The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10

The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10
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Описание книги

Uniquely funny teenage diaries of the irresistibly hilarious Georgia – available as a ten-book set for the very first time. Gadzooks!There are so many things very wrong with my life…• The boy I like hates me and prefers a wet weed with sticky-out ears.• My so-called ‘pet’, Angus, just spat at me.• My nose is gigantic. It must have grown overnight…• I’ve just inspected my legs. I look like I’ve got hairy trousers on.Georgia, 14 – on the verge of womanhood – desperately muddles her way through make-up disasters, rapidly expanding nunga-nungas, school (urgh), unsympathetic friends, highly embarrassing family (and pets) and, of course, BOYS.Meet the Ace Gang, the Sex God, the Italian Stallion (oo-er) and cheeky Dave the Laugh in the FAB CONFESSIONS OF GEORGIA NICOLSON.

Оглавление

Louise Rennison. The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10

Contents

Sunday July 18th. My room. 6:00 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:15 p.m

7:18 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:10 p.m

9:15 p.m

Police raid. Mucho excitemondo. 12:10 a.m

Monday July 19th. 11:00 a.m

2:00 p.m

My room. 2:10 p.m

2:30 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:05 p.m

5:10 p.m

5:20 p.m

5:23 p.m

9:10 p.m

9:15 p.m

9:30 p.m

10:00 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

1:30 a.m

1:35 a.m

Tuesday July 20th. 10:00 a.m

10:36 a.m

Midday

1:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

6:35 p.m

7:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

Wednesday July 21st. Dawn– well, 10:00 a.m

2:30 p.m

3:00 p.m

3:19 p.m

3:21 p.m

3:30 p.m

3:39 p.m

3:41 p.m

Phone rang. 3:45 p.m

5:00 p.m

My room. In bed. 10:30 p.m

11:15 p.m

11:17 p.m

11:29 p.m

Thursday July 22nd. Day before the last day of my life. Hunger protest. 2:00 p.m

4:00 p.m

4:05 p.m

4:10 p.m

11:30 p.m

Friday July 23rd. The day the world ends. Midday

12:10 p.m

Great news!!!!!!!! 1:00 p.m

3:00 p.m

4:20 p.m

5:00 p.m

11:00 p.m

Saturday July 24th. 11:00 a.m

Midday

Monday July 26th. 2:00 p.m

Teatime. 4:50 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:10 p.m

My room. 8:20 p.m

8:40 p.m

8:45 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

11:00 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

Tuesday July 27th SG Day. Setting off to his house. 7:00 p.m

7:20 p.m

Walking down Arundel Street. 7:30 p.m

7:40 p.m

In the telephone box. 7:45 p.m

7:50 p.m

7:55 p.m

Midnight

12:30 a.m

1:30 a.m

1:35 a.m

1:40 a.m

Wednesday July 28th. 3:35 p.m

Friday July 30th. 5:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

10:15 p.m

Saturday July 31stbr. 7:55 p.m

Sunday August 1st. 8:00 a.m

10:00 a.m

Church. 10:40 a.m

Monday August 2nd. 12:10 p.m

3:30 p.m

Tuesday August 3rd. 10:30 p.m

Midnight

Wednesday August 4th. 4:00 p.m

4:30 p.m

4:40 p.m

4:50 p.m

4:55 p.m

5:00 p.m

7:00 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:05 p.m

8:15 p.m

8:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

Midnight

Thursday August 5th. Still boiling. 4:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

