Food For Thoughtful Parenting

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Nina Psy.D. Coslov. Food For Thoughtful Parenting

introduction

Thoughts for Newbies

Gifts to Yourself

Teaching and Learning

Toys That Aren’t

Feeding the Family

Mealtime Tricks

Stuck Indoors: Feeling Restless

Stuck Indoors: Feeling Mellow

Be an Enabler

Out and About Adventures

Smoothing the Bumps

just the lists..

about the authors

acknowledgements

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Our goal for this book was to create a collection of lists that pulled together some of our favorite parenting strategies and tactics. We’ve gathered these ideas over years on playground benches, during parking lot chats, and through our own trial-and-error experiences. They are the ideas that best help us ease the way through rough spots, inject new energy into the time we spend with our families, and remind us to be the parents we want to be more of the time: relaxed, proactive, creative, supportive, and present. We share these with the hope that they might do the same for you.

Nina & Tara

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2. Let go. The demands and delight of a new baby leave much less time in your day to get the other stuff done. Here are two of our favorite ways to deal with this challenge: first, let go of some things to make room for what matters more. As new parents, we both heard tips such as “don’t clean the house,” “let the laundry pile up,” “sleep when the baby sleeps,” or “don’t return phone calls.” For one of us a messy house is cause for distress and anxiety … for the other it is not getting to the phone at least daily to connect with friends. Take the time to figure out what things bring you peace and enjoyment in these changing times and which tasks you can really “let go.”

Second, allow yourself to accept help—which can be harder than it seems. For us, one of the toughest things to “let go” of was our sense of independence and competence. We had cruised along for so many years smugly in control in the driver’s seat, takin’ care of business just fine, thank you. Amazingly, a thoughtful offer of assistance somehow cast a shadow of self-doubt, and we thought, “Am I someone who needs help?!” Pause. Reframe it. Ask yourself, instead, “Why wouldn’t I accept this kind gesture in order to have more time to bond with my baby, spend with my family, relax, sleep, work out, get to the phone (fill in the things that bring you peace and enjoyment here!) … ?” So our advice? Say yes, thank you, and let the help in! Savor the meal, soak in the clean tub, be grateful that the onesies are clean—even if they are folded in a funny shape.

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