Is It In Yet? The Big Book of Sexual Failures

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Mark Leigh. Is It In Yet? The Big Book of Sexual Failures
DISCLAIMER
WARNING
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN
WHATEVER TURNS YOU ON
GOING SOLO
AWKWARD MOMENTS
JUST PLAIN STUPID
BEASTLY BEHAVIOUR
CLOTHES MAKETH THE MAN
PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES
SERIOUS SHORTCOMINGS
TAKEN FOR A RIDE
MISCELLANEOUS
S&M
STUCK!
NOT TONIGHT, DARLING…
SEX LAWS
FOOD FUN AND GAMES
FOR THE THRILL OF IT
SEX FOR SALE
EXHIBITIONISTS
OUCH!
BE SATISFIED WITH WHAT GOD GAVE YOU
PLAYING AWAY
YOU’RE NICKED!
THAT’S JUST WRONG!
SAYINGS ABOUT SEX
COPYRIGHT
Отрывок из книги
All the incidents featured (even the really freaky ones and the ones that make you squirm) are presented in good faith, having been previously reported as fact and sourced from a wide variety of diverse publications, news services, hospital records and the Internet. If names, dates, locations or eventual consequences are absent, that is because none were provided in the original source material. In addition, it should be noted that many stories turn up in multiple sources but with slightly different facts. To this effect, the author and publishers cannot accept responsibility for any inaccuracies and apologise in advance for any inadvertent errors in reporting.
Look, at the end of the day it’s not that important. It’s not a book about something heavy like Gurdjieffian theory, the financial derivatives market or quantum physics; it’s a book about sexual failures.
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Forty-year-old Jimmy ‘The Beard’ Ferrozzo was assistant manager of The Condor Topless Club in San Francisco and, after closing time one night in November 1983, he decided to frolic with one of the dancers – twenty-three-year-old Teresa Hill – on top of the club’s grand piano. During their show of passion, a stray leg or arm accidentally knocked the button that raised the piano majestically into the air on a hydraulic lift – a popular gimmick used at the club. Ferrozzo died from asphyxiation when he was crushed between the piano and the ceiling, while the cushioning effects of his 220-lb body saved Hill, whose shouts the next morning alerted rescuers.
John Boyman, twenty-nine, of Erie, Pennsylvania, was visiting a local strip club, where he managed to get a table right at the front. He was having a good time, enjoying the antics of the club’s star performer, Cherri Blossom. She removed her bra but, to Mr Boyman’s disappointment, was wearing two small sequinned tassels over her nipples. Feeling short-changed, to Miss Blossom’s and everyone else’s surprise, he jumped on stage and attempted to remove the tassels with his teeth. His attempt on the first one was successful but, in his haste and excitement to remove the second, he swallowed it and choked to death.
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