Engaging Men

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Lynda Curnyn. Engaging Men

CRITICAL PRAISE FOR LYNDA CURNYN’S DEBUT NOVEL, CONFESSIONS OF AN EX-GIRLFRIEND:

Engaging Men

Lynda Curnyn

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Contents

1. Tight lids and other theories of male behavior

2. I’m not really a wife, but I play one on TV

3. Welcome to Brooklyn. Population: Married

4. I just called…to SCREAM…I LOVE YOU!

5. A rose by any other name…might still do the trick

6. Love means never having to pack an overnight bag

7. All a girl needs is a little courage—and a hefty credit line

8. I have seen the future (and it’s gonna cost a bundle)

9. Caution: This jar is not a toy! Please keep out of reach of children

10. A nose is a nose is a nose…

11. When life gives you lemons, screw the lemonade. You need a real cocktail

12. Happiness might just be a warm gun

13. Till death (at 30,000 feet) do us part

14. I shoulda packed the ruby slippers…

15. I’m in a New York state of…mania

16. And you thought it was just a common house plant

17. I’ll take a carat and a half—hold the husband

18. Love happens. (And there really is nothing you can do about it.)

19. The heart is a hearty muscle (Thank God)

Epilogue

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—Publishers Weekly

“A diverse cast of engaging, occasionally offbeat characters, the hilarious sayings attributed to them, and a fast-paced style facilitated by Emma’s pithy sound-bite ‘confessions’ add to the fun in a lively Manhattan-set story…”

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We met at my “day job,” or second shift, at Lee and Laurie Catalog, where I was a part-time customer service rep to make up for all the money I didn’t get paid as an actor. At the time, Kirk had been working for Lanix, which happened to be the software that Lee and Laurie thrived on, and had come to update our systems. From the moment I saw him, studiously occupied at one of the many terminals that littered the landscape of Lee and Laurie, I was intrigued. Not only was he good-looking, with dark brown hair, intelligent gray eyes, full lips and a strong jaw, he was smart. So smart, in fact, he didn’t seem to notice anyone or anything except the scramble of codes he typed into each terminal as he bounded from cubicle to cubicle. Which was probably why I succumbed to him so quickly, at least according to Grace, whom I called repeatedly to report to on how my every effort at flirtation fell completely flat. Still, I couldn’t stop conjuring up reasons to lure Kirk to my work-station—a lazy mouse, a jammed keyboard (sesame seeds from lunch, but at least I got a smile out of him) and a surprising lack of understanding of the new software updates he’d just installed. And as he patiently wiggled my mouse, dusted my keyboard and explained the new procedures yet again, I made goofy-but-good-natured jokes, standing close enough to “accidentally” brush his arm (delightfully solid) or smile winningly up at his smooth and seemingly unruffled features.

“I’m obsessed with him,” I told Grace during the second week of failed innuendos.

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