Two Men In a Car (A Businessman, a Chauffeur, and Their Holidays in France)
Описание книги
'A splendid romp. Vive la France!'<br>Peter Mayle, author of 'A Year in Provence' and many other bestsellers<br><br>'Mike Buchanan is the best kind of opinionated, middle-aged, middle-class Englishman abroad: the funny kind.'<br>Andy Heslop<br><br>'If you have a sense of humour, this book will put a big smile on your face. I laughed out loud many times. A refreshing absence of political correctness.'<br>The lovely Maureen Padley<br><br>Political correctness is a curse of the modern era. This book is not politically correct. And it celebrates la belle France: the beautiful ladies, the fine food and wine, the glorious scenery and weather, and more besides. If you're offended by the book's contents, kindly moan about it to someone else, not the author. He's had more than his fill of being moaned at over the years. Mike Buchanan is a 50-year-old overweight diabetic short-sighted businessman and published author, who lives in Bedford. He's been a Francophile for as long as he can remember, and is rarely happier than when holidaying in France. In August 2007, following the breakdown of his second marriage, he took a holiday in France with his chauffeur, the (equally) politically-incorrect Thunderin' Paul Carrington. The two men enjoyed themselves so much that they took a second holiday in France in July 2008. This book relates the story of both holidays, in chapters with the following titles:<br><br>1 Our first week with Anne and Mark Phillips<br>2 Why my dinner cost 40 times more than Paul's<br>3 Hobnobbing with Ivana Trump in Monte Carlo<br>4 'Would you like to have sex with my wife?'<br>5 We witness a miracle in Lourdes<br>6 In defence of pate de foie gras<br>7 Paul worries about becoming a gay icon<br>8 Nuits-St-Georges is twinned with Hitchin<br>9 'It's always better if you have a big one!'
Оглавление
Mike Buchanan. Two Men In a Car (A Businessman, a Chauffeur, and Their Holidays in France)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
INTRODUCTION
1. OUR FIRST WEEK WITH ANNE AND MARK PHILLIPS
2. WHY MY DINNER COST 40 TIMES MORE THAN PAUL’S
3. HOBNOBBING WITH IVANA TRUMP IN MONTE CARLO
4 ‘WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH MY WIFE?’
5. WE WITNESS A MIRACLE IN LOURDES
6. IN DEFENCE OF PÂTÉ DE FOIE GRAS
7. PAUL WORRIES ABOUT BECOMING A GAY ICON
8. NUITS-ST-GEORGES IS TWINNED WITH HITCHIN
9 ‘IT’S ALWAYS BETTER IF YOU HAVE A BIG ONE!’
EPILOGUE
APPENDIX 1. PACKING LISTS FOR FRANCE
APPENDIX 2. KEITH FLOYD’S BŒUF À LA BOURGUIGNONNE
APPENDIX 3. RAYMOND BLANC’S COQ AU VIN
APPENDIX 4. MIKE BUCHANAN’S COQ AU VIN
APPENDIX 5. THE FAT DUCK: TASTING MENU AND WINE
APPENDIX 6. LE MANOIR AUX QUAT’ SAISONS: NOTRE MENU DÉCOUVERTE
APPENDIX 7. Thunderin’ Paul Carrington: excerpt from Guitar Gods in Beds. (Bedfordshire: a Heavenly County)
PLATE SECTION (16 PHOTOGRAPHS)
Отрывок из книги
My first thanks must go to Paul Carrington for his patience in accompanying a ‘ten percenter’ around France for two months. A ‘ten percenter’ is Paul’s disparaging term for members of the elite which he believes to be responsible for everything wrong about modern-day Britain. In a curious way he’s right about the elite, but I’ve never been a member. As all right-thinking people know, the elite has consisted of readers of The Guardian since the 1997 general election.
My thanks to the lovely ladies of France, especially those working in bars and restaurants. They bring such joy into the lives of men such as myself. My thanks to the wonderful restauranteurs, chefs, cheesemakers and winemakers of France. I thank the French in general for their determination to retain their cultural identity, except when it leads to quotas for state-financed French music on their radio channels.
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WEDNESDAY 8 AUGUST
It was a fine day and whilst I was engaged in my writing in the morning Paul walked around the area, accompanied as usual by Louis, the owner’s Jack Russell. Louis’ main aim in life was to catch rabbits but sadly he was now too old to manage it. On one occasion when Paul opened the car door to retrieve something, Louis flew into the car. Clearly he thought Paul had adopted him.
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