Midnight

12:15 a.m

Friday August 6th. 11:00 a.m

11:30 a.m

11:45 a.m

Midday

Saturday August 7th. 6:20 p.m

Sunday August 8th. 3:50 p.m

Monday August 9th. 11:40 a.m

Wednesday August 11th. 2:49 p.m

3:00 p.m

3:32 p.m

3:35 p.m

4:00 p.m

4:30 p.m

5:00 p.m

Friday August 13th. My bedroom. 1:00 a.m

1:05 a.m

1:06 a.m

1:10 a.m

2:00 a.m

2:05 a.m

2:05 and 30 secs

2:06 a.m

Sunday August 15th. In bed. 9:40 p.m

9:41 p.m

Monday August 16th. 9:00 a.m

Tuesday August 17th. 8:30 a.m

Thursday August 19th. 11:00 a.m

Monday August 23rd. 2:10 a.m

2:15 a.m

2:48 a.m

3:35 a.m

Thursday August 26th. 10:33 p.m

Friday August 27th. 4:20 p.m

My room. Midnight

Saturday August 28th. 2:10 p.m

10:00 p.m

11:00 p.m

11:30 p.m

11:32 p.m

Sunday August 29th. 6:30 p.m

8:00 p.m

Monday August 30th. 1:43 p.m

2:00 p.m

4:05 p.m

5:00 p.m

Wednesday September 1st. 7:00 p.m

7:05 p.m

7:08 p.m

7:30 p.m

7:42 p.m

8:30 p.m

Midnight

12:20 a.m

2:30 a.m

12:35 a.m

1:00 a.m

Saturday September 4th. 5:50 p.m

6:00 p.m

Sunday September 5th 5:10 p.m

5:45 p.m

Midnight

Monday September 6th. 10:00 p.m

Wednesday September 8th. 10:00 p.m

10:30 p.m

11:00 p.m

Thursday September 9th. 8:00 a.m

Bathroom. 8:10 a.m

8:30 a.m

9:00 a.m

Break 11:00 a.m

4:45 p.m

5:05 p.m

5:15 p.m

5:16 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:15 p.m

8:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

Wednesday September 15th. Assembly. 9:00 a.m

RE. 10:00 a.m

1:15 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:03 p.m

5:16 p.m

5:18 p.m

5:19 p.m

5:20 p.m

5:21 p.m

5:23 p.m

My bedroom. 7:00 p.m

10:30 p.m

Thursday September 16th. 8:20 a.m

11:00 a.m

5:00 p.m

5:15 p.m

5:20 p.m

5:21 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:02 p.m

6:05 p.m

6:07 p.m

11:00 p.m

Saturday September 18th. 10:00 a.m

10:05 a.m

1:00 p.m

4:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

10:00 p.m

Tuesday September 21st. 4:15 p.m

11:00 p.m

11:10 p.m

Friday September 24th. Morning break. 11:00 a.m

Lunchtime. 12:30 p.m

Afternoon break. 2:30 p.m

3:30 p.m

4:15 p.m

4:30 p.m

6:07 p.m

Monday September 27th. Sports. 2:50 p.m

In bed. 9:30 p.m

10:30 p.m

Wednesday September 29th. Operation Elastic Band. Kitchen. 8:00 a.m

3:50 p.m

Jas’s house. 5:00 p.m

9:15 p.m

Crazy Coconut. 9:30 p.m

11:00 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

2:00 a.m

3:00 a.m

3:30 a.m

4:00 a.m

Thursday September 30th. 3:00 p.m

4:30 p.m

4:45 p.m

5:00 p.m

Monday October 4th. 9:30 a.m

Geoggers. 10:00 a.m

Break. 11:00 a.m

My bedroom. 5:30 p.m

5:35 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

6:45 p.m

8:00 p.m

9:40 p.m

Tuesday October 5th. 10:30 a.m

Maths. 10:35 a.m

12:32 p.m

Physics. 1:30 p.m

5:00 p.m

Midnight

Wednesday October 6th. 4:30 p.m

My bedroom. 6:00 p.m

Thursday October 7th. 11:30 a.m

RE. 1:30 p.m

3:45 p.m

7:30 p.m

11:00 p.m

Friday October 8th. 4:00 p.m

7:00 p.m

My room. Thinking. 11:00 p.m

11:30 p.m

Midnight

12:30 a.m

12:32 a.m

Saturday October 9th. 11:50 a.m

My room. 2:30 p.m

4:00 p.m

5:30 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:05 p.m

6:30 p.m

Bed. 11:00 p.m

11:30 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

1:15 a.m

1:30 a.m

Sunday October 10th. 10:00 p.m

Monday October 11th. School. 8:30 a.m

Last bell. 3:50 p.m

7:00 p.m

8:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

Tuesday October 12th. Hockey pitch. 2:30 p.m

2:50 p.m

Half-time. No score. 3:15 p.m

4:10 p.m

4:30 p.m

6:15 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:15 p.m

7:45 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

10:10 p.m

Wednesday October 13th. School. 8:30 a.m

4:00 p.m

5:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

Saturday October 16th. 11:00 a.m

2:30 p.m

In bed. 8:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

11:00 p.m

Midnight

3:00 a.m

Monday October 18th. School. Break. 2:15 p.m

French. 3:00 p.m

3:30 p.m

4:00 p.m

4:30 p.m

5:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

My room. 8:30 p.m

8:35 p.m

8:40 p.m

8:45 p.m

8:46 p.m

8:50 p.m

8:56 p.m

8:57 p.m

Midnight

2:00 a.m

Tuesday October 19th. 8:45 a.m

Balloon city. 4:00 p.m

First of the loons arrive. 5:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

7:00 p.m

12:30 a.m

1:00 a.m

Wednesday October 20th. 12:30 p.m

12:45 p.m

1:00 p.m

1:25 p.m

4:00 p.m

5:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

7:20 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

1:05 a.m

1:10 a.m

1:15 a.m

1:20 a.m

1:25 a.m

1:30 a.m

Contents

Thursday October 21st. 1:00 p.m

2:00 p.m

3.30 p.m

3:50 p.m

4.10 p.m

4.30 p.m

4.45 p.m

7:00 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:05 p.m

8:15 p.m

Operation Explain-brilliant-not-going-to-Scotland-plan-to-Mutti-and-Vati 8:30 p.m

11:00 p.m

Friday october 22ndScotland Raining In a crap cottage in nowhere10:30 p.m

1:15 a.m

Saturday October 23rd10:30 a.m

11:00 a.m

11:10 a.m

1:00 p.m

8:59 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

9:35 p.m

Midnight

12:30 a.m

1:00 a.m

1:30 a.m

1:35 a.m

Sunday October 24th. 10:20 a.m

10:31 a.m

11:04 a.m

11:50 p.m

Midday

1:00 p.m

1:20 p.m

1:36 p.m

4:00 p.m

4:30 p.m

7:00 p.m

11:00 p.m

11:10 p.m

11:20 p.m

11:30 p.m

11:35 p.m

Midnight

12:10 a.m

Monday October 25th. 10:00 a.m

2:00 p.m

4:20 p.m

4:30 p.m

4:45 p.m

Phone box 5 mins later4:55 p.m

My room. 6:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

11:00 p.m

Tuesday October 26th. 10:00 a.m

10:15 a.m

8:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

10:00 p.m

Wednesday October 27th. 6:00 a.m

9:00 a.m

11:00 a.m

1:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:15 p.m

6:30 p.m

7:55 p.m

8:25 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:05p.m

10:00 p.m

10:30 p.m

10:00 p.m

10:50 p.m

10:55 p.m

11:00 p.m

Midnight

12:15 a.m

Thursday October 28th. 10:00 a.m

11:00 a.m

11:15 a.m

Midday

12:30 p.m

4:00 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:10 p.m

5:20 p.m

5:22 p.m

5:30 p.m

Outside Robbie’s house. 6:00 p.m

My bedroom. 10:00 p.m

My bedroom 10:20 p.m

11:00 p.m

Friday October 29th. 11:10 a.m

6:00 p.m

Waching TV 9:00 p.m

9:10 p.m

Saturday October 30th. 10:30 a.m

11:00 a.m

Midday

12:30 p.m

12:45 p.m

12:50 p.m

1:00 p.m

8:00 p.m

9:10 p.m

11:30 p.m

Sunday October 31st. Halloween 10:30 a.m

11:00 a.m

2:00 p.m

3:00 p.m

5:30 p.m

Monday November 1st. Back to School. Sacré bleu, merde and double poo. At “breakfast” 7:50 a.m

