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Gael Lindenfield. Confident Teens: How to Raise a Positive, Confident and Happy Teenager
Confident Teens. How to raise a positive, confident and happy teenager. Gael Lindenfield
Dedication
Table of Contents
Introduction
Part one
What Exactly is Confidence?
8 Key Ingredients of Super Confidence
Meet the Super Confident Teen
About the Golden Rules
21 Golden Rules. Rule 1: Teach by Example Before Giving Instructions
Rule 2: Ensure Your Wisdom is One (But Only One) Step Ahead
Rule 3: Listen Three Times as Much as you Talk
Rule 4: Think Before You Speak
Rule 5: Review the ‘Rulebook’ Jointly and Frequently
Rule 6: Aim to Strike a Deal in 90% of Your Conflicts
Rule 7: Help Them to Discover their Own ‘Carrots’ and ‘Sticks’
12 key characteristics of self-motivated people – and how you can help your teen to develop them
Rule 8: Use ‘Pull’ not ‘Push’ to Help Them with Difficult Choices
10 quick ways to give your teen’s self-esteem a boost
A decision-making strategy
Rule 9: Ask for Their Help on Their Terms
Rule 10: Prove Your Commitment with Time that You Think You Can’t Spare
Rule 11: Be Content to be a Predictable Parent rather than a Best Mate
Rule 12: Stay Honest and Focused When Giving Feedback
Rule 13: Be a Safety Net not a Security Blanket
Rule 14: Do Battle with the Bullies Both for Them and with Them
Why bullying must be stopped
CAT! a strategy for responding to a non-violent attack
Rule 15: Equip Them Efficiently for Their Emotional Roller Coaster Rides
A basic 20-minute relaxation
A quick visualization technique
Anchoring – a technique for rekindling positive feelings
Warning signals
Three possible ways to handle anger
How to defuse your anger
Rule 16: Coach as well as Comfort Them Through Their Relationship Crises
Dealing with put-downs
How to heal from emotional hurt
Rule 17: Respond to Their Desire for Solitude and Secrecy with Tact
Rule 18: Don’t be Afraid to ‘Spoil’ Them with the Extras They Need
Rule 19: Celebrate the Milestones as well as the Achievements
Rule 20: Find, and Keep Alive, a New Dream for You
Rule 21: Nail the Door Ajar – Forever!
Part two
The Angst Tests
The Problems ‘You always take her side’ Family background
Letter from Gillian
Questions to ask yourself
‘She thinks she’s fat and ugly’ Family background
Letter from Pat
Questions to ask yourself
‘He’s C-stream in everything and he knows it’ Family background
Letter from Brian
Questions to ask yourself
‘He’s too easily led’ Family Background
Letter from Roger
Questions to ask yourself
‘She won’t talk about losing her father’ Family background
Letter from Isabel
Questions to ask yourself
Answer Time! ‘You always take her side’:How can Gillian help?
‘She thinks she’s fat and ugly’: How can Pat and Eddie help?
‘He’s C-stream in everything and he knows it’: How can Brian and Jill help?
‘He’s too easily led’:How can Roger and Carol help?
‘She won’t talk about losing her father’:How can Isabel help?
Should I take a gap year?
A Final Word
Further Help. Recommended Reading
For Teenagers
Useful Internet Sites
About the author
Index
Acknowledgements
By the same author
Copyright
About the Publisher
