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Leanne M. Shine. You Can Win Your Ex Back: With the Right Plan You Can Repair What Broke Down So Well That Your Ex Will Come Running Back to You
You Can Win Your Ex Back: With the Right Plan You Can Repair What Broke Down So Well That Your Ex Will Come Running Back to You
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Table of Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: What Went Wrong? Getting your head straight
Straws on the camel's back
The truth is in your list
What should you have done?
An end to punishment
Your situation is not irreversible
Chapter 2: Your Ironic First Steps. Acceptance of the worst
Dealing with the pain
Do you really want your ex back?
The 'Onion Peel' method
Accepting blame from your ex can work in your favor
Chapter 3: The Path to Getting Your Ex Back
No quick fixes
A planned strategy of repair
The New You
The comparison date
Chapter 4: The Right Kind of Perspective
The art of listening
Chapter 5: The Big 'Three' No-No's
Don't reek of desperation
Don't cling to your ex
Stop trying to control the situation
Chapter 6: Contact Strategies
The ideal time to contact
The ideal method of contact
What to say in your initial contact
The 'my time with you was the best' approach
How to get your ex to return your messages
When you don’t get a response
Chapter 7: Response Strategies
When to return their contact
I see how you feel
When to suggest a get together?
Hooking up again and what to avoid
"We were great, but not that great"
The all knowing thirty party
Chapter 8: Psychological Weapons. The Power of Saying "I Won't Let Myself Miss You"
Misery is the deal breaker; happiness the deal maker
The longer the distance, the greater the pull
The projection method
Something has changed
Chapter 9: The Second Chance "I'm not ready yet"
Deciding there will be a second chance
A first date, again
You're back together
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Leanne M. Shine
To those who have never experienced abandonment at the hands of a loved one it is hard to fully grasp the degree to which it hurts and the extent to which the pain it sends your way can debilitate and consume every moment of your life.
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We started the process of writing down these reasons not to lay blame but to help bring clarity to your mind about the causes behind what pushed your ex away. Your ex will probably never tell you the truth if the reason they left relates to your personal qualities and this is especially the case if your relationship was special and loving. As ironic as it is, sometimes it is easier to hurt someone by doing something that you know they won't like than by telling them that they are doing many things that you don't like.
Remind yourself right now that the real reasons your relationship ended are probably on your list. Even if this is incorrect - even if the real reasons are completely unrelated to you or you have failed to pinpoint them - there's no other way you can find out what they are right at this moment. All you can do, for now, is to move forward on the basis that it will be helpful to find out what things you could have said and done better in the past so that you can do so in the future. If the things on your list did contribute to harming your relationship, they won't again. If they didn't, then they won't harm any future relationship you establish, whether it is with your ex or someone else entirely.
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