8:15 a.m

Assembly. 9:00 a.m

9:35 a.m

Lunchtime 12:30 p.m

1:30 p.m

3:50 p.m

7:15 p.m

Midnight

Tuesday November 2nd. Lunchtime

8:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

10:15 p.m

11:00 p.m

1:00 a.m

Wednesday November 3rd. 7:00 a.m

8:18 a.m

German11:15 a.m

Hockey. 3:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

Home. 7:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

1:15 a.m

Thursday November 4th. Operation Glove Animal. 8:30 a.m

7:00 p.m

9:10 p.m

9:30 p.m

In my room. 9:50 p.m

10:00 p.m

10:10 p.m

Friday November 5th. Bonfire night. 4:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:30 p.m

My bedroom 10:00 p.m

11:30 p.m

Saturday November 6th. 11:00 a.m

1:00 p.m

2:00 p.m

3:00 p.m

4:30 p.m

4:45 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:10 p.m

5:30 p.m

5:35 p.m

5:37 p.m

5:39 p.m

6:20 p.m

6:30 p.m

6:35 p.m

6:38 p.m

6:45 p.m

6:50 p.m

Beautosity headquarters. 7:00 p.m

Clock tower. 8:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

5 minutes later 9:35 p.m

9:50 p.m

10:00 p.m

10:20 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

2:00 a.m

2:30 a.m

3:00 a.m

3:01 a.m

3:03 a.m

3:04 a.m

3:05 a.m

3:15 a.m

Sunday November 7th. 9:00 a.m

10:00 p.m

11:30 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

1:15 a.m

Monday November 8th. 7:45 a.m

8:15 a.m

French 1:30 p.m

Break. 2:30 p.m

4:10 p.m

Dinnertime 6:00 p.m

6:20 p.m

7:30 p.m

My bedroom. 7:50 p.m

8:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:05 p.m

11:05 p.m

11:10 p.m

Midnight

Tuesday November 9th. 7:50 a.m

Walking to school with Jas. 8:30 a.m

German. 10:20 a.m

French 1:30 p.m

6:00 p.m

1:10 p.m

My bedroom. 8:00 p.m

8:05 p.m

11:00 p.m

Wednesday November 10th. Biology 1:30 p.m

10:00 p.m

11:00 p.m

In bed. midnight

Tuesday November 11th. 8:30 a.m

11:00 a.m

PE 1:30 a.m

Break. 2:30 p.m

Saturday November 13th. 11:00 a.m

Midday

3:00 p.m

3:30 p.m

8:00 p.m

Midnight

Saturday November 14th. Lunchtime. 1:10 p.m

2:00 p.m

8:00 p.m

Monday November 15th. French. 1:30 p.m

Break. 2:30 p.m

At home. 4:30 p.m

7:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

1:15 a.m

Tuesday November 16th. 2:45 p.m

4:01 p.m

6:30 p.m

6:38 p.m

6:40 p.m

11:00 p.m

Thursday November 18th. Physics. 10:20 a.m

Lanchtime 12:30 p.m

Friday November 19th. 11:00 a.m

RE. 1:30 p.m

Break. 2:30 p.m

Saturday November 20th. Saturday night is party night. 7:00 p.m

Rosie’s house. 8:20 p.m

9:20 p.m

9:30 p.m

My bed. Midnight

Sunday November 21st. Breakfast11:20 a.m

The end

Contents

Saturday March 5th. 11:00 a.m. As the crow flies

11:20 a.m

11:25 a.m

11:28 a.m

12:00 p.m

12:05 p.m

12:30 p.m

1:15 p.m

1:30 p.m

2:20 p.m

2:30 p.m

2:35 p.m

2:50 p.m

2:55 p.m

Bathroom 3:00 p.m

3:30 p.m

3:45 p.m

3:50 p.m

4:00 p.m

My bedroom, in my bed of pain (quite literally) 10:00 PM

10:05 p.m

10:15 pm

10:20 pm

10:25 PM

10:28 PM

10:33 PM

Mr Next Door’s garden 10:40 p.m

Sunday March 6th

8:15 a.m

8:30 a.m

8:35 a.m

9:05 a.m

9:36 a.m

9:37 a.m

9:38 a.m

9:40 a.m

Intheloo 9:50 a.m

In the street out side my house 10:10 a.m

Church

11:45 a.m

Lunchtime

Monday March 7th Back to Stalag 14

Assembly

Lunchtime

3:00 a.m

4:15 p.m

Home (ha)5:00 p.m

Kitche 5:30 pm

Only 6:30 pm

6:35 p.m

7:35 p.m

In the loo

8:3O p.m

8:45 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:05 p.m

9:15 p.m

9:20 p.m

10:00 p.m

10:05 p.m

In the loo 11:00 p.m

Wednesday March 9th

Bathroom 7:30 a.m

Breakfast

8:20 a.m

8:35 a.m

Assembly

RE

11:00 am

4:15 p.m

In my room 4:45 p.m

5:30 p.m

6:00 p.m

In bed 7:00 p.m

7:30 p.m

8:00 PM

8:05 p.m

8:10 p.m

8:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

Thursday March 10th Maths

English

4:30 p.m

4:45 p.m

5:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

7:00 p.m

Bedroom

In Mutti’s bedroom 7:15 p.m

7:30 p.m

7:40 p.m

7:45 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:30 p.m

Friday March 11th

6:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:30 p.m

10:00 p.m

Midnight

12:05 a.m

12:13 a.m

12:20 a.m

SaturdayMarch 12th 11:00 a.m

12:30 p.m

4:00 p.m

4:30 p.m

5:00 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:45 p.m

8:15 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:15 p.m

In bed 11:45 p.m

Midnight

Sunday March 13th

2:00 p.m

2:20 p.m

5:00 p.m

Still only 8:00 p.m

Monday March 14th Break

Home 6:38 p.m

7:00 p.m

In my bedroom 7:15 p.m

Ten minutes later

10:00 p.m

Tuesday March 15th

7:00 p.m

7:45 p.m

7:59 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:02 p.m

