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CONTENTS
The Museum of Doubt
Bonny Boat Speed
The Very Love There Was
The Queen of Ukraine
Smoked
Management Secrets of the Nazi Generals
Class Action
The Return of the Godlike Narrator
These Lovers
Pure
And the Days Grow Shorter
The Club of Men
Waterland
Northern Soul
About the Author. The Museum of Doubt
Copyright
The Museum of Doubt
Bonny Boat Speed
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A failure. You’re suffering from PRAS. Post-religious asceticism syndrome. You think that by not having any possessions your soul becomes purified and you become a saintly being, superior to people who buy glossy magazines and furniture and collect records. That’s great. That’s what Pol Pot thought. The truth is the consumers are the virtuous ones. They express their love for life and for each other and for humanity by buying. That’s how the world becomes a richer place, full of colours. The ones who go out and shop, they’re the real noble spirits of the universe. They understand how ugly their lives would be if they didn’t buy homes and fill them with wonderful goods. You’ve got to own things, Adela, as many things as possible. It’s not a question of being poor. The fewer things you own, the less human you are, and the harder it is for you or anyone else to understand whether you’ve got a life at all.
I wish you’d leave, said Adela.
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