Give Birth Like a Feminist

Give Birth Like a Feminist
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As featured on BBC Radio 2 and BBC Radio 5 Live Selected as one of the Independent's 10 best pregnancy books for expectant parents Birth is a feminist issue. It’s the feminist issue nobody’s talking about. For too long women have been told, ‘a healthy baby is all that matters’. This book dares to say women matter too.Finally blasting the feminist spotlight into the labour ward, Milli Hill encourages women everywhere to stand and deliver, insisting that birth is no longer left off the list in discussions about female power, control and agency.From the importance of birth plans to your human rights in childbirth, and including birth stories from women across the world, this call-to-arms will help you find your voice, take an active role in your choices, and change the way you think about childbirth.Praise for Give Birth Like a Feminist‘I feel so lucky to have read Milli’s book while pregnant, she completely changed my way of looking at giving birth’ Ella Mills, author of Deliciously Ella

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Милли Хилл. Give Birth Like a Feminist

GIVE BIRTH LIKE A FEMINIST. Your Body. Your Baby. Your Choices. Milli Hill

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Introduction

Chapter 1 ‘Am I Allowed?’: The Birth Room Power Imbalance

The Language of Permission

Bloody difficult women

MAKING A BIRTH PLAN LIKE A FEMINIST

Safety first?

#metoo: the power of no

Good girls

LANGUAGE OF MATERNITY CARE TO CALL OUT OR CHALLENGE

Obstetric violence

‘Can I hold her now?’ Who owns the baby?

Love from a distance: life in the NICU

‘Re-centering me as the decision maker’: love and loss

Opting out: freebirth

Chapter 2. Birth: the Land that Feminism Forgot?

Incapable women

The set-up

Two doors

ASSERTIVENESS IN MATERNITY CARE

Sorrow and trauma

Lacking attention

The cult of natural birth

#metoointhebirthroom

Chapter 3. When Women’s Bodies Became Men’s Business: A History of Birth

The hammer of witches

Tools of the trade

Eve’s curse

All or nothing: the angel in the birth room

‘A night dropped out of my life’

Feminist awakenings

Men’s pleasure, men’s convenience

Birth freedoms

A third way: relationship-based care

Chapter 4. Loose Women

‘I am the expert here’

Policing birth choices

Crazy choices

Midwives with their hands tied

THE PERFECT BIRTH ENVIRONMENT

Taboo topics

Yes! Sex!

Chapter 5. Women’s Bodies: Unfit for Purpose?

The broken chain of wisdom

Too much of a stretch?

The evidence maze

Have you had that baby yet?

FINDING THE EVIDENCE

Measuring up

Hands off!

Hands on

Technologised mistrust

Give birth like an adult

Chapter 6. Birth and Culture: ‘Fish can’t see water’

A tale of two bottoms

Bare reality

#birthjusthappened

#birthundisturbed

one born every minute

The gore of childbirth

WHAT IS POSITIVE BIRTH?

#soproud: celebrating new mothers

CELEBRATING YOURSELF POSTNATALLY

Seeing the water

Chapter 7. Birth Rights are Women’s Rights are Human Rights

Free choices?

Birth rights in the zeitgeist

Birth rights for every birth

WHITE RIBBON ALLIANCE: RESPECTFUL MATERNITY CARE CHARTER.[13] THE UNIVERSAL RIGHTS OF CHILDBEARING WOMEN

Woman-centred obstetrics

‘Gone are the days’: the end of medical paternalism?

‘It needed to be finished’

MAKING A COMPLAINT ABOUT YOUR CARE

Having a voice is a privilege

Sing loud like canaries

Stand and Deliver. A letter to pregnant readers

Be an adult

Know you matter

Make plans

Challenge the ‘language of permission’

Know there is no right or wrong way to give birth

Watch out for polarity

Demand the best care you can get

Think of other women too

Resources

Footnotes. CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

Endnotes. INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

Bibliography

Index

Acknowledgements

About the Author

About the Publisher

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Cover

Title Page

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Of course, you may actively want a VE, or indeed any other birth intervention. Giving birth like a feminist isn’t about declining everything, it’s about knowing that you can, and the shift in the power dynamic this brings. To use another example, in your sexual relationship, you hopefully know that if you say no to your partner at any point, they will respect your wishes. You may have been with your partner for just a few years, or for decades, and in all that time you might never have said no to them, not once. You might have said yes, yes, YES to everything! But all along, you have known that, if you wanted to say no, you could say it, and be respected. Just think how the power balance of your relationship would change if this fundamental and often unspoken understanding was not in place? And yet this is the exact dynamic in which the majority of Western women give birth.

There is a wider issue of compliance to those in ‘white coats’ that can affect all of us and is not purely a women’s issue. Most of us, male and female, have been conditioned to accept without question that ‘doctor knows best’ and to follow their ‘orders’. However, there is something about being female that makes challenging authority of any kind particularly difficult, perhaps because, as young girls looking around us as we grow, most of ‘authority’ is male. Politicians, lawyers, scientists, doctors, artists, philosophers: the default human-on-a-plinth is almost always male, and we grow up looking up to them and, consciously or unconsciously, absorbing maleness as synonymous with ‘leader’. The feminist campaigner Caroline Criado Perez has tackled this head-on, getting the first statue of a woman – Millicent Fawcett – in Parliament Square, along with Jane Austen commemorated on the new £10 note, but even in the twenty-first century, these are notable exceptions – and it’s worth remembering too that Criado Perez has been vilified in the media[16] and even sent death threats for her activism in this area.

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