Midnight

Wednesday March 16th

Break

Hockey

Jas’s place 5:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

Home

9:00 p.m

9:03 p.m

9:05 p.m

9:15 p.m

9:35 p.m

9:40 p.m

Midnight

Thursday March 17th

Saturday march 19th

11:00 p.m

11:15 p.m

Friday April 1st, AH Fools boy

Friday April 8th

11:00 p.m

Midnight

Monday April 11th. School

11:00 a.m

Swimming

In the pool

3:00 p.m

Saturday April 16th

1:15 p.m

Home

7:50 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:25 p.m

8:40 p.m

In bed

Midnigh

12:35 a.m

Monday April 8th Stalag 14

8:50 a.m

English

Break

School gates 4:00 pm

Home

5:00 p.m

5:05 p.m

5:30 p.m

5:45 p.m

6:00 p.m

Bedroom

6:30 pm

6:45 pm

7:00 pm

8:00 pm

11:00 p.m

Tuesday April 19th Jas’s house

Maths

Break

Lunchtime

Five minutes later

Outside

Blodge

4:15 p.m

Home 5:30 p.m

Dr Clooney’s

In the clown car 7:00 p.m

Home

10:00 p.m

My bedroom Midnight

12:00 a.m

Thursday April 21st

8:10 a.m

Midday

8:00 p.m

8:05 p.m

8:30 p.m

8:45 p.m

My bedroom

Midnight

12:05 a.m

12:15 a.m

12:20 a.m

12:25 a.m

Friday April 22nd. On the way to Stalag 14

Break

English

Lunchtime

1:00 a.m

Saturday April 23rd

11:30 a.m

4:00 p.m

7:00 p.m

Stiff Dylans gig 8:15 p.m

9:35 p.m

10:00 p.m

11:00 p.m

11:07 p.m

11:30 p.m

In bed 1:00 a.m

1:05 a.m

1:30 a.m

1:40 a.m

1:45 a.m

1:48 a.m

2:01 a.m

Sunday April 24th

4:30 p.m

5:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

Midnight

12:10 a.m

1:00 a.m

1:10 a.m

2:00 a.m

2:05 a.m

Monday April 25th German

Break, Knicker Toaster Headquarters

Lunchtime

On the way home 4:15 p.m

Tuesday April 26th

5:10 p.m

5:40 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

11:00 p.m

Wednesday April 27th Breakfast

Break, on the Knickers toaster

Games

Detention 4:20 p.m

4:25 p.m

Thursday evening, April 28th

Friday April 29th. Lunchtime

4:30 p.m

5:35 p.m

6:00 p.m

7:15 p.m

7:40 p.m

7:42 p.m

8:45 p.m

10:00 p.m

Midnight

Saturday April 30th

10:30 a.m

11:00 a.m

12:00 p.m

1:00 p.m

2:30 p.m

3:30 p.m

4:10 p.m

Sunday May 1st

9:30 a.m

9:40 a.m

10:00 a.m

1:00 p.m

2:00 p.m

3:00 p.m

4:00 p.m

5:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

Midnight

Tuesday May 3rd

Assembly

Physics

Lunchtime

3:00 p.m

3:45 p.m

4:30 p.m

4:32 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:10 p.m

5:15 p.m

5:16 p.m

In bed 9:30 p.m

11:00 p.m

11:10 p.m

Wednesday May 4th Evening

8:30 p.m

11.00 p.m

11.10 p.m

11:15 p.m

Midnight

12:05 p.m

12:10 p.m

Contents

Saturday May 7th

10:05 a.m

10:10 a.m

10:15 a.m

10:20 a.m

10:25 a.m

10:30 a.m

11:00 a.m

11:10 a.m

11:11 a.m

11:13 a.m

11:15 a.m

12:00 p.m

Outside the front-room door 9:10 p.m

Front room

10:00 p.m

10:10 p.m

In my bedroom

One minute later

Two minutes later

Five minutes later

One minute later

Four minutes later

Five minutes later

Five minutes later

Monday May 9th. The crack of 8:00 a.m

8:25 a.m

Five minutes later

Stalag 14

Assembly

Corridor 9:30 a.m

9:36 a.m

Blodge

On the knicker toaster Break

German

4:30 p.m

5:00 p.m

In my bedroom

Five minutes later

Ten minutes later

Five minutes later

Ten minutes later

Tuesday May 10th. on the way home

Five minutes later

5:30 p.m

5:35 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:25 p.m

6:40 p.m

6:45 p.m

6:50 p.m

7:30 p.m

7:35 p.m

Wednesday May 11th. In my bedroom 7:07 p.m

One minute later

8:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

11:00 p.m

11:15 p.m

Midnight

12:05 a.m

12:10 a.m

Thursday May 12th. Ten days to Hamburger-a-gogo land on the way to school

9:30 p.m

Midnight

Friday May 13th. Nine days to Hamburger-a-gogo land Dawn

7:25 a.m

Chaos headquarters 8:00 a.m

8:30 a.m

Maths

Lunchtime Operation Track Down the Luuurve God

4:30 p.m

Le Weekend. 11:00 a.m

12:00 p.m

12:01 p.m

12:03 p.m

12:30 p.m

12:35 p.m

12:40 p.m

Sunday May 15th. Seven days to Hamburger-a-gogo land Midday

2:00 p.m

The park, sitting on the swings 4:30 p.m

Home 5:30 p.m

5:45 p.m

5:50 p.m

6:15 p.m

6:30 p.m

7:15 p.m

7:25 p.m

7:28 p.m

7:33 p.m

8:00 p.m

In my bedroom

Midnight

Tuesday May 17th. Five days to Hamburger-a-gogo land Evening

Wednesday May 18th. Four days to Hamburger-a-gogo land Evening

8:15 p.m

In the front room

10:00 p.m

2:00 a.m

Thursday May 19th. Three days to Hamburger-a-gogo land In bed 11:00 p.m

Friday May 20th. Two days to Hamburger-a-gogo land 8:00 a.m

Bathroom 8:10 a.m

Lunchtime

On the way home 4:30 p.m

Bedroom

5:00 p.m

5:15 p.m

5:20 p.m

5:30 p.m

6:00 p.m

7:00 p.m

Later

In my bedroom of pain 9:30 p.m

