Fragile - The true story of my lifelong battle with anorexia
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Nikki Grahame. Fragile - The true story of my lifelong battle with anorexia
CONTENTS
FOREWORD
PROLOGUE
FUN, FOOD AND FAMILY
THINGS FALL APART
A BIG, FAT LUMP
NEVER GIVE IN
THE MAUDSLEY
I DON’T BELONG HERE
HILLINGDON HOSPITAL
COLLINGHAM GARDENS
TOO UNCOOL FOR SCHOOL
RAW ANGER
DEATH PACT
ZOMBIE CHILD
GET ON AND DIE
SEDGEMOOR
HUNTERCOMBE
I’LL NEVER HAVE TO EAT AGAIN
RHODES FARM
I WANT TO LIVE
A NEW STRUGGLE
NEVER GOING BACK
BIG BROTHER
THE MAGIC AND THE MISERY
A LIFE WORTH LIVING
EPILOGUE
FURTHER READING AND RESOURCES
About the Author
Copyright
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I would also like to thank all of the doctors and carers who looked after me: Brian Lask, Dee Dawson, Paul Byrne and Sam Swinglehurst.
Chapter 2 Things Fall Apart
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Shortly afterwards Mum was watching me line up to collect my badge at a county trials competition. She remembers that as I waited my turn she looked at my face and all she could see was torment and misery. I was only seven and I’d reached a pretty good standard as a gymnast but I felt useless.
I had to improve, I had to get better. And for that, I had to get thinner. I also deserved to be punished for not being as good as I should have been. Well, that’s what I thought. So I started denying myself treats.
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