When Your Mom Has Borderline Personality Disorder

When Your Mom Has Borderline Personality Disorder
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This book was written for young kids who presently have to live with a mother who does not seem to understand them. It shows them various tips, tricks, and ways of handling various situations. It is also written for adults who grew up in homes where they suffered various forms of abuse from their mothers while growing up. This book will help them to release those pent-up tensed moments and safely begin to recover from the anxiety they may have suffered as a result of their upbringing. It helps the readers learn various ways of not accepting that they are to blame for the situation and provides guidance on how not to descend into a victims’ mentally so that they do not also unconsciously make their kids go through the same experience as they did. Children raised by mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP) miss out on the healthy, steady, and loving relationship children with regular moms have with their moms. While it is true that there are many reasons while a child may have an unhealthy relationship with her mother, one possible explanation could also be, you were living with a mother that had borderline personality disorder. Adults who grow up with BPD mothers have great difficulty sustaining stable relationships. It's hard, really hard to live with a mom with BPD, because this personality disorder is known for its rigid pattern of unhealthy and abnormal thought patterns and behaviors, and is characterized by chronic instability in mood, behavior, relationships, and self-image. They develop a wide range of emotional problems that make it difficult for them to overcome their dysfunctional upbringing. These children may struggle with low self-esteem, anger, or depression and find out that they have difficulty getting along with their mothers. If you are one of those kids and have been wondering what could have happened, what went wrong, and if you are to blame in all of these, then, this book is for you. This book shows how heartbreaking the experience of a child with borderline personality disorder can be. The instability, emotional volatility, self-injury, and suicide attempts can be very draining and devastating for the emotions of the child and leave them feeling lost, helpless, and alone. They find that they practically have to live their life walking cautiously, scheming to avoid what’s the next inevitable rage and never able to predict what will be the next trigger. This book will talk about all of that and help you recognize that you are not to blame for your mother’s behavior, it will aid you toward healing some of your wounds.

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Linsy B. When Your Mom Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Disclaimer

Dedication

Table of Contents

Chapter 1. Introduction

Living with Manipulative, Abusive, and Controlling BPD Parent

Chapter 2. Borderline Personality Disorder Projection of Their Kids

The Good Child

The Bad Child

Earliest Influences of a Mother with BPD

Personality Disorder Symptoms

Cluster A Personality Disorders

Paranoid Personality Disorder

Schizoid Personality Disorder

Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Cluster B Personality Disorders

Antisocial personality disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Cluster C Personality Disorders

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Dependent Personality Disorder

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder

Chapter 3. What Children of Parents with BPD, Suffer

Impact of a BPD Mother Upbringing on her Adult Child

When BPD Mothers Treat Their Kids like Surrogate Partners

It’s Their Needs That Counts Not Yours

They Also Suffer

Chapter 4. What is BPD?

Some Misdiagnosis

Aspects and Effects of BPD

Why They are BPD

Chapter 5. How to get Protection from a BPD Parent

How to Know if Your Mom Might have BPD Even without a Diagnosis

Chapter 6. Personality Types of BPD

The Waif Mother - The Undecided Victim or Martyr

The Hermit Mother – Chronic Guardian and Protector

The Queen Mother –Emperor, Ruler, and Royalty

The Witch- Cruel and No-Nonsense

Chapter 7. Healing From Borderline Personality Disorder. Get Treatment

Take Back Your Life

Accept Responsibility and Stop Blaming Her

Create Space for Yourself

Set Firm Boundaries and Refuse to Give in to Blackmail

Practice Self Control

Practice Self-Validation and Develop Your Self-Esteem

Break Free from the Past

Build an Identity for Yourself

Get Involved with Support Groups

Educate Yourself and Read Books That Provide Strategies

Use Exit to Avoid Confrontations

When Exit Strategy Does Not Work

Conclusion. Monitor your Progress

Appendix. Workbook. How to build your self Esteem back

Things You Can Do to Roll Back Your Feeling of Guilt

Here is One More Thing

Отрывок из книги

The advice and strategies found within may not be suitable for every situation. This work is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is held responsible for the results accrued from the advice in this book.

So, imagine that your phone rings, and it’s your mother’s calling, it makes you anxious and then guilty, that is the experience of kids who grow up in homes where they had to grow with the trauma of living with mothers who have BPD. Children of parents with BPD live a life that exposes them to a higher risk of exhibiting difficulties in sustaining attention, low self-esteem, social anxiety, aggressive behavior, depression, and even Borderline Personality Disorder itself.

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Many kids generally conclude that their BPD mother doesn’t like them and when they happen to have a father who understands the situation, the best memories of their childhood may be only those that involved their fathers, especially when he protects the child from the destructive actions of the BPD mother and sometimes tries to compensate for the lack of love from the mother by showering the child with high doses of love.

Usually, in such situations, the father has to bear the brunt of their mother’s venom for trying to stand up for the kids. Unfortunately, such fathers and husbands do not stay very long in the relationship where regular fighting, constant guilt game, and pity party is the order of the day, not when they have a choice to either stay or leave, a choice the defenseless child doesn’t enjoy until much later in life when the amount of damage done would have been very extensive. The child basically becomes constantly sad while growing up, who wouldn’t when you have to bear the blame for anything that goes wrong in the house and all of someone’s anger is directed at you? There is rarely any moment of happiness, the lucky ones got frequent gifts, toys, and clothes, with no emotional gift but only regular yelling, and a threat of being beaten.

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