In bed looking at the moon 11:00 p.m

11:20 p.m

11:25 p.m

11:30 p.m

Saturday May 21st. One day to Hamburger-a-gogo land 9:30 a.m

10:30 a.m

11:15 a.m

11:20 a.m

12:10 p.m

12:20 p.m

12:24 p.m

12:30 p.m

12:45 p.m

1:00 p.m

2:00 p.m

2:15 p.m

6:30 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:10 p.m

7:30 p.m

My bedroom 8:30 p.m

8:45 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:15 p.m

9:28 p.m

In the hall 9:30 p.m

In bed 11:05 p.m

Ten minutes later

Thirty seconds later

Twenty seconds later

Sunday May 22nd. 8:30 a.m

9:00 a.m

9:15 a.m

9:25 a.m

9:30 a.m

In the departure lounge 11:00 a.m

12:00 p.m

Two hours later

An hour later

Fifteen thousand hours, or something

Half an hour later

Two minutes later

Touchdown

Memphis airport

Twenty minutes later

Customs

In our rental car

4:00 p.m. timewise

4:30 p.m

Hotel 5:00 p.m

Poolsidewise

Ten minutes later

Fifteen minutes later

Half an hour of alrighty time later

Inside

Our room

Monday May 23rd. 8:30 a.m

9:00 a.m. Hamburgertimewise

Fifteen minutes later

11:30 a.m

Out of the Loonmobile and amazingly still alive

In the drugstore

Telephone box

Fifteen minutes later

Fifteen minutes later

Bus station

Tuesday May 24th. Poolside 1:00 p.m

Evening

Wednesday May 25th. Midday

In our hotel 8:00 p.m

Thursday May 26th. Only three days till we go back to England Poolside

3:00 p.m

Evening

Inside Gaylords

Five minutes later

Two minutes later

Four minutes later

Two minutes later

Friday May 27th. only two more days to go

At the clown-car convention

2:00 p.m

Saturday May 28th. Last whole day

Nuddy-pants bison-horn photo session

Sunday May 29th. Farewell Hamburger-a-gogo

Still Sunday May 29th. Circling over England 7:45 p.m

Heathrow Airport

8:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:15 p.m

In the loo

In the kitchen

In my bedroom

9:20 p.m

9:22 p.m

9:30 p.m

10:00 p.m

Monday May 30th. 7:30 a.m

8:30 a.m

Stalag 14

Behind the fives court Break time

11:15 a.m

4:30 p.m

Home

6:00 p.m

Tuesday May 31st. English

Wednesday June 1st. 8:15 a.m

8:30 a.m

8:45 a.m

French

Break

Home 6:30 p.m

8:00 p.m

10:30 p.m

Bed of pain

Thursday June 2nd

Bathroom 4:45 p.m

4:48 p.m

4:50 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:01 p.m

5:45 p.m

In my room 7:00 p.m

7:30 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:10 p.m

8:30 p.m

8:40 p.m

Friday June 3rd. 8:15 a.m

Four minutes later

Make-up plan

Ambling up the hill to Stalag 14

Geoggers

Break

School gates 4:20 p.m

4:30 p.m

High Street 4:45 p.m

5:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:30 p.m

7:45 p.m

9:30 p.m

Midnight

1:00 a.m

Saturday June 4th. Churchill Square 11:00 a.m

Ravel 11:30 a.m

In the shoe shop

Five minutes later

Five minutes later

Bedroom 1:00 p.m

1:30 p.m

5:30 p.m

In my room 5:45 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:15 p.m

7:25 p.m

On the way to Jas’s

7:45 p.m

Clock tower 8:00 p.m

In the tarts’ wardrobe 8:40 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

9:40 p.m

10:15 p.m

10:35 p.m

10:40 p.m

10:50 p.m

In the tarts’ enclosure

Back in the club

11:30 p.m

12:30 a.m

1:00 a.m

1:30 a.m

Lying quite literally in my bed of pain 2:30 a.m

2:35 a.m

2:40 a.m

2:45 a.m

2:46 a.m

Sunday June 5th. 10:00 a.m

10:15 a.m

10:30 a.m

11:00 a.m

Midday

1:00 p.m

1:25 p.m

2:00 p.m

4:00 p.m

Midnight

Monday June 6th. 8:30 a.m

10:00 a.m

10:30 a.m

10:40 a.m

12:00 p.m

2:00 p.m

2:10 p.m

3:00 p.m

3:45 p.m

4:00 p.m

4:10 p.m

4:25 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:15 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:35 p.m

6:45 p.m

Tuesday June 7th

6:30 p.m

6:50 p.m

7:30 p.m

7:33 p.m

7:35 p.m

7:38 p.m

7:40 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:10 p.m

8:15 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:05 p.m

In my bedroom

10:00 p.m

10:30 p.m

11:00 p.m

Wednesday June 8th. Stalag 14

In the corridor 9:00 a.m

Fives court emergency tactical meeting

At home 6:00 p.m

Saturday June 11th. 2:00 p.m

2:10 p.m

3:00 p.m

An hour later

5:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

6:45 p.m

7:00 p.m

Monday June 13th. English 2:00 p.m

Backstage

Hanging around backstage with the lads and Dave the Laugh 3:15 p.m

3:20 p.m

3:30 p.m

3:33 p.m

3:35 p.m

3:37 p.m

3:50 p.m

4:30 p.m

Home

One minute later

Two minutes later

Two minutes later

Tuesday June 14th

Operation Go on a Date with a Luuurve God and Not Make a Complete and Utter Prat of Myself 5:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

