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Wake Up and Smell the Beer
Prologue
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Jon Longhi
Manic D Press
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Dada Trash once had a summer job working for a health insurance firm in Philadelphia. It was one of those horrible office jobs where he worked in a sea of cubicles. His office was just a cramped little square among all the other identical squares. Everyone wore the same three-piece suit, everyone's office area looked exactly the same. The only stamp of individuality, the only way to tell any of the cubicles apart was by the family pictures that everyone put on their desks. Smiling, drooling, cherubic babies, the prune-like faces of grandparents, wedding photos. The gilt-framed pictures were the only humanity left in the suffocating office environment.
In general, Dada Trash hated his coworkers. He thought they were the most boring two-dimensional people alive. So he came up with a little prank to mess with their minds. He went out and got a couple of eight-by-ten gilt photo frames and put them on his desk like everyone else, only he didn't put any pictures in the frames. He just left them as a couple of blank squares. It was great, whenever one of his coworkers would come into his cubicle and try to make small talk, they'd grab one of the photo frames off his desk while saying something like, “So, is this the wife and kids?” Then they'd notice the frames were empty and their narrow conservative brains just could not compute. Sometimes they'd fumble for something to say, but usually there was just an awkward silence followed quickly by them excusing themselves. Dada Trash said it was the best conversation killer he had ever come up with.
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