Оглавление
Илья Ильф. Золотой теленок / The Golden Calf
Part 1. The Crew of the Antelope
Chapter 1. How Panikovsky broke the pact
Chapter 2. The thirty sons of lieutenant Schmidt
Chapter 3. Gas is yours, ideas ours
Chapter 4. A plain-looking suitcase
Chapter 5. The underground kingdom
Chapter 6. The Gnu Antelope
Chapter 7. The sweet burden of fame
Chapter 8. An artistic crisis
Chapter 9. Another artistic crisis
Part 2. The two strategists
Chapter 10. A telegram from the brothers Karamazov
Chapter 11. The Herculeans
Chapter 12. Homer, Milton, and Panikovsky
Chapter 13. Basilius Lokhankin And His Role In The Russian Revolution
Chapter 14. The First Date
Chapter 15. Horns And Hoofs
Chapter 16. Jahrbuch Für Psychoanalytik
Chapter 17. The return of the prodigal son
Chapter 18. On land and at sea
Chapter 19. The universal stamp
Chapter 20. The captain dances a tango
Chapter 21. The end of the rookery
Chapter 22. I am commanding the parade
Chapter 23. The driver’s heart
Chapter 24. The weather was right for love
Chapter 25. Three roads
PART 3. A PRIVATE CITIZEN
Chapter 26. A passenger on the special train
Chapter 27. “May a capitalist lackey come in?”
Chapter 28. A sweltering wave of inspiration
Chapter 29. Roaring springs
Chapter 30. Alexander bin Ivanovich
Chapter 31. Baghdad
Chapter 32. The door to boundless opportunities
Chapter 33. The Indian guest
Chapter 34. Friendship with youth
Chapter 35. Housewives, housekeepers, widows, and even a dental technician – they all loved him
Chapter 36. A knight of the order of the Golden fleece
Отрывок из книги
You have to be nice to pedestrians. Pedestrians comprise the greater part of humanity.
Moreover, its better part. Pedestrians created the world. They built cities, erected tall buildings, laid out sewers and waterlines, paved the streets and lit them with electricity. They spread civilization throughout the world, invented the printing press and gunpowder, flung bridges across rivers, deciphered Egyptian hieroglyphs, introduced the safety razor, abolished the slave trade, and established that no less than 114 tasty, nutritious dishes can be made from soybeans.
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“I had a crazy uncle,” reported Sakharkov, “who thought he was simultaneously Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. You can imagine the ruckus he raised!”
“The only surprising thing,” said old Kukushkind in a scratchy voice, methodically wiping off his glasses with the flap of his jacket, “the only surprising thing is that the rest of us don’t yet think that we are Abraham.” The old man started puffing, “… Isaac…”
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