What to Do to Retire Successfully

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Martin B. Goldstein. What to Do to Retire Successfully

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The next generation

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With over half the marriages in the United States ending in divorce, family makeup has become, in many cases, more complex. Often, this complexity has led to division, jealousy and animosity among family members. Coupling this additional negative element to the usual disagreements among members of intact families, familial strife is quite a common occurrence. As one who has conducted family therapy sessions for many years, I can attest to the viciousness and hatred that can fester between people who at one time felt love for each other. Retirement should be a time of peace-making and a time to set aside differences and propose a truce to all hostilities. The mind should be cleansed of negative feelings. You are above bad-mouthing anyone; it is beneath your status now. You have arrived at a level beyond petty grievances. All feuding and ill-will should be shed like a worn-out coat, not only for the tranquil results but for the peace of mind and pride it will instill.

Nothing can be as disruptive to retirement planning as an unstable marriage. Knowing you have married someone who will be a trustworthy partner through good times and bad is a gift beyond words. I have been blessed to have been married to the same good woman for over fifty years. However, despite this very stable marriage, I can tell you it has taken a lot of emotional effort on both our parts to make it work. We are only human. We are not angels. There are no perfect people and adjustments have to be made to accommodate a happy union.

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