The Noble School Leader

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Matthew Taylor. The Noble School Leader

Table of Contents

List of Tables

List of Illustrations

Guide

Pages

The Noble School Leader

Introduction

Acknowledgments

About the Author

I Preparing to Do Mindset Work

1 Seven Invisible Obstacles to Strong School Leadership

The Transactional Manager

The Unintended Enabler

The Negative Controller

The Pacesetter

The Doer

The Imposter

The Implementer

Why These Mindsets Matter

School Leadership Is Primarily Emotional Work …

… And Emotions Are Contagious

We Cannot Teach Mindsets …

Internal Below‐the‐Surface Obstacles

Interpersonal Below‐the‐Surface Obstacles

… But Productive Mindsets Can Be Learned

… And EI Is the Key

Endnotes

2 Building New Mindsets and Behaviors with Emotional Intelligence: (How You Will Drive Your Learning Using This Book)

Applying EI with the 5‐Square

How the 5‐Square Works: A Personal Case Study

The Left Side of the 5‐Square: Doing Our Self‐Work

Grounding in My Power (What's My Standard?)

Other Core Power Drivers

Building Self‐Awareness (What's My Stuff?)

Building Self‐Management: Leveraging Our Standard, Managing Our Stuff, and Plugging into Our Drivers

Creating Space Between a Trigger and My Response

Self‐Talk Grounded in Core Values

Choosing a Noble Story

Holistic and Proactive Self‐Management: Plugging into Our Core Drivers

The Right Side of the 5‐Square: A Focus on Others

Social Awareness: Where Are They and Where Do They Need to Be?

Relationship Management: What Others Need from Me to Reach My Targets

Connection: Authenticity, Presence, and Attunement

Care: Investment and Belief

Challenge

Applying the Five Domains to Grow

Endnotes

3 Preparing for the Learning Journey by Connecting to Your Power

Our Power Map

Core Driver 1: Life Path

Activity 1: Lifeline

Step 1: Create Your Lifeline

Step 2: Share Your Story

Step 3: Reflect with Your Partner

Journal Reflection

Activity 2: Values Sort

Step 1: Top 10

Step 2: Top 7

Step 3: Top 3

Journal Reflection

Activity 3: Connecting to Values in Context

Journal Reflection

Core Driver 2: Well‐Being

Activity 1: Wellness Audit

Reality Check

Activity 2: My Ideal Wellness Schedule

Journal Reflection

Core Driver 3: Relationships

Activity: Relationship Mapping

Journal Reflection

Core Driver Four: Self‐Expression

Self‐Expression and Flow

Activity 1: Finding More Flow

Reality Check

Journal Reflection

Self‐Expression and Personal Voice

Activity 2: Where and How Am I Bringing My Voice?

Reality Check

Journal Reflection

From Plan to Practice

Endnotes

II Working the 5-Square

4 The Transactional Leader

Does Isabel's story resonate with you? Read this chapter if you:

Transactional Leadership and Its Costs in Learning Organizations

The Work Ahead

Step 1: Start with the End in Mind

Step 2: Building Self‐Awareness

What Are Your Triggers?

What Sensations and Emotions Do You Experience?

What Stories Get in Your Way?

Our Stories and Our Identities

Then What Do You Do?

What Is the Impact of Your Behaviors?

Pause and Reflect

Connect with Your Power to Choose New Ways of Being

Step 3: Building Self‐Management Strategies

Creating Space Between Trigger and Response

Grounding in Your Standard with Self‐Coaching

Rewrite Noble Stories

Self‐Work: Pause and Reflect

Step 4: Build Social Awareness to Diagnose Needs and Set Targets

Where Do They Need to Be? (Defining Your Targets)

Step 5: Manage Relationships to Meet Your Targets

Other Work: Pause and Reflect

Now the Real Work Begins

Endnotes

5 The Unintended Enabler

Unintended Enabling in Learning Organizations

Step 1: Start with the End in Mind

Step 2: Building Self‐Awareness

What Are Your Triggers?

What Sensations and Emotions Do You Experience?

What Stories Get in Your Way?

Our Stories and Our Identities

Then What Do You Do?

What Is the Impact of Your Behaviors?

