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Special Praise for Hard to Love
“I can’t wait to give Hard to Love to both male and female clients involved in difficult relationships! Nowinski adroitly and sensitively integrates theory, clinical examples, and pragmatic strategies for both therapists and clients in this well-organized and engagingly written book. His sensitivity to gender issues and an under-recognized clientele is a huge contribution to the field of mental health.”
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Young children like Tyler, of course, cannot be counted on to put their insecurity into words. Instead, one has to “read” it in their behavior. In turn, there are two ways to respond to their behavior. The right way is the way Tyler’s parents responded: with understanding and tolerance. The wrong way is to try to ignore the behaviors or try to talk boys out of them.
“Don’t feel that way!” will not be sufficient to make insecurity go away. Even worse are efforts to shame boys out of their insecurity. Unfortunately, because they buy into the myth of the tough boy, parents sometimes try to get boys to “tough it out” or “man up.” It would have been a mistake, for example, to try to persuade (or force) Tyler to give up Sparkle, or to insist that he stay in his own bed after having a nightmare. It would have been much worse, of course, if Tyler had lost his relationship with his father as a result of the divorce. Fortunately, that was not the case.
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