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We live in a world we did not choose at the start, yet one we inevitably continue to build. And if we see life as construction, then we are not tenants under a contract but architects of our own reality. An architect does not argue with the terrain; he takes measurements, selects materials, and designs so that the house stands firm and fits with the houses next to it. In this chapter, we take exactly this perspective: not “who is obliged to fix everything,” but how we design and raise our own world among the many worlds of others, which often intersect with ours.
We come into the world with different starting points. Some have warm evenings with their parents and a modest budget. Others grow up in a spacious house, with adults following a strict schedule of care. Some are fortunate in several ways at once, while others begin their journey with almost nothing. This is not about whose life is “better” or “worse,” but about the different starting positions that shape what is available to us from the very beginning: health, the time adults can give, the safety of the neighborhood, the quality of the school, the circle of friends. Year after year, research confirms that starting conditions really do differ – from income and savings to life expectancy and quality of education. Across countries, the wealth gap is such that the top 10% of the population owns about half of all assets, while the bottom 40% has only a few percent, and even life expectancy is significantly higher among those with more education. This is not a verdict, but rather the terrain each of us has to walk.
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2. Consent before help. Even a sincere impulse can hurt if it’s imposed.
3. Respect people, evaluate actions. The person is never under attack; actions are the focus of the conversation.
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