

Mala's Story

Where Do You Belong?

My Ancestral Story

Different Types of Roots

The Tree That Toppled

The Turner Oak Tree

Notes

Part Four Doing the Real Work (of Finding Inner Safety) Practices and Resources

Getting Ready to Do the Work – Before You Get Going

Practices and Resources Index

6 Create More Resources – The Reset

What Are Your Energy Levels Right Now?

Press the Reset Button

Alex's Story

Getting Started

Feel Resourced – What to Expect

Note

7 Aerate the Soil/Soul

Compacted Breathing

Learn How to Breathe

Jessie Laute's Story

Take a Deep Breath

Learning to Breathe

Returning to Sarah's Story

Practice 1: Notice the Breath. Notice Your Breathing

Go Deeper

Practice 2: Take 5 a Day/Morning Practice

Practice 3: Sigh it Out

Mira Sighs with Relief

8 Return to the Body – Embodiment Work

Practice 1: Notice Your Body Awareness

Practice 2: Locate Your Trigger Points

Practice 3: Feel Joy and Pleasure

Practice 4: Sense Your Environment

Practice 5: Take a Walk in Nature

Practice 6: Jump Back into Your Body – Heel Drops

Practice 7: Discover Chi Kung Shaking

Practice 8: Find Comfort and Ease

Havening Technique

Go Deeper

Note

9 Can I Show You Who I Am?

My Story of Perfectionism

Practice 1: Identify Your Inner Perfectionist

Practice 2: Mirror Work

Mirror Work Exercise 1: Who Am I?

Jackie's Story

Mirror Work Exercise 2: I Love You

Practice 3: Let it Out!

Go Deeper

10 Strengthen the Positivity Bias of the Brain

Practice 1: Gratitude for the Present Moment

Practice 2: Wake up with Gratitude

Practice 3: End Your Day with Gratitude

Practice 4: Cultivate Appreciation

Practice 5: Soak in Pleasure

Practice 6: Morning Intention Setting

11 Safety in Connection

Making New Friends

Practice 1: Prepare Your Heart Connection

Practice 2: Meditation for Loneliness

Practice 3: Deep Support

Sarah's Story

12 Healing Weakened Roots

Practice 1: Explore Your Family Tree

Practice 2: Tree Meditation Exercise

Epilogue: Return Home

About the Author

Bibliography

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Dr. Nerina Ramlakhan

I started out as a scientist. I have a degree in physiology and a doctorate in neurophysiology. And I have also studied psychology and psychiatry. It wasn't long after my postdoctoral work and a couple of short-lived academic posts that I realized I wasn't really interested in being an academic. Actually, I thought I wasn't cut out for the world of work at all until I experienced the ‘click’ of working in the ‘human laboratory’ and realized that my real fascination lay in the workings of the mind, body, and spirit. Particularly fascinating were seemingly ‘esoteric’ concepts and how they might be explained by scientific theory, an interest I could never have pursued if I had stayed in academia, constrained by strict scientific protocols and peer review pressure. I needed to let my mind roam free! Free to find the answers to the Why's that petri dishes and test tubes were never going to give me. I believe this stood me in good stead when I began consulting in corporate environments where many of my clients tended to be more left brain – logical, rational, ‘if you can't see it, it doesn't exist’ human beings. For such clients, blending esoteric with scientific theories was probably more credible. Perhaps it felt safer too.

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The final part of my book is practical. Here, I share the resources that I have been learning about, practising myself, and teaching thousands of people for years. These are the practices – some of them very simple – that I have been sharing with people for decades, as well as practising myself.

In this resources section I share the tools that are based on my unique methodology. I take you through a process that is focused on bringing safety to those four crucial levels – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual – that I describe in Part One. Ideally, you will work your way through the practices and decide which ones work best for you. The nature of this work is deeply personal after all. However, I recommend that you start with the RESET practice, as my experience has shown me that preparing the foundations in this way sets you up to do the deeper work that comes later. I hesitated to call this section a ‘toolbox’ but I suppose it could be considered to be that, as embarking on the journey of building inner safety really is about ‘Doing the Work’, a label which I use throughout my book and which I ask you to become familiar with too. This is about doing the ‘the Work’ of becoming a more evolved human being, more self-actualized. I will share with you an array of tools that I've learnt from others, developed and practised myself, and shared with countless others. Over time, you will become more adept at selecting the tools you need at different stages of doing your own work.

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