Pause and Reflect

Step 3: Build Self‐Management Strategies

Creating Space Between Trigger and Response

Grounding in Your Standard with Self‐Coaching

Rewrite Noble Stories

Self‐Work: Pause and Reflect

Step 4: Build Social Awareness to Diagnose Needs and Set Targets

Where Do They Need to Be? (Defining Your Targets)

Step 5: Manage Relationships to Meet Your Targets

Other Work: Pause and Reflect

Now the Real Work Begins

Endnotes

6 The Negative Controller

Negative Controllers in Learning Organizations

Step 1: Start with the End in Mind

Step 2: Build Self‐Awareness

What Are Your Triggers?

What Sensations and Emotions Do You Experience?

What Stories Get in Your Way?

Our Stories and Our Identities

Then What Do You Do?

What Is the Impact of Your Behaviors?

Pause and Reflect

Step 3: Build Self‐Management Strategies

Creating Space Between Trigger and Response

Grounding in Your Standard with Self‐Coaching

Rewrite Noble Stories

Self‐Work: Pause and Reflect

Step 4: Build Social Awareness to Diagnose Needs and Set Targets

Where Do They Need to Be? (Defining Your Targets)

Step 5: Manage Relationships to Meet Your Targets

Other Work: Pause and Reflect

Now the Real Work Begins

Endnotes

7 The Pacesetter

This Is Not Just About You

Pacesetting, the Sacrifice Syndrome, and Schools

The Work Ahead

Step 1: Start with the End in Mind

Step 2: Build Self‐Awareness

Starting with Behavior

When Your Standard Becomes Your Stuff

Competing Commitments in Context

Emotional Reactions and Our Self‐Limiting Stories

Identity and Our Stories

The Deep and Broad Impact of Pacesetting

Pause and Reflect

Step 3: Build Self‐Management Strategies

Plan Ahead

Creating Space Between Trigger and Response

Grounding in Your Standard with Self‐Coaching

Rewrite Noble Stories

Self‐Work: Pause and Reflect

Step 4: Build Social Awareness to Diagnose Needs and Set Targets

Defining Your Targets (Where You Need Them to Be)

Step 5: Manage Relationships to Meet Your Targets

Other Work: Pause and Reflect

Now the Real Work Begins

Endnotes

8 The Doer

Doers in Education Organizations

The Work Ahead

Step 1: Start with the End in Mind

Step 2: Build Self‐Awareness

What Are Your Triggers?

What Sensations and Emotions Do You Experience?

What Stories Get in Your Way?

Our Stories and Our Identities

Then What Do You Do?

What Is the Impact of Your Behaviors?

Pause and Reflect

Step 3: Build Self‐Management Strategies

Creating Space Between Trigger and Response

Grounding in Your Standard with Self‐Coaching

Rewrite Noble Stories

Self‐Work: Pause and Reflect

Step 4: Build Social Awareness to Diagnose Needs and Set Targets

Where Do They Need to Be? (Defining Your Targets)

Step 5: Manage Relationships to Meet Your Targets

Other Work: Pause and Reflect

Now the Real Work Begins

Endnotes

9 The Imposter

Imposter Phenomenon in Education Organizations

The Work Ahead

Step 1: Start with the End in Mind

Step 2: Build Self‐Awareness

What Are Your Triggers?

What Sensations and Emotions Do You Experience?

What Stories Get in Your Way?

Our Stories and Our Identities

Then What Do You Do?

What Is the Impact of Your Behaviors?

Pause and Reflect

Step 3: Build Self‐Management Strategies

Creating Space Between Trigger and Response

Grounding in Your Standard with Self‐Coaching

Rewrite Noble Stories

Self‐Work: Pause and Reflect

Step 4: Build Social Awareness to Diagnose Needs and Set Targets

Where Do They Need to Be? (Defining Your Targets)

Step 5: Manage Relationships to Meet Your Targets

Other Work: Pause and Reflect

Now the Real Work Begins

Endnotes

10 The Implementer

Implementers in Education Organizations

The Work Ahead

Step 1: Start with the End in Mind

Step 2: Build Self‐Awareness

What Are Your Triggers?

What Sensations and Emotions Do You Experience?

What Stories Get in Your Way?

Our Stories and Our Identities

Then What Do You Do?

What Is the Impact of Your Behaviors?

