A Handful of Sand

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Marinko Koscec. A Handful of Sand

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A Handful of Sand

Marinko Koščec

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It’s not masochism which draws me to such restaurants. On the contrary, there’s usually a beneficial, liberating turn of events: my accumulated grief is stirred up, grows to unbearable satiety and bursts out in bouts of hysterical laughter, before morphing into a diabolical euphoria; this subsides into an ease which I take away with me, almost floating. In the hours that follow, everything is rinsed out of me, everything is gone. I’m damned wherever I am and whatever happens; I’d give my last piece of clothing if someone asked, or calmly watch my inner organs be excised.

And in the morning, on the dot of five, it starts all over again.

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