Читать книгу The home: its work and influence - Gilman Charlotte Perkins - Страница 1

I hear a deep voice through uneasy dreaming,

A deep, soft, tender, soul-beguiling voice;

A lulling voice that bids the dreams remain,

That calms my restlessness and dulls my pain,

That thrills and fills and holds me till in seeming

There is no other sound on earth – no choice.

"Home!" says the deep voice, "Home!" and softly singing

Brings me a sense of safety unsurpassed;

So old! so old! The piles above the wave —

The shelter of the stone-blocked, shadowy cave —

Security of sun-kissed treetops swinging —

Safety and Home at last!

"Home" says the sweet voice, and warm Comfort rises,

Holding my soul with velvet-fingered hands;

Comfort of leafy lair and lapping fur,

Soft couches, cushions, curtains, and the stir

Of easy pleasures that the body prizes,

Of soft, swift feet to serve the least commands.

I shrink – half rise – and then it murmurs "Duty!"

Again the past rolls out – a scroll unfurled;

Allegiance and long labor due my lord —

Allegiance in an idleness abhorred —

I am the squaw – the slave – the harem beauty —

I serve and serve, the handmaid of the world.

My soul rebels – but hark! a new note thrilling,

Deep, deep, past finding – I protest no more;

The voice says "Love!" and all those ages dim

Stand glorified and justified in him;

I bow – I kneel – the woman soul is willing —

"Love is the law. Be still! Obey! Adore!"

And then – ah, then! The deep voice murmurs "Mother!"

And all life answers from the primal sea;

A mingling of all lullabies; a peace

That asks no understanding; the release

Of nature's holiest power – who seeks another?

Home? Home is Mother – Mother, Home – to me.

"Home!" says the deep voice; "Home and Easy Pleasure!

Safety and Comfort, Laws of Life well kept!

Love!" and my heart rose thrilling at the word;

"Mother!" it nestled down and never stirred;

"Duty and Peace and Love beyond all measure!

Home! Safety! Comfort! Mother!" – and I slept.

A bugle call! A clear, keen, ringing cry,

Relentless – eloquent – that found the ear

Through fold on fold of slumber, sweet, profound —

A widening wave of universal sound,

Piercing the heart – filling the utmost sky —

I wake – I must wake! Hear – for I must hear!

"The World! The World is crying! Hear its needs!

Home is a part of life – I am the whole!

Home is the cradle – shall a whole life stay

Cradled in comfort through the working day?

I too am Home – the Home of all high deeds —

The only Home to hold the human soul!

"Courage! – the front of conscious life!" it cried;

"Courage that dares to die and dares to live!

Why should you prate of safety? Is life meant

In ignominious safety to be spent?

Is Home best valued as a place to hide?

Come out, and give what you are here to give!

"Strength and Endurance! of high action born!"

And all that dream of Comfort shrank away,

Turning its fond, beguiling face aside:

So Selfishness and Luxury and Pride

Stood forth revealed, till I grew fierce with scorn,

And burned to meet the dangers of the day.

"Duty? Aye, Duty! Duty! Mark the word!"

I turned to my old standard. It was rent

From hem to hem, and through the gaping place

I saw my undone duties to the race

Of man – neglected – spurned – how had I heard

That word and never dreamed of what it meant!

"Duty! Unlimited – eternal – new!"

And I? My idol on a petty shrine

Fell as I turned, and Cowardice and Sloth

Fell too, unmasked, false Duty covering both —

While the true Duty, all-embracing, high,

Showed the clear line of noble deeds to do.

And then the great voice rang out to the turn,

And all my terror left me, all my shame,

While every dream of joy from earliest youth

Came back and lived! – that joy unhoped was truth,

All joy, all hope, all truth, all peace grew one,

Life opened clear, and Love? Love was its name!

So when the great word "Mother!" rang once more,

I saw at last its meaning and its place;

Not the blind passion of the brooding past,

But Mother – the World's Mother – come at last,

To love as she had never loved before —

To feed and guard and teach the human race.

The world was full of music clear and high!

The world was full of light! The world was free!

And I? Awake at last, in joy untold,

Saw Love and Duty broad as life unrolled —

Wide as the earth – unbounded as the sky —

Home was the World – the World was Home to me!