What Rhymes with Bastard?

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Linda Robertson. What Rhymes with Bastard?

What Rhymes with Bastard?

Heavy Petting

My Landlord is a Pervert

All Made Up

Post-modern Post

The Stroker

Easy

Moose

Would you … ?

The Arsehole

11: My Name Is Linda and I Am a Failure

Sad Song

12: Crazy for Love

13: The NHS Endurance Test

14: Pink Gold

Acknowledgements

Index

Copyright

About the Publisher

Отрывок из книги

For my mother

1 Me, Jack, and Me and Jack

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I was surprised that the M-word tasted so delicious. We were being very pragmatic about it, but we did love each other, and … well, I glowed when I thought about it. It would have been nice if Jack had asked me, but I felt honoured to be licensed to reproduce with a man of such noble bearing: with his perfect skin, vision and teeth, and no allergies, he was in the fast lane of the gene pool.

We visited my parents to break the good news. They were delighted by the M-word. ‘Marriage is a promotion for any woman!’ beamed Dad, who wrote a cheque for a thousand pounds on the spot.

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