488 Rules for Life: The Thankless Art of Being Correct

488 Rules for Life: The Thankless Art of Being Correct
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Описание книги

488 Rules for Life is Kitty Flanagan's way of making the world a more pleasant place to live. Providing you with the antidote to every annoying little thing, these rules are not made to be broken. 488 Rules for Life is not a self-help book, because it's not you who needs help, it's other people. Whether they're walking and texting, asphyxiating you on public transport with their noxious perfume cloud, or leaving one useless square of toilet paper on the roll, a lot of people just don't know the rules. But thanks to Kitty Flanagan's comprehensive guide to modern behaviour, our world will soon be a much better place. A place where people don't ruin the fruit salad by putting banana in it … where your co-workers respect your olfactory system and don't reheat their fish curry in the office microwave … where middle aged men don't have ponytails … Other rules to live by include: 1. Men must wear shorts over leggingsThe gym is no place for people to discover whether or not you are circumcised. That’s a private discussion for another place and time. 2. Team bonding activities should be optionalSome people love it when management decides that an afternoon of bowling or paintballing or (god forbid) karaoke will help everyone work better as a team. Others would rather be dead. 3. Don’t ever mention your ‘happy place’To me, this sounds less like a pleasant, fun state of mind and more like some kind of utopian wank palace you’ve had built in the basement. What started as a personal joke is now a quintessential reference book with the power to change society. (Or, at least, make it a bit less irritating. ) What people are (Kitty Flanagan is) saying about this book: 'You're welcome everyone. ' 'Thank god for me. ' 'I'd rather be sad and lonely, but right. ' 'There's not actually 488 rules in here but it sure feels like it'.

Оглавление

Kitty Flanagan. 488 Rules for Life: The Thankless Art of Being Correct

Copyright

Dedication

Contents

THE FUNDAMENTAL RULE

AROUND THE HOME

GENERAL HOUSE RULES

THE BATHROOM

THE KITCHEN

HEALTH & LIFESTYLE

INSPIRATION AND ADVICE

SMOKING

EXERCISE GEAR

WORKING OUT

AGEING GRACEFULLY

AT THE OFFICE

GENERAL OFFICE RULES

FOOD IN THE OFFICE

LANGUAGE

GENERAL LANGUAGE RULES

KIDS TODAY

CONVERSATION

PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES

FLYING

SPECIAL SEALED SECTION. SCOOCHING

ON THE ROAD

PUBLIC TRANSPORT

FOOD

GENERAL FOOD RULES

EATING

DINING OUT

CAFES AND RESTAURANTS

SPECIAL SEALED SECTION. FRUIT

RELATIONSHIPS & DATING

FIRST DATE DON’TS

COUPLES

FRIENDS OF COUPLES

ONLINE DATING RULES—FOR MEN

ONLINE DATING RULES—FOR WOMEN

SEX

PARENTING

GENERAL PARENTING RULES

PREGNANCY

SPECIAL SEALED SECTION. FOR MUMS

CHILDREN’S PARTIES

PETS

FASHION

GENERAL FASHION RULES

FASHION FOR THE OVER-FORTIES

DENIM AND LEATHER

SPECIAL SEALED SECTION. TATTOOS

PIERCINGS AND OTHER HOLES

SUNGLASSES

MAKEUP

MODELS

AT THE MOVIES

FOR MOVIE-GOERS

SPECIAL SEALED SECTION. POPCORN

FOR MOVIE-MAKERS

AT THE SHOPS

SHOP ASSISTANTS

ATTENTION, SUPERMARKET SHOPPERS

BIG SUPERMARKETS

SPECIAL SEALED SECTION. CHANGE ROOMS

TECHNOLOGY

MOBILE PHONES

EMAIL

SOCIAL MEDIA

BLOGGING

INSTRUCTIONAL YOUTUBE VIDEOS

INTERNET COMMENTING

SPORT

FOR SPORTS FANS

FOR NON-ENTHUSIASTS

SPECIAL RULES FOR FOOTBALLERS

PARTIES & CELEBRATIONS

INVITATIONS AND ATTENDANCE

BIRTHDAYS

DINNER PARTIES

WEDDINGS

SPECIAL SEALED SECTION. WEDDING SPEECHES

HALLOWEEN

XMAS, NEW YEAR’S EVE AND THE OTHER ONE

HOLIDAYS & TRAVEL

AUSTRALIANS OVERSEAS

HOUSEGUESTS

VISITORS TO OUR SHORES

ART & ENTERTAINMENT

MUSEUMS AND ART GALLERIES

THE ZOO

THE THEATRE

BOOKS

SPECIAL REMOVABLE SECTION. REALITY TELEVISION

THE FINAL RULE

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Other Books By

About the Publisher

Отрывок из книги

For Marmee

Title Page

.....

TECHNOLOGY

SPORT

.....

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