The Ladies' Guide to True Politeness and Perfect Manners

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Leslie Eliza. The Ladies' Guide to True Politeness and Perfect Manners

PREFACE

CHAPTER I. SUGGESTIONS TO VISITERS

CHAPTER II. THE VISITED

CHAPTER III. TEA VISITERS

CHAPTER IV. THE ENTRÉE

CHAPTER V. INTRODUCTIONS

CHAPTER VI. CONDUCT IN THE STREET

CHAPTER VII. SHOPPING

CHAPTER VIII. PLACES OF AMUSEMENT

CHAPTER IX. TRAVELLING

CHAPTER X. DEPORTMENT AT A HOTEL, OR AT A LARGE BOARDING-HOUSE

CHAPTER XI. HOTEL DINNER

CHAPTER XII. SHIP-BOARD

CHAPTER XIII. LETTERS

CHAPTER XIV. PRESENTS

CHAPTER XV. CONVERSATION

CHAPTER XVI. INCORRECT WORDS

CHAPTER XVII. BORROWING

CHAPTER XVIII. OFFENCES

CHAPTER XIX. OBLIGATIONS TO GENTLEMEN

CHAPTER XX. CONDUCT TO LITERARY WOMEN

CHAPTER XXI. SUGGESTIONS TO INEXPERIENCED AUTHORS

CHAPTER XXII. CHILDREN

CHAPTER XXIII. DECORUM IN CHURCH

CHAPTER XXIV. EVENING PARTIES

CHAPTER XXV. MISCELLANIES

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An amusing writer of the last century, justly complains of the want of definite words to express, distinctly and unmistakably, the different degrees of visits, with reference to their length. Whether the stay of the guest comprises ten minutes, an hour, an evening, a day, a week, or a month, still it goes under the vague and general term of a visit.

We propose, humourously, that if the stay of the guest exceeds a week, it should be called "a visitation." If it includes a dining, or a tea-drinking, or evening-spending, it may be termed "a visit;" while a mere call can be mentioned as "a vis."

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It is to be presumed, she will not be so lost to all delicacy and propriety, as to intrude herself into the house of her enemy for the purpose of visiting you. But, if she does, it is your place civilly to decline seeing her. A slight coolness, a mere offence on a point of etiquette, which, if let alone, would die out like a tinder-spark, has been fanned, and blown into a flame by the go-betweening of a so-called mutual friend. We repeat, while you are a visiter at a house, hold no intercourse with any foe of that house. It is unkind and disrespectful to the family with whom you are staying, and very unsafe for yourself.

If you know that your friends are hurried with their sewing, or with preparations for company, offer to assist them, as far as you can. But if you are conscious of an incapacity to do such things well, it is better to excuse yourself by candidly saying so, than to attempt them and spoil them. At the same time, express your willingness to learn, if permitted. And you may learn, while staying at the house of a clever, notable friend, many things that you have hitherto had no opportunity of acquiring.

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