7:30 p.m

Ten minutes later

Twenty minutes later

An hour later

In bed, the bed of the Luuurve Goddess

Later

Ten minutes later

Fifteen minutes later

Wednesday June 15th

Break

Last period

3:30 p.m

In my room. 5:30 p.m

6:15 p.m

6:16 p.m

7:00 p.m

8:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

9:40 p.m

10:30 p.m

Midnight

Thursday June 16th. Stalag 14 Love hell

German

Break

7:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:30 p.m

9:40 p.m

Friday June 17th. School

4:10 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:10 p.m

5:20 p.m

In my room

Five minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

Two minutes later

One minute later

Three minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

Four minutes later

Three minutes later

One minute later

In the kitchen

In my room

Contents

Saturday June 18th. 9:00 p.m

Looking out of my bedroom window at the stars. 9:01 p.m

9:03 p.m

9:03 p.m. and a half

9:04 p.m

9:05 p.m

9:10 p.m

9:25 p.m

9:26 p.m

9:30 p.m

9:40 p.m

9:42 p.m

9:45 p.m

Midnight

12:10 a.m

12:20 a.m

12:26 a.m

12:30 a.m

12:31 a.m

12:36 a.m

12:39 a.m

12:41 a.m

12:42 a.m

12:45 a.m

12:52 a.m

12:54 a.m

Sunday June 19th. My bedroom. 10:00 a.m

11:00 a.m

11:30 a.m

11:35 a.m

Jas’s bedroom. Lunchtime

Ten minutes later

Ten minutes later

1:30 p.m

One minute later

Back in my bedroom of pain. 7:00 p.m

Five minutes later

Ten minutes later

One minute later

In the kitchen

Five minutes later

7:30 p.m

7:40 p.m

Five minutes later

Five minutes later

Ten minutes later

In the bathroom

In Mutti and Vati’s bedroom

One minute later

One minute later

8:10 p.m

Wandering lonely as a clud round the house. 8:15 p.m

Ten minutes later

Loony alert. One minute later

10:00 p.m

Two minutes later

10:35 p.m

Midnight

2:00 a.m

Monday June 20th. 8:00 a.m

Cleaning my tushy pegs. Ten minutes later

One minute later

8:40 a.m

Hobbling into Stalag 14

Assembly

One minute later

One minute later

Outside Slim’s office. Ten minutes later

Two minutes later

German

Fifteen minutes later

Break

Two minutes later

4:15 p.m

Home

One minute later

Ten minutes later

Twenty minutes later

Park

Two minutes later

One minute later

Walking up my road

8:00 p.m

In bed. 11:00 p.m

Tuesday June 21st. 7:30 a.m

Wednesday June 22nd. 6:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

8:30 p.m

Midnight

Thursday June 23rd. Banging on Jas’s door. 7:50 a.m

One minute later

One minute later

Walking along to Stalag 14. 8:30 a.m

Assembly

Break

In bed. 7:30 p.m

7:45 p.m

8:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

9:10 p.m

Samedi

Friday June 24th. Dawn

One minute later

7:40 a.m

8:10 a.m

8:15 a.m

8:20 a.m

8:30 a. m

Assembly

Behind the fives court. Break time

Two minutes later

Maths

One minute later

Five minutes later

Afternoon break

Ten minutes later

MacUseless rehearsals. 4:10 p.m

Five minutes later

Five minutes later

Two minutes later

Back in the tarts’ wardrobe for a final make-up check Ten minutes later

6:00 p.m

Two minutes later

Ten minutes later

Two minutes later

6:15 p.m

6:25 p.m

In my bedroom. 6:45 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:15 p.m

7:30 p.m

7:45 p.m

7:55 p.m

7:58 p.m

7:59 p.m

8:00 p.m

8:05 p.m

8:10 p.m

8:30 p.m

9:02 p.m

9:03 p.m

9:08 p.m

9:10 p.m

9:20 p.m

9:30 p.m

9:32 p.m

9:33 p.m

9:34 p.m

9:35 p.m

9:40 p.m

Downstairs. 9:45 p.m

9:46 p.m

9:48 p.m

Four minutes later

In my bedroom. 10:00 p.m

10:10 p.m

Two minutes later

Two minutes later

Five minutes later

Saturday June 25th. 8:30 a.m

In the bathroom

Kitchen

In my bedroom. Back in my bed of pain. 10:00 a.m

Thirty minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

Five minutes later

In Libby’s room. Ten minutes later

Two minutes later

11:00 a.m

11:05 a.m

11:07 a.m

11:10 a.m

11:11 a.m

Hysteria Headquarters. Two minutes later

Two minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

Fifteen minutes later

In my bedroom. 4:00 p.m

5:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

Fifteen minutes later

8:30 p.m

Two minutes later

Ten minutes later

Five minutes later

Five minutes later

9:30 p.m

Sunday June 26th. 9:00 a.m

Walking to church. 9:45 a.m

Home again in my room. 12:30 p.m

Evening

Monday June 27th

8:30 a.m

Assembly

Break

Blodge

Games. Swimming pool

3:00 p.m

4:10 pm

Home

6:30 p.m

In my bedroom. Ten minutes later

Five minutes later

One minute later

In the kitchen

One minute later

Three minutes later

My bedroom. 8:30 p.m

10:30 p.m

Five minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

Tuesday June 28th. In the kitchen

11:00 a.m

English. In the gym

Ten minutes later

Walking home. 4:30 p.m

Friday July 1st. 1:00 p.m

One minute later

Emergency Ace Gang meeting. Afternoon break

Physics

Five minutes later

Five minutes later

One minute later

Two minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

Two minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

Two minutes later

Mad Headquarters. Otherwise known as MacUseless rehearsals. 4:30 p.m

Five minutes later

Walking home together

Fifteen minutes later

Nearly home

In my room

Saturday July 2nd. Downtown. Lunchtime

1:30 p.m

Boots

Evening

Clock tower. 7:00 p.m

Katie Steadman’s house. 7:40 p.m

7:45 p.m

8:45 p.m

Having a breather in the garden. 9:30 p.m

Half an hour later

10:40 p.m

11:00 p.m

11:30 p.m

Five minutes later

Five minutes later

One minute later

Ducked down behind a car. Thirty seconds later

One minute later

Two minutes later

In my room

Five minutes later

Thirteen minutes later

Sunday July 3rd. 10:30 a.m

Me and Jas in my bed eating cornflakes. 12:00 p.m

12:15 p.m

12:30 p.m

In the woods. 3:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

10:00 p.m

10:10 p.m

10:15 p.m

10:30 p.m

10:35 p.m

10:45 p.m

Midnight

12:03 a.m

12:05 a.m

12:07 a.m

12:10 a.m

Monday July 4th. On the way to Stalag 14. 8:20 a.m

8:30 a.m

8:35 a.m

8:40 a.m

2:00 p.m

2:30 p.m

2:35 p.m

In the corridor, lolloping along to French. 2:55 p.m

3:00 p.m

On the way home. 4:30 p.m

Five minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

Five minutes later

Lesbian Monastery Training Headquarters, aka, my. bedroom. Evening

Wednesday July 6th. Afternoon break

4:30 p.m

Three minutes later

Five minutes later

Fifteen minutes later

Friday July 8th. MacUseless Headquarters. 4:50 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:50 p.m

