When Your Mom Has Borderline Personality Disorder
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Linsy B. When Your Mom Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Disclaimer
Dedication
Table of Contents
Chapter 1. Introduction
Living with Manipulative, Abusive, and Controlling BPD Parent
Chapter 2. Borderline Personality Disorder Projection of Their Kids
The Good Child
The Bad Child
Earliest Influences of a Mother with BPD
Personality Disorder Symptoms
Cluster A Personality Disorders
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Schizoid Personality Disorder
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Cluster B Personality Disorders
Antisocial personality disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Histrionic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Cluster C Personality Disorders
Avoidant Personality Disorder
Dependent Personality Disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
Chapter 3. What Children of Parents with BPD, Suffer
Impact of a BPD Mother Upbringing on her Adult Child
When BPD Mothers Treat Their Kids like Surrogate Partners
It’s Their Needs That Counts Not Yours
They Also Suffer
Chapter 4. What is BPD?
Some Misdiagnosis
Aspects and Effects of BPD
Why They are BPD
Chapter 5. How to get Protection from a BPD Parent
How to Know if Your Mom Might have BPD Even without a Diagnosis
Chapter 6. Personality Types of BPD
The Waif Mother - The Undecided Victim or Martyr
The Hermit Mother – Chronic Guardian and Protector
The Queen Mother –Emperor, Ruler, and Royalty
The Witch- Cruel and No-Nonsense
Chapter 7. Healing From Borderline Personality Disorder. Get Treatment
Take Back Your Life
Accept Responsibility and Stop Blaming Her
Create Space for Yourself
Set Firm Boundaries and Refuse to Give in to Blackmail
Practice Self Control
Practice Self-Validation and Develop Your Self-Esteem
Break Free from the Past
Build an Identity for Yourself
Get Involved with Support Groups
Educate Yourself and Read Books That Provide Strategies
Use Exit to Avoid Confrontations
When Exit Strategy Does Not Work
Conclusion. Monitor your Progress
Appendix. Workbook. How to build your self Esteem back
Things You Can Do to Roll Back Your Feeling of Guilt
Here is One More Thing
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The advice and strategies found within may not be suitable for every situation. This work is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is held responsible for the results accrued from the advice in this book.
So, imagine that your phone rings, and it’s your mother’s calling, it makes you anxious and then guilty, that is the experience of kids who grow up in homes where they had to grow with the trauma of living with mothers who have BPD. Children of parents with BPD live a life that exposes them to a higher risk of exhibiting difficulties in sustaining attention, low self-esteem, social anxiety, aggressive behavior, depression, and even Borderline Personality Disorder itself.
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Many kids generally conclude that their BPD mother doesn’t like them and when they happen to have a father who understands the situation, the best memories of their childhood may be only those that involved their fathers, especially when he protects the child from the destructive actions of the BPD mother and sometimes tries to compensate for the lack of love from the mother by showering the child with high doses of love.
Usually, in such situations, the father has to bear the brunt of their mother’s venom for trying to stand up for the kids. Unfortunately, such fathers and husbands do not stay very long in the relationship where regular fighting, constant guilt game, and pity party is the order of the day, not when they have a choice to either stay or leave, a choice the defenseless child doesn’t enjoy until much later in life when the amount of damage done would have been very extensive. The child basically becomes constantly sad while growing up, who wouldn’t when you have to bear the blame for anything that goes wrong in the house and all of someone’s anger is directed at you? There is rarely any moment of happiness, the lucky ones got frequent gifts, toys, and clothes, with no emotional gift but only regular yelling, and a threat of being beaten.
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