Blue Money
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Janet Capron. Blue Money
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In loving memory of my mother
PART I
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“You and everybody else, me included, is already giving it away. But you’re lucky. You can get paid for it. Who’s going to object? Nobody around here. Do you care what the straight world thinks? Of course not. In fact, whenever it disapproves, I take it as a sign at least I’m doing something right. I don’t see why you shouldn’t get paid for it.”
This was one of Michael’s longer speeches. I understood he was encouraging me to be defiant. I got it. His motives were very nearly pure. But if I’d been capable then of being honest with myself, I would have had to admit that I was hurt. I wished that he would claim me, possess me, swear he’d never love another. I tried to comfort myself with the thought that Michael did want to possess me in his way by sharing my experience, because I already knew what he had in mind. I knew that Michael’s own peculiar interpretation of pimping would never include taking money—he had such an aversion to money—but he’d insist on hearing all the details. ‘Vicarious’ was his favorite word.
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