8:30 p.m

9:10 p.m

9:15 p.m

Still jogging. Two minutes later

Midnight

Ten minutes past midnight

Saturday July 9th

7:00 p.m

7:05 p.m

7:30 p.m

The banquet scene. 8:30 p.m

9:30 p.m

9:45 p.m

9:55 p.m

10:20 p.m

Walking home with the rest of the gang. 10:45 p.m

Midnight

Sunday July 10th. 1:30 p.m

2:00 p.m

2:30 p.m

Four minutes later

Walking up the garden path in a very odd way

Five minutes later

6:00 p.m

6:25 p.m

Monday July 11th

Assembly

French

P. E

Ace Gang Headquarters

1:30 p.m

German

On the way home

Wednesday July 13th

4:10 p.m

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

Three minutes later

Half an hour later

In bed

Midnight

12:10 a.m

12:15 a.m

12:30 a.m

Thursday July 14th

In the park. 4:30 p.m

5:00 p.m

5:30 p.m

7:00 p.m

7:40 p.m

Friday July 15th. 10:00 a.m

One minute later

One minute later

Lunchtime

Walking home

5:00 p.m

Saturday July 16th. 11:00 a.m

Jas on the phone. Thirty seconds later

3:00 p.m

4:00 p.m

5:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

7:00 p.m

Clock tower

Fifteen minutes later

In the tarts’ wardrobe

8:30 p.m

8:35 p.m

8:40 p.m

Two minutes later

Stiff Dylans onstage

Half an hour later

Half an hour later

Back in the club. Five minutes later

10:45 p.m

Five minutes later

In the tarts’ wardrobe

One minute later

One minute later

In the club

Tarts’ wardrobe

Back in the club

Contents

Saturday July 30th. Camping fiasco. 11:30 p.m

11:32 p.m

11:33 p.m

11:34 p.m

11:35 p.m

11:36 p.m

11:37 p.m

Two minutes later

Thirty seconds later

Four seconds later

One minute later

Ten seconds later

Five seconds later

Three seconds later

Four seconds later

Ten seconds later

Midnight

Ten past midnight

Sunday July 31st. 11:00 a.m

Ten minutes later

Twenty minutes later

Five minutes later

4:00 p.m

Two minutes later

Two minutes later

Kitchen

Four minutes later

Five minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

Ten minutes later

One minute later

Thirty seconds later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

In my bedroom looking in the mirror

One minute later

Five minutes later

One minute later

Lying on my bed of pain. 8:00 p.m

Thirty seconds later

One minute later

In my bedroom. 8:45 p.m

Five minutes later

Five minutes later

9:30 p.m

Twenty-five minutes later

11:00 p.m

Back in bed

Midnight

12:10 a.m

Monday August 1st. 8:00 a.m

Looking in the mirror

Ten minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

Thirty seconds later

In my room

Twenty seconds later

An hour later

Two minutes later

In the park. 2:00 p.m

Ten minutes later

One minute later

Thirty seconds later

Two minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

Twelve minutes later

In bed

Two minutes later

Five minutes later

One minute later

Five minutes later

Two minutes later

Four minutes later

Three minutes later

Two minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

Tuesday August 2nd. 9:30 a.m

Two minutes later

Back in my bedroom. Ten minutes later

Back in the kitchen. 9:45 a.m

Five minutes later

9:55 a.m

10:10 a.m

Fifteen minutes later

Half an hour later

Twenty minutes later

Two minutes later

Thirty minutes later

One hour later

Phone rang

Five minutes later

An hour later

Four minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

Thirty seconds later

Ten seconds later

One minute later

Two minutes later

One minute later

Five minutes later

On the way round to Jas’s

Round at Jas’s

Home again. 9:00 p.m

9:19 p.m

Friday August 5th. Early Evening

Five minutes later

In Mum’s bedroom

Two minutes later

One minute later

Sunday August 7th

9:45 p.m

In bed

9:50 p.m

Ten minutes later

Five minutes later

One minute later

10:15 p.m

Two minutes later

Back in my room

Four minutes later

11:29 p.m

Midnight

Monday August 8th. 8:30 a.m

In the kitchen

Fifteen minutes later

Tuesday August 9th. 10:00 p.m

Wednesday August 10th

Thursday August 11th

Lunchtime

At Rosie’s. Evening

One hour later

Friday August 12th. In my bedroom

Saturday August 13th

Monday August 15th. 10:30 a.m

Two minutes later

Tuesday August 16th

Wednesday August 17th

Thursday August 18th. 2:30 p.m

Saturday August 20th. Sven’s Viking extravaganza gig night. 6:30 p.m

6:45 p.m

6:50 p.m

7:00 p.m

Buddha Lounge. 8:00 p.m

In the tarts’ wardrobe

Back on the dance floor

8:30 p.m

8:35 p.m

9:00 p.m

Out in the club

One minute later

Two minutes later

Three minutes later

Twenty minutes later

Thirty seconds later

In bed with the owl (and her mates) 1:00 a.m

Sunday August 21st. Home 11:00 a.m

Two minutes later

Five minutes later

Ten minutes later

Half an hour of ditherosity later

4:00 p.m

4:30 p.m

Two minutes later

Ten minutes later

