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Dedicated to my daughter, Grace
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Take the situation with my friends – or lack of them. That came about when, at university, I was sharing a house with a roommate. We didn’t argue, but the atmosphere grew very cold and distant quite quickly. Even today, I can’t pinpoint exactly what the issue was: it was all unsaid, which was harder to resolve. I found solace in the online world. When she’d go out, I’d go straight upstairs and get on to my computer. There, I was able to escape my reality, distracting myself by getting deep into the world of makeup, hair and beauty – things I’d always loved, but had never had anyone to chat to about passionately. I started on a picture-sharing forum for women who wanted to grow their hair, improve their skin, and slay their makeup, where you could also write comments: Fotki, the Reddit of all things beauty. I would spend hours reading through people’s profiles, following their journeys to a greater glow and even longer hair. They would share pictures and then eventually move on to video: that was my fix before Instagram! You could swap tips and share praise. ‘Oh my gosh,’ we’d tell each other, ‘your hair has grown so much. And your skin looks great!’
I wouldn’t let anybody in my real life know that I could spend hours on these forums. How crazy would I sound talking about my weekend with a garlic and mayo scalp mix slathered on my hair, an egg face mask on and sweet potato skins on my eyes? It wasn’t really bragging material. Some people would mix hair-growth stimulants and sulphur with oil! (I don’t recommend you try that.) Or, they’d share unusual ideas such as the inversion method – tipping your head upside down and giving yourself a scalp massage to stimulate blood flow (also a headache). But we hoped an enviable head of hair would result! We’d set ourselves challenges and update each other every day on what we were doing. Looking back, what we were into was pretty niche, but it was amazing to be part of a community of like-minded people. Some people are into computer games and films, some of us are into the finer things in life, like sulphur mixes! All the time, I was tapping away, immersing myself in this world that I loved.
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