Pause and Reflect

Step 3: Build Self‐Management Strategies

Create Space Between Trigger and Response

Ground in Your Standard with Self‐Coaching

Rewrite Noble Stories

Self‐Work: Pause and Reflect

Step 4: Build Social Awareness to Diagnose Needs and Set Targets

Where Do They Need to Be? (Defining Your Targets)

Step 5: Manage Relationships to Meet Your Targets

Other Work: Pause and Reflect

Now the Real Work Begins

Endnotes

III Staying Focused Over Time

11 Working Your 5‐Square for Lasting Behavior Change

Build Your System

Set Measurable and Time‐Bound Goals

Use Your Technology

Work Your 5‐Square

Create Mindful Space

Build Your Support Network

Social–Emotional Leadership: Creating the Conditions for Adult Social–Emotional Learning

Appendices Introduction

Appendix A: Transactional Leader Sample 5‐Square Development Plan. Aspirational Leadership Headline

Vision for Success. What I Will Be Doing/Saying

How I Will Feel When I'm Leading This Way

What Others Will Be Doing/Saying

What Others Will Be Feeling

Appendix B: Unintended Enabler 5‐Square Development Plan. Aspirational Leadership Headline

Vision for Success. What I Will Be Doing/Saying

How I Will Feel When I'm Leading This Way:

What Others Will Be Doing/Saying

How Others Will Feel When I Am Leading This Way

Appendix C: Negative Controller Sample 5‐Square Development Plan. Aspirational Vision

What I Am Doing

What I Am Feeling

What Others Are Doing

What Others Are Feeling

Appendix D: Pacesetter Sample 5‐Square Development Plan. Aspirational Leadership Headline

Vision for Success. What I Will Be Doing/Saying

How I Will Feel When I'm Leading This Way

What Others Will Be Doing/Saying

What Others Will Be Feeling

Appendix E: Doer Sample 5‐Square Development Plan. Aspirational Leadership Headline

Vision for Success. What I Will Be Doing/Saying

How I Will Feel When I'm Leading This Way

What Others Will Be Doing/Saying

What Others Will Be Feeling

Appendix F: Imposter Sample 5‐Square Development Plan. Aspirational Leadership Headline

Vision for Success. What I Will Be Doing/Saying

How I Will Feel When I'm Leading This Way

What Others Will Be Doing/Saying

What Others Will Be Feeling

Appendix G: The Implementer Sample 5‐Square Development Plan. Aspirational Leadership Headline

Vision for Success. What I Will Be Doing/Saying

How I Will Feel When I'm Leading This Way

What Others Will Be Doing/Saying

What Others Will Be Feeling

Index

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“There's no one better able than Matthew Taylor to show how the emotional intelligence framework can be applied to school leaders. The Noble School Leader democratizes leadership excellence.”

— Daniel Goleman, author of Primal Leadership: Unleashing the Power of Emotional Intelligence

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I returned from Teleos seeing opportunities to apply this new EI language and understanding everywhere I looked. I came to see the conditions we are currently creating by default in our schools as an emergency. Our overreliance on data‐driven systems and protocols leaves adults and children in our schools feeling less connected and experiencing less care from one another. Classrooms and adult teams are less inclusive of the identities people bring to them. The structures and pace of the work take away the space and time that the adults need to be able to ground themselves in their personal WHY for doing the work, and to be able to be fully present as themselves in the moment. I find myself working with a generation of highly technical school leaders in highly structured schools who are deeply unhappy and feeling unsuccessful in their work. Many feel stuck and cannot figure out why. Others know why they are stuck but feel powerless to change within their existing system. Most of them wonder how long they will be able to last as school leaders.

With the perspective gained through the EI coaching, I felt called to advocate for change. Doug McCurry and Dacia Toll, AF's co‐CEOs, embraced this work and created the opportunity to share it with our AF principals through cohort training and one‐on‐one leader coaching. I had the privilege of making my passion for EI leadership my day job for seven years. During that time, I trained and coached many of the leaders in our organization. It was through that work that my colleagues and I created the tools for the practical application of EI theory. We discovered that the training and coaching is relevant for leaders at every level of seniority. Actually, there is usually a greater need for this social–emotional approach to development the higher one travels up the leadership pipeline. We also found that, unless the leaders at the top of an organization are doing their own social–emotional work, it is not likely that others down the chain will be able to do so effectively.

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