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Massimo Recalcati. In Praise of Forgiveness
CONTENTS
Guide
Pages
Dedication
In Praise of Forgiveness
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Notes
1 The Ideology of the New. The Contemporary Degradation of Love Lives
Resignation or Dopamine?
Narcissistic Love
Two Lies for Our Time
The New Libertine Ideology
Love as Resistance to the Libertine Worship of the New
Notes
2 Encounter and Destiny. Love as Oedipal Repetition
Falling in Love with Ourselves
The Scream of Life
The Discussion about Barolo
The Sexual Relationship Does Not Exist
We Are Loved Not Because of Something, But ‘Because of Everything’
The Loving Encounter is the Birth of a World
Disappointed Love
The Eros of the Encounter
Fidelity
The Face and the Eternal
Notes
3 Trauma and Abandonment. A Captive Freedom?
Albertine
Is the Promise of Love Always False?
‘It’s Not Like It Used To Be’
What Is a Trauma?
The First Blow
Trauma is the Flipside of Repression
Trauma in Love
Falling into Non-Sense
The Fall This Side of the Mirror
A Wound With No Cure
Abandonment
Notes
4 The Work of Forgiveness. Courageous Love
The Adulterous Woman
To Forgive the Unforgivable?
Reflection by the Subject
The Impossibility of Forgiving Out Of Love
The Work of Forgiveness and the Work of Mourning
Forgiveness and Gratitude
Why Men Find It More Difficult to Forgive
Violence Without Law
Violence and Love
The Tender Assassin
Absolute Exposure to Love
Virgil’s Gloves
Narcissism and Depression
Woman’s Foreign Language
‘They Are All Whores!’
Killing Them in Order to ‘Love’ Them
The Joy of Forgiveness?
Forgiving Oneself
Notes
POLITY END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT
Отрывок из книги
To Luciana Sica, to her strength
Translated by Alice Kilgarriff
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The heretical moment foretold by psychoanalysis contains within it a rightful demand: to demonstrate the extent to which narcissistic love is an illusion that does not feed the bond with the Other, but that reinforces the Ego’s passionate, one-way devotion to itself. When I say ‘I love you’, I am also saying ‘I love myself through you.’ Freud is clear on this point: when I choose to love the Other, I choose to love the person who represents the ideal image of my Ego. Love can have many sides and one of these is without doubt that of a scam, of blindness, of suggestion, of hypnosis, of narcissistically falling in love.9
Today, this act of unmasking the loving Ideal has ended up fatally colluding with the hyper-hedonistic cynicism of the capitalist discourse. Psychoanalysis has unwittingly served the new master – the capitalist discourse – which decrees love to be an illusion, whilst insisting that what counts in life is the acquisition of the highest possible quota of enjoyment. It is also for this reason that the time has come for psychoanalysis to say something more on love. If this disenchantment has come from the dominant ideology that dismisses everything beyond the closed horizon of the Ego as naïve belief and pure misrecognition, then psychoanalysis needs to rediscover the role it plays in sustaining critical social theory, recovering the dimension of love as absolute exposure, as an irreducible and unique point of resistance in the face of the cynical and narcissistic bent that feeds the capitalist discourse. This means revaluating psychoanalysis, seeing it as a possible discourse on love that cannot be absorbed by either the libertine worship of desire without ties or the bourgeois resignation to lifeless routine, rather than solely as a force that deconstructs the loving Ideal. Is it not up to psychoanalysis, today more than ever, to endorse once more the dimension of love in its absolute risk? Should psychoanalysis itself not wager the existence of a new love, a ‘new love’ capable, as Lacan would have said, of making desire (as a demand for love that makes the loved one unique and irreplaceable) and enjoyment (as the urge of an erotic body of drive) converge with love rather than dissociate from it?
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