Tuesday August 23rd. In the kitchen. 5:30 p.m

6:00 p.m

Half an hour later

7:15 p.m

At Rosie’s in her bedroom. 8:00 p.m

9:00 p.m

Still at Rosie’s. 9:20 p.m

10:00 p.m

On the way home. Fifteen minutes later

An hour later

Ten minutes later

Midnight

Wednesday August 24th. 8:00 a.m

In my bedroom

One hour later

10:40 a.m

One minute later

Evening

11:00 p.m

Ten minutes later

Forty years later

Midnight

Thirty seconds later

Vet’s surgery

Thursday August 25th. Dawn

Five minutes later

Ten minutes later

Five minutes later

7:30 a.m

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

Surgery. 9:00 a.m

At home. 11:00 a.m

Five minutes later

Ten minutes later

In the park

Thirty seconds later

Five minutes later

At the vet’s. 5:00 p.m

Walking home

Lying in my bed. 6:30 p.m

9:00 p.m

Friday August 26th

9:00 a.m

At the vet’s. 10:30 a.m

Two hours later

11:00 p.m

Saturday August 27th

11:00 p.m

11:20 p.m

Sunday August 28th

Monday August 29th

9:00 p.m

Thirty minutes later

Forty minutes later

Tuesday August 30th. 10:00 a.m

In bed

Midnight

Wednesday August 31st

Thursday September 1st. 8:00 a.m

Two minutes later

10:30 a.m

Twenty minutes later

Five minutes later

One minute later

Ten minutes later

Ten minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

Three minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

One minute later

Five minutes later

Ten minutes later

Friday September 2nd. Up at the crack of 10:30 a.m

Twenty minutes later

11:00 a.m

Four minutes later

Two minutes later

Five minutes later

Four minutes later

Twelve minutes later

Saturday September 3rd. 9:00 a.m

Tuesday September 6th

4:00 p.m

Five minutes later

Wednesday September 7th

At the vet’s. 5:30 p.m

Back home

Round at mine

Two hours later

Sunday September 11th. In bed. 11:30 p.m

Monday September 12th. 7:00 a.m

In the bathroom. 7:25 a.m

7:40 a.m

8:30 a.m

8:38 a.m

Assembly

Fifteen minutes later

Four minutes later

French

Lunchtime

German

Five minutes later

One minute later

Still incarcerated in Stalag 14. Afternoon break

One minute later

One minute later

Bell went

English

4:00 p.m

4:15 p.m

Five minutes later

In my bedroom

Two minutes later

Two hours later

Two minutes later

Midnight

Two minutes later

Twenty-five minutes later

Wednesday September 14th. Up at the crack of 7:00 a.m

8:15 a.m

Ten minutes later

Rom and Jule read-through and audition in the main hall. 2:00 p.m

Ten minutes later

Ten minutes later

Twenty-five minutes later

In the loos. 4:00 p.m

Ten minutes later

One hour later

Fifteen minutes later

Thirty seconds later

Ten seconds later

One minute later

Two minutes later

Midnight

Thursday September 15th

Stalag 14

RE. 9:45 a.m

Art room

Thirty seconds later

Five minutes later

Two minutes later

4:20 p.m

5:30 p.m

Four minutes later

Coffee bar

One hour later

At home in bed

In my bedroom. 10:30 p.m

10:50 p.m

10:52 p.m

11:00 p.m

11:05 p.m

11:12 p.m

11:20 p.m

11:28 p.m

11:30 p.m

11:35 p.m

11:40 p.m

11:45 p.m

Midnight

12:30 a.m

Friday September 16th

4:10 p.m

Ten minutes later

Twenty minutes later

Thirty seconds later

Five minutes later

Walking home redly

Two minutes later

One minute later

Home

Five minutes later

Back in the kitchen. Two minutes later

In bed

One minute later

Two minutes later

Five minutes later

Saturday September 17th. 8:30 a.m

Lunch

3:00 p.m

6:00 p.m

6:30 p.m

Leaving Home. 7:15p.m

At the Honey Club. 8:30 p.m

Out in the club by the bar

Ten minutes later

In the tarts’ wardrobe

Back in the club

Two minutes later

One hour later

Half an hour later

Two minutes later

Ten minutes later

Two minutes later

Outside

Two minutes later

Two minutes later

One minute later

Two minutes later

The Simple Years “Let’s go down the disco”

The Middle Years. 1. The Viking bison disco inferno

2. The snot disco inferno

Contents

Great Mates Scale

Отрывок из книги

THE COMPLETE FAB CONFESSIONS OF GEORGIA NICOLSON: BOOKS 1-10

Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging

.....

I was shattered by the time I got up there. There were seven of us all in peak condition – i.e. spluttering and coughing. Jackie said we were going to do a black art act of levitation, calling on the dark forces to help us. Oh goodie, we’re summoning the devil. What larks.

Abby Nicols “volunteered” to be the sacrificed one and she had to lie down on a desk. Jackie went at her head and Alison at her feet and then the rest of us spread out evenly around her. Jackie said, “Please be very quiet and concentrate, we are summoning dark forces. Put one finger of each hand underneath Abby’s body and then we will begin.”

.....

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