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The same dream every time. I’m face down on the asphalt and shaking with fear. Breathing in pain and noise and wincing as shot after shot hammer the car beside me as glass and paint chips rain onto my back. I’m paralyzed with an unreal terror pushing me harder against the hot Texas asphalt. Struggling for clear thought, I reach toward the gun that lays just out of reach when another shot skips off the gravel past my ear and I pull myself into a ball. Then, suddenly, there is a silence, louder than all the shooting had been and I dare to raise my eyes towards the Russians. They’re smiling, amused at my cowering. To my right, a man stands with a big television camera resting casually on his shoulder and bloody gore covering his shirt. He shakes his head sadly at me and speaks, “Don’t look at me pal, I’m dead already.” Anger swells over the fear and I push my palms down into the tarmac to stand and then I hear it, soft like a gull in the distance but pleading, “Richard”. Like a blanket over me, the horror is back, drowning the anger and I turn screaming. “JUDITH! ... And in an instant, the Texas sun is gone and I’m back on the couch drenched in sweat and crying.
Genesis 4:13
.....
Hershaw was saying that a run of the mill dirt bag had gotten out of jail and come seeking revenge and from his point of view it made perfect sense. By giving me all this information he was also saying he didn’t have any suspicion that I’d done anything wrong. I didn’t need John Hershaw to know what I knew. Jimmy Pecos was scared to death of me and wouldn’t have come looking for me unless not killing me was even scarier. I also didn’t need him to know Jimmy never had more than a few hundred dollars at any one time in his life and if he had meth-amphetamines he would have holed up and used it unless he needed it for something else. I wondered to myself what this or any detective would have thought, faced with my corpse on the floor with a bag of meth and a wad of cash in my pocket. Old burnout of a cop killed in a drug deal maybe? Out loud, I decided to agree with the theory on the table, “Looks like Jimmy held a grudge.”
Hershaw looked pleased and turned to the rookie, “You can leave Officer, it’s nearly time for shift change.” Without a word the kid nodded at me and walked out. Hershaw turned back to me, “You still planning to leave town, Mr. Cain?”
.....
