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Joyce MDiv Boudreau. Beloved Daughter
A Love Letter to My Friends and Family
Chapter 1
My Father's Illness: A Journey Back to Myself
Chapter 2
My Father’s Demons
Chapter 3
Loving my Father: My Mother’s Story
Chapter 4
My Value as a Woman and Feminine Sexuality
Chapter 5
Following my Mother’s Footsteps
Chapter 6
My Father’s Death
Chapter 7
Shalom Years
Chapter 8
Healing Sound of Silence: My Journey into Catholicism
Chapter 9
The Lessons I Learned Raising Our Sons
Chapter 10
Rage Against Men: The Collective Shadow
Chapter 11
The Collective Shadow of Sexual Abuse
Chapter 12
Becoming a Shadow Integrative Life Coach
Chapter 13
Guilt is a paradoxical word
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This is a story of childhood abuse and domestic violence but most important, it is a transformational story. This story is about healing, acceptance and forgiveness. This is the shadow journey of one woman’s quest to discover the value of herself as a woman, but this story is for anyone, whether you have suffered abuse or not. Each of us on this planet is placed here for a journey of discovery: a discovery of authenticity. At some point in each person’s life we ask ourselves “Who am I really and what is my purpose in life?” “Why do I feel so stuck?” “I want to make changes but I don’t know where to begin”. If you are exploring these or other questions this book is for you. This amazing journey I call the shadow journey inspired me to train and become a certified Integrative Life Coach in three models of shadow coaching. These models were developed and taught by best-selling author Debbie Ford. I am honored and constantly humbled by how shadow coaching opens the door to healing.
The shadow journey is a compassionate in-depth look inside ourselves. It is about uncovering and healing those parts of us that we deem unacceptable or that we deny: both the dark and the light. We have all created patterns of beliefs and thoughts that come from our experience in this world. They are created mostly in our childhood. These beliefs come from the adults in our world when we are children. These are mostly unintentionally because as adults we think it is for our children’s own sake. It can be as “simple” as a negative message either nonverbally or verbally from a teacher, caretaker, or parent. Sayings such as “children should be seen and not heard” or ignoring our children because we are so overwhelmed with life to the absolute worst pain of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Often these unconscious beliefs are well hidden and drive our everyday actions. They do not serve us well as adults. We find ourselves stuck in damaging patterns, blaming others, beating ourselves up, and staying stuck in a life that can be unfulfilling and often destructive. Even worse, when children witness or are the product of abuse, it burns indelible memories that can create protective scars around the heart. This can set up a lifetime of running from your true self, for those scars create a false sense of protection and unworthiness. When we are willing to look at ourselves, no matter what our history, both the light and the dark, we find peace and forgiveness both with ourselves and the world. A shadow journey is about being 100% responsible for our lives, no matter what challenges or struggles we have in our lives. I am constantly reminded that this is a journey and not a destination. Shadow work is ongoing and ever healing; as long as we are willing to continue honestly looking with gentle compassion at our reflections. Even as a shadow coach I am reminded daily that my journey is a continuous uncovering of new layers. I would not want it any other way.
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It has often been said that the eyes are the window of our soul. If we grew up not seeing security, acceptance, positivity, and excitement for life in the eye’s looking back at us in our most impressionable years, it only makes sense we would mirror insecurity, non-acceptance, negativity of ourselves and others throughout our life. We may even become suspect of those who reflect something different for it has never been your reality.
This story is challenging us to find new mirrors to reflect new possibilities in our lives that show us the way to real and lasting change. There are two important parts of this challenge; one is staying open and quiet enough to hear the loving guidance of God, and last, letting go of any temptation to beat ourselves up each time